Godbreathed and handmade by God himself

In Loving Memory of Thadd

2007-06-24T22:35:00.000+08:00

A good evening to one and all.

This will be my final post. I'm gonna move blog. I will have to decide which, but that's not important now. It's apt to shift to my next phase as I previously mentioned- godspeed.

This is also apt as a final post, a eulogy of sorts to my beloved team mate Thaddaeus.

Today was his final day on Earth.

Even as I'm typing this, I can't believe it. It's seriously so unrealistic and unbelievable. He was a healthy, fine young man as many knew him. I'm seriously wondering why this happened, though I do not blame God. Humans can't possibly fathom the reason for such things and God is sovereign.

I do feel sad though, for terribly will I miss him and right now, I feel like crying again. I'm sure many of you know I'm not the crying sort of person, but this is one time I cried. I received the call from Caijing after Divya messaged me, asking me "Have you heard?". I immediately felt a sort of shock. I had a terrible feeling. I knew something was amiss. Even still, I wasn't prepared for what followed. Caijing called to say that Thaddaeus passed away on his way to the hospital after collapsing during the run segment of the SEA Games Triathlon trial this morning.

I am doing what I have found myself doing ever since that fateful call this afternoon. I am recalling the last time I spent with him. I truly thank God I decided to go the Bishan library to study and spend time with him on Friday after training. We had such a fun time. It was on that day I had just decided to put in an active effort to know him, since I realised that he could relate to me and felt comfortable sharing with me. It's too late now. I just realised something 15 mins ago as I was typing this post. I realise that as he was getting his massage from Alvin, I wanted to try giving him a massage as he said it didn't hurt. I said, "nevermind la, I'll do it next week", which now, the next week is coming, but he will not be around anymore.

I totally cried in church after realising I wil never ever see him again, save for the wake, which I definitely will attend. Seriously, it's a tragedy. He was always laughing and loving life. He was a patient guy and trained hard. I'll truly miss him.

One thing I thank God is that he was a Christian and that one day, one fine day I'll see him again. As a friend, I wanna make him proud. I think that in his passing, he has given me a gift- a gift only something this colossal could. He has given me, in a non-blaspheming way, the gift of life. More aptly put, by his passing, he has allowed me to rethink how I want to spend my life. He has let me see life new again. Thadd, if you're reading this wherever you are, I truly thank you for being the wonderful team mate you were and friend you were, really.

Man, I seriously am gonna miss him. I'm sorry I'm rambling and this post is totally unorganised, but I can't help it. I'm recalling now that last dinner I had with him. I don't regret that I was late for cell that day. I spent it with him, while he was waiting for his bro to be done running. As I ate and we talked, we truly enjoyed ourselves. I'll never forget his words to me that day. We were talking about girls and life and comparing this and that. I was telling him how people complained I have high standards and he was like "Actually I can totally see you making yourself famous and then finding yourself a model for a girlfriend." The funny guy. Even then, God was using him to be a blessing to me, to remind me of my dream God gave me.

Seriously, all this just makes one think of death and the power of death and the power of life. I truly believe that there is life in death and that through his passing Thaddaeus is being a blessing to us and once again, I truly thank him.

Reading Caijing's post-cum-eulogy of sorts, I remember after he collapsed at the Nationals for biathlon while he was winning by a stretch, that there might be a problem, since he collapsed and was unconscious for quite a while... It's too late now. It's too late.

Thadd, God bless your soul and I'll be praying for your family. Bless your heart.
Thadd, this one's for you.

In Loving Memory by Alter Bridge
Thanks for all you’ve done
I’ve missed you for so long
I can’t believe you’re gone and
You still live in me
I feel you in the wind
You guide me constantly

I’ve never knew what it was
To be alone...no
Cause you were always
There for me
You were always home waiting
But now I come home
And I miss your face so
Smiling down on me
I close my eyes to see

And I know
You’re a part of me
And it’s your song
That sets me free
I sing it while
I feel I can’t hold on
I sing tonight
'Cause it comforts me

I carry the things
That remind me of you
In loving memory of
The one that was so true
You were as kind as you could be
And even though you’re gone
You still mean the world to me

I’ve never knew what it was
To be alone...no
Cause you were always
There for me
You were always home waiting
But now I
Come home and it's not the same no
It feels empty and alone
I just can't believe you're gone

And I know
You’re a part of me
And it’s your song
That sets me free
I sing it while
I feel I can’t hold on
I sing tonight
'Cause it comforts me

I’m glad He set you free from sorrow
But I’ll still love you more tomorrow
And you will be here
With me still

All you did you did with feeling
And you always found a meaning
And you always will
And you always will
And you always will

And I know
You’re a part of me
And it’s your song
That sets me free
I sing it while
I feel I can’t hold on
I sing tonight
'Cause it comforts me

"Call unto Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know." -Jeremiah 33:3

Thadd's in the last row. Third from the left.

One day, I'll write a song for you and I make sure the world will know it.

In loving memory of Thadd.
1990-2007
A true brother-in-Christ.
Yours was a life too short, but your memory and influence will live on long in our hearts always.
We love you and miss you.
You have inspired to push on and give my best.
I'll see you when I get there.
Meanwhile, do us all a fave and say hello to the Big Man Up There, will ya pal? =* )

Anberlin!

2007-06-05T20:13:00.000+08:00

Alright! It's time for a chronicling of what's been up lately. I don't like my previous post and what better to replace it than a post on the Anberlin concert on Sunday?! Whoo! I (actually my dad) paid 60 bucks to let me go watch them. They were the last band featured that night but darn it was worth the wait. They played The Feel Good Drag, Never Take Friendship Personal, Paperthin Hymn, Godspeed (which btw is the name I feel like getting for my next blog. or rather, have felt like for ages. it is also the second phase in life to me. My life, I have decided will be categorised into three phases-Godbreathed, Godspeed and then Godsent. Yea.3G. lol.) Anyway, they played Hello Alone too. Can't remember what else though. Hmmm. Anyway, I was crazy enough to go for their acoustic set the next night too. They're good alright. They have a good stage presence. Even in their acoustic set I though they did better than Copland, another big name indie band. Indie cos they're relatively unknown too, though bigger than Anberlin I think. Anyway, -ooh, The Unwinding Cable Car by Anberlin's playing now on my playlist. I bought their latest album. heh.- Where was I. Oh, before I go on, they played this at their acoustic set. Ok, as I was gonna say, Copland's singer has quite a good voice. They have a few nice songs too. I still maintain that Anberlin is better, for now at least. I found out from Seema today that she was there too and Narpal too apparently. Didn't see them. They were in the front. Oh well. Had quite a blast. I wonder what it's like playing on stage man. I have to find out for myself sometime. Have to get good first.A rather joyous post, eh?*+_)

I'll finish up with lyrics from Godspeed by Anberlin

Burning down neverland.
Scatter the ashes, white lines.
Black tar, the matches is this another death by misdaventure.
Tell me what you got.
What you really got.
We'll rest in our graves.
Lexington course your veins.
Sleepers can't just wake the dead.
When needles and lovers collapse on guilty beds.
Fall asleep.
Don't fall asleep.
They lied when they said "The good die young."
Stay with me tonight.
Burning down the bridges now.
Scatter the ashes.
Godspeed to all you're after.
Is this a lie just to remember?
Tell them who you were.
Who you really were.
Kill yourself over time.
Fashion statement suicide.
She's still asleep in a Chelsea hotel.
Bad turns to worse, and the worst turns into Hell.
Fall asleep.
Don't fall asleep.
God save the eyes that dim tonight.
They lied when they said "The good die young."
Stay with me tonight.

alright. that's it.

night!

so help me, God.

2007-05-30T20:35:00.000+08:00

I'm taking a short while to update.

It's nothing about what happened today. It's just stuff that I find has been happening in general.

Actually, I think I'll just blab.

I've heard many things recently, some which hurt I guess. Iguess some are true. One of them is that the way I treat friendships is like I'm playing. It says that people are sensitive, especially girls. This means that when I talk to people, build rapport with them and develop a friendship, we become better friends. However, I do have other friends too. The problem is that I leave people hanging. I leave them at the point where they feel close to me and then suddenly find themselves nowhere as friends. I'm now wondering that point. Does that mean that if I stop talking to them that I just don't care? When will it be that I have shown I bother? Do I need to show it constantly? I don't think so, right. Maybe Aaron's right. If I spend much time with someone, it creates a dependence. So when is the time to draw a line? What if the person needs help? Once the problem is solved, another needs help and it's time to move on right? It sounds utilitarian, but it is true, no? The latter needs friendship time too. I don't know. I think that people just don't believe I treasure all my friends. That just lead me to the other thing I've heard. I'm a player. It's something that sucks man. I don't know la. I don't feel like talking about it, but not talking about it won't make it go away. I've coped many times by ignoring it, but still... Why should I be considered a player? Simply because I talk to someone? Or I can be open with people? Or because the people I talk to are attractive (even this is relative)? Why? If I can't be a friend to someone, I can't be a blessing to them, can I? When I do befriend someone, don't they know that it means 10 years down the road they can look for me when they need help? When I befriend someone, I do my best to try and expect nothing back, as much as it is human nature to still do. I don't claim to have achieved real selflessness, but what's to stop me from trying? What will? Perhaps all this sort of talk that I don't bother or that I couldn't give two nothings about people, when people are everything to me? Sigh. Another thing I don't get. Why do people suddenly decide to stop talking to me when they've been talking to me alright? Do I scare people? I have a theory. See, I'm a relatively open person. I can share things with people. It does not mean they will share it in return, but I do not ask they do. I just share it because I trust them with the information or what-have-you. I'm not trying to prod information out of others. I talk to people because I think they will make good friends. Why is it then that people seem to think I have some ulterior motive? Do I have a reputation that exceeds me and says that I do? What would I stand to gain?

Some say I think too much, which I agree to sometimes, but I bet I'm not wrong when I say people look at me. I don't know why. I meet their eyes and they don't go 'Hi' or anything. They immediately look away. Do I intimidate people or something? Sheesh. I think too much? Sometimes I think others don't think enough. If at all too.

Argh. Okayokay. I shall stop. I'm getting frustrated again, simply because I don't get all this. Righty then, I shall trudge on. A blessing I shall still try to be, as God has called me and told me to be.

"If you can't hear me, it does not mean I'm not talking."

RProject

2007-05-19T01:00:00.000+08:00

I'm redoing this post. It was super messy. Yea.

Alright. First and foremost,
Congrats to ALL RPROJECT MODELS, ORGANISERS, CREW as well as our choreographer, Rafal! Think we did a great job and that the show was good. A shout-out to the people in my group, Fury. Yea. Think we did wonderful. I'm also glad for RProject. I made many new friends, so it's cool. Sigh. Too bad I didn't get a photo with Nicky or Laura in the end. Darn. At least I had a wonderful experience (like learning new things and playing the silly "ti titi ti ti ti ti" game and making a ringtone of it).

Oh well, now to on to another person. Sophia, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! yea. You're eighteen! Walk close to God and keep your eyes set on Him.

Cheers.

For today's stuff... I woke up and the first thing was "Freak. I'm late for training." So I called Quek and ended doing an hour run on the school field. BORING, man. Anyway, then after that Mr Guy came over for a massage talk. Boy oh boy, now I'm aching in the quads. Aching like I've never ever ached before. Seriously. Anyway, I think perhaps now I know why people like the DS trainer. I'm considering getting them. I'm broke though. Hmmm... thinking of wearing light shoes only reminds me of an age ago where I wore light shoes. Didn't wear trainers. Looks like it's right. For flat-foot people like me, that's good. Plus my condition's weird. I strike on the outside foot but overpronate, not supernate like I believed. Yea. Mr Guy recommended some exercises too. The pronation since birth is why my legs ache like mad after the massage, since the outside of my legs work the most. For me, the energy I generate is dispersed into the ground instead of my nest step, so I've been working to keep myself moving. Cool. It's time my running takes some power and speed. I've been real slow so far.

Kk. I get longwinded (man I forgot for a while and was like "i get so windy" o.O). I shall stop here. I gotta go prepare to go for Grace's concert. Bye!

2007-05-10T22:18:00.000+08:00

Hey all! Just a short update. Yep. Firstly, congrats to Ryan, for his role in playing the Timpani, getting Gold. I believe its for Band. That's where I recall seeing the Timpani. Yea. Ok. It's not Gold with Honours, but many many kudos to the dude. First time touching the instrument man. Yea! 3 days practise. How cool.

A shoutout to Caijing and Steph, to always always remember that God's plans are perfect and to be humble and accept the situation's outcome in humility. Do your best, both of you.

Let's do some publicity for RProject since apparently it's suffering sad sales.RProject is a charity-cum-fashion show event. Dove Self-Esteem Fund and its beneficiary SingHealth Foundation, which provides programmes for children and teenagers to better educate them, for example, on eating disorders. That is the beneficiary. There will be stalls selling items as well, so do bring cash. I'm sure something nice for yourselves can be found. I'll be participating in this event, doing modelling. Ha. For those who are thinking "Err... Eww..." then I say "Yea, God bless you too" in all sincerity (I know it sounds insincere, but it isn't) and also that this year's theme celebrates real beauty. Ha. Like you know, not so much outer appearances. Lol. Oh, yea. There will be some designs that are original to RJ students. Steph is one of them. Ha.

Tickets are going for $5, $7 and $10, with the $10 one coming with a goodie bag and obviously, good seats. The goody bag is sponsored by a few companies and brands, most notably Hugo Boss. Please support. Thanks.

Oh and on a separate, self-praising point, the models had to attend this crash course on walking down the thingum. The guy, Rafal, who's from Poland is freaking professional man. He's no small time. He's done Miss Singapore World (he said he didn't do Miss Singapore Universe. his friend does that. like lol?) and he made mention of having helped out in Manhunt International. cool man. He's hilarious too. "Don't mind my criticisms. If I say you're walk like a cow, it doesn't mean that you are a cow, you just walk like one." Joker. The self-praising point is this. When it was the guys turn to like try, Sam and I had to go one of the first, cos we had training. Walked forward together and turned in sync. Ha. Not bad man. Evoked an unanimous "Wahhh" from those present. Lol. We're lik professional noobs. Ha. Kk. Self-indulgent moment's over.

Night!

Oh wait. Sorry. PS: Please please pray for me. I feel very drained nowadays and quite far from God (even though I know He's not far from me). I need discipline man. Please pray that the pain in my right calf is nothing serious (it could very well be a muscle tear) and that my breathlessness goes away. Thanks.

Somewhat Frustrated

2007-05-06T20:44:00.000+08:00

Alright. I'm here to say that man.... everything's getting annoying on me nowadays, though I don't react to it. Not pissing, but like 'what on earth' kinda thing. People are getting all weird on me, acting different from the normally are. Wait, now come to think of it, doesn't that make the probability that I've changed more likely, since everyone's seemingly different? hmmm...

Anyway, I'm feeling slightly ticked off... Ok. Ticke off sounds strong. Frustrated is better, anyway. Frustrated that I can't get my work done, when I want to. My literature seems in one of its lows. I notice that for lit, it has like booms and troughs, like a sine or cosine graph. It's at a low now; Pride and Prejudice is really annoying me (which is really weird, because I enjoy reading it...) I never really got Othello in the first place. Wilfred Own seems the most understandable. Sheesh. Maths seems to be improving, which naturally, is great; however, tomorrow's a test and I'm darn worried, because I want it to be alright, but I don't feel like it is gonna be. Sigh. Anyway, back to lit. I noticed this is sec 3-4, since I was doing well then for a while hovered around b3-4 grades before reverting to my A1-2 grades. When I first came to RJ, for first tests I got B then its been at a B. I pray I get A for As. Seriously. For like everything, though it's slightly hard to see, especially when I 'haven't got' the subjects I'm studying. You know, like there's this period when you like "oh... chey... it's like that...."? Yea. Basically, I'm not there yet. Argh. Sometimes I really feel like giving up.

Sigh. It's hard.

Nevermind. Sermon today teaches some sort of perserverance through prayer. I'll try.

Sermon points:
I. Priority of Prayer
II. Power of Prayer
III. Perseverance of Prayer

Right.... 25 weeks to Prelims or something. That's what I heard someone say. I don't bother to count. Maybe I should.... Each week just starts kinda somewhat draggy but yet not and then the next day and the next and soon the week is over. Man. 2 weeks time after this week is hols. Then after that, CTs. Man. During hols, I better live, breathe and sleep God, training, studies.

I...

am...

frustrated.

ps: don't go "No, you're Wen Loong..." (even if you're as lame as me). I'm not in the mood for it.

Spiderman 3

2007-05-01T09:38:00.000+08:00

Hey there, y'all! This is just to commemorate the launch of Spiderman 3, which I'll be watching in a few hours. Yep. It looks good and should be good. The Spiderman series is the best of all the comic-turned-movie series and this one doesn't look like it'll disappoint. Yep.

After I watch I might post a lil something on it, but here's something cute to watch, that's obviously related to Spiderman. The music video of 'Signal Fire' by Snow Patrol.

Signal Fire by Snow Patrol

The perfect words never crossed my mind
'Cause there was nothing in there but you
I felt every ounce of me, screaming out
But the sound was trapped deep in me

All I wanted, just sped right past me
But I was rooted fast to the earth
I could be stuck here for a thousand years
Without your arms to drag me out

There you are, standing right in front of me (x2)
All this fear falls away, you leave me naked
Hold me close, cause I need you to guide me to safety

No, I don't wanna wait forever (x2)

In the confusion, and the aftermath
You are my signal fire
The only resolution and the only joy
Is the faint spark of forgiveness in your eyes

There you are, standing right in front of me (x2)
All this fear falls away, you leave me naked
Hold me close, cause I need you to guide me to safety

There you are, standing right in front of me (x2)
All this fear falls away, you leave me naked
Hold me close, cause I need you to guide me to safety

No, I don't wanna wait forever (x3)

There. Yep. The kids are so cute. Ha. Lol. Not a paedo, but yea.

Cheers.

Robert Frost's A Road Less Travelled

2007-04-30T22:47:00.000+08:00

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost

That's a neat neat poem. It's a dedication to all crossers who ran at nationals that just passed. Yep. Those who trained for it too but didn't run too, of course. Yep. Loved the poem since the day I read it in Ang's letter in sec 4 before cross. Yea.

Anyway, had NAPFA today. Man, my 2.4 sucked. Stupid me, been sleeping at avergae of 2am since Cross finals. Argh. Can't blame anyone but myself. Anyway, got 30 points so ok la. Not bad. Finally perfect score again, after missing it last year by one point thanks to standing broad jump.

Here's how I did:
-2.4km Walk/Run: 7:55
-Shuttle Run: 9.0s
-Sit-ups :51
-Standing Broad Jump: 250cm
-Sit and Reach: 49cm
-Pull-ups: 13

Yep. Yay. Perfect! No need to retake though I feel like. I know after Track and Field my time would surely be better. Hai. Even take another day like next week my time would be better. For shuttle run, ok la Roy, not as good as yours, but my best ready. Tried twice. Both times 9.0 though second one, the first turn sucked especially bad, so still not bad. Yep. Standing broad jump finally A!!!! YEA! haha. lol. this reminds me of my church friends. whole day say I'm the cell group's hope for OCS in the army. lol. next time will greet me as "2nd Lieutenant Lau". lol. see how first. See if God wishes it. I just want enough time to practise... Yep.

Ok. There. Done. Goodnight.

clicketty click

2007-04-29T10:13:00.000+08:00

Found that on Chang Ming's blog. so cute. totally reminiscent of something i did before. can't remember where when how or why though. oh well. i guess deja vus are similar to nostalgia in a sense. or not.

Blood

2007-04-29T00:28:00.000+08:00

Had training today. First time in a week. 14km man. Tired. I might ache tomorrow. Bleagh.Nevermind. For track and field coming up. Meanwhile I better concentrate one my studies too.

Training today reminded me of the song Blood

Blood by My Chemical Romance Well they encourage your complete cooperation
Send you roses when they think you need to smile
I can't control myself because I don't know how
And they love me for it honestly I'll be here for a while

So give them blood, blood
Gallons of the stuff
Give them all that they can drink and it will never be enough
Give them blood, blood, blood
Grab a glass because there's going to be a flood.

A celebrated man amongst the gurneys
They can fix me proper with a bit of luck
The doctors and the nurses they adore me so
But it's really quite alarming cause I'm such an awful fuck (why thank you!)
I gave you blood, blood
Gallons of the stuff
I gave you all that you can drink and it has never been enough
I gave you blood, blood, blood
I'm the kind of human wreckage that you love!

oh man. my mum just threw Alvin's socks away. sorry Alvin. lol. I brought it back cos he left it at training but she just threw them away thinking they were mine. Said they were too dirty. arrgh. whatever.

ok this is why training reminded me of that song.

that's my shoes. and socks. bloodstained.

A nicer shot.

from this. i had thought it was a sand particle annoying me on my run. when i check i saw this. lol.

kk. i'm done. gonna sleep. i slept in the afternoon so i'm not that tired now. yep. but i gtg sleep still la. got stuck on art. yep. tmr better get more done. din get much done today.

night!

entertainment

2007-04-27T15:28:00.000+08:00

Here's a random piece of entertainment from Samuel Chew's blog. lol. amusing. click on the remaining smosh pieces to laugh at them. lamers man.

Funny Pokemon Theme Song Video.

2:19 is funny. lol

Random

2007-04-25T21:41:00.000+08:00

Man. Today sure was fun. Played soccer after PE and played soccer after school at the Cage before eating dinner with the crossers. Darn. That was fun. Yep. Tiring though. Anyway, my break before I resume training ends soon. 2 days time. That was fast, but I'm not complaining. I feel weird not training. One day I'll make it such that I feel weird not playing. Anyway, I learnt today that only three J2s intend to train for Track and Field. That's a pity and a pressure man. Yea. I'm the only one of the 3 (actually the whole team) with less thatn decent grades. No wonder Booth wants to see my parents. Figures.

Sigh. Right. Time to get disciplined and start sleeping early again. Time to start revising and not just coping or managing, but to excel.

As Thomas A. Edison once famoulsy said,

"Genius is ninety-nine per cent perspiration and one per cent inspiration."

Before I go, here's some random thing from Mich's blog. yep. lol. think I screwed it up. I put grey blanks for so many, cos none matched. Wonder if that meant I thought I had none. hmmm.. Anyway, here. check it out.

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

injustice

2007-04-21T23:50:00.000+08:00

Ok. I gotta go sleep. Tired from today's race. The NB aquathlon. I raced quite hard if you ask me. Yea. Right. I been sleeping late man. Hmmm. OK. That was random.

I'm posting this because of the injustice I felt was served today. Yea. You read right. Injustice. Argh. Sigh. Right. Here's what happened. I went down to the race venue, East Coast Park. It was held in Sentosa the last 2 years. I took a cab ride that cost me $12.40. Then, I made my way to the hut that the RJ participants were gathered in. Shortly after, I went to change and start warm-up. Muscles felt stiff. I haven't done proper easy run since Wednesday's Cross finals. I put on my race tag and realised it was pink. The others' were blue. I was like that's weird. I check with my swimmer what category he signed us up in. He said "A division" so I was hmmm alrigh. Well, soon the race started. My swimmer, Scott (whom I found out is my Dad's primary schoolmate's son) joined the rest in our division and swam. I did some striding and went to the transition area to await his arrival. He arrived first. Wei Wen was shocked, uttering "I'm sure Scott come first". Why? His swimmer's fastest in his age group. +note: many congratulations to Scott. you swam well+ He strips the champion chip off his ankle and I strap it on mine and run off, 3 secs before Wei Wen. I ran ahead for merely 400m or so and he overtakes me. He stays in front of me, even beckoning me to stay with him during the race. He finishes about 7-10 secs in front of me. Not bad for himself or myself. Yea. At this point, I have to say that doesn't it annoy you? When you lose by like 7 seconds you know that you could have pushed more and hurt more and cut off 8 seconds, just like how I felt so tired until I saw the end line. Suddenly, can whack a bit more. I'm sure. That's so bull. I'm such an amateur. I need to get this right. Maybe that's why people like track events. You know exactly the distance left to cover, unless of course you miscount the rounds. Hmm. Anyway, that's why I'm usually unhappy about a race. Like I was about Cross and I am today. Yes. Unhappy and disappointed. I finished 2nd when my swimmer did 1st. Let my swimmer down. Waste his effort. Sigh. Anyway, last 400m or so I overtook this girl from Cedar. Her name's Zerah or Xara or something. My coach was like overtake her, so I did. I would have I'm sure. I better be. Then I heard her coach or dad go "Stay with him!" Er.... That freaked me. Really did. I thought she was gonna whack me so I sprinted. Phew! Thank God I didn't lose. -_-;; My goodness. She did speed up k. Freaked me out so much. At the end, I came in 2nd. The distance apparently 5km. I did it in 17:22 or so. Wei Wen did it in 17:13. Yea. I must say I wish Alvin did better, though he did well already. He lost to an AC guy. A TJ one too. Sigh. Though RJ could sweep.

I was wrong.

Later, when the results were released, I didn't even check. I didn't check until my swimmer came to me to check what place I finished. I said 2nd. I didn't see anyone save Wei Wen overtake me. Then he dropped the bomb.

We weren't listed in the results.

What.On.Earth.

We went to check with the organisers who retrieve our race chip. Read this. They said that we participated in the wrong wave. Our designated wave was 9 and flagged off at 1427hrs. Our champion chip crossed the startline at 1417hrs. So guess what?

One word.

Disqualified.

So we lost our second place. We were apparently dumped into another wave with another category, cos there was only one category for our division. I feel that's unfair. Regardless, our combined time was 2nd place right... Sigh.

I feel so sorry for Scott. 2nd was already a disappointment I believe. He seemed upset when I came back 2nd when he did 1st. Sorry. Then he had to put up with the rubbish. Argh. Sorry dude.

Sigh.

On to other things. I watched Fracture starring Anthony Hopkins and Ryan Gosling. Yep. Not too bad. Not too bad at all. Yep. Watched it with Ryan after we went to dinner at Village at Heeren, courtesy of his mum. Oh. Let me explain. She decided to treat me cos I'm broke. Yea. As usual. Why? Cos I get pocket money for the sole provision of eating. I have no idea how my parents expect me to save when I have to eat right. All three meals with ten bucks. Yep. Plus some meals I eat double, so err yea. I could save everything in p1 though I got only one buck cos I could skip meals and not feel hungry. Now, I can't man. So yea. Ok. I had originally typed marginal propensity to save has dropped for me, but it's wrong. It's the average propensity to save (defined as the proportion of income,in this case given as pocket money, saved) is about 0-0.2. Then, when I go out, I don't get any extra. Not when I eat at Marche with friends. Not when I buy gifts for friends. So yea. Actually, my spendings are miracles themselves. Oh and this proves economics at work too. In econs, the MPC of the rich < style="font-style: italic;">extra income spent on consumption. In this case, it's 1. I spend all, since I go out with my various groups of friends. Now you know why I'm forever saying 'I want this' or 'I want that' but never getting it. Yea. I have problems saving to tither even. I owe God cash man.

Sigh.

Oh. Right. I wanted. Oh. Ok. Now I remember. Was gonna say I wanted to say something but forgot, but now I remember it again. Check this out. The new Oakley Gascan S and the new Oakley Radar. They are both totally on my wishlist. I love the Gascan series. Been wanting one since like I set my eyes on them. The Radar too. Sexy. Awesome. Wonderful. Revolutionary. Those are just a few words to describe them. Oh and this is dumb, but not many people have heard of the Radar series. Didn't want to write bout it cos then people would, but heck. Not like I can afford them anytime soon. Yea. Sorry la. I like being unique and exclusive. Oh and that just makes me wonder. Isn't elitist nature exclusive too? Does that make me elitist. Ha. Lol.

Gascan S

Radar

Aren't they sweet. Hai. k. Goodnight!

Still thinking about it

2007-04-19T22:26:00.000+08:00

Ok. I'm back. Posting again. This is rare. Ha. Man, this blog seems like the only place to say anything now. I don't feel like saying much to anyone nowadays. Ha. I feel strangely AS. Wonder why. I don't think it's Cross. I've been feeling this way a while now. I don't think it's anyone. Maybe I'm changing. Dunno man. Maybe I need it. Whatever. +ARGH. GOOD FRIGGIN GRIEF. SOME DARN SMOKER IS SO DARN FRIGGIN ANNOYING. I CAN SMELL THE SMOKE FROM HERE. NOT HELPING MY HEADACHE!+

Ok. Right. Grrr. Forget it. Not worth my time. Man. I realise I need to get a grip of myself. I need to improve my studies like hell. I'm not studying everyday, not even doing my work everyday still. Ill-disciplined bum. That's me. That's why I didn't do well for Cross too. I can't help it. I'm still thinking about it. Please don't tell me I did my best. I'm not looking for comforting words. I thank anyone who bothers anyway. I'm still annoyed. A lil numb too. I'm not sure how I should feel. I thank God for Track and Field coming up. I think even if I stopped training I'd waste my time cos it's become such a big part of my life. It's like a must-have. I'm thankful for the team finish which is my best so far, but still upset with myself. I'm fine, but not pleased with myself. What's wrong with me. Why do I keep cheating myself? When I cheat myself I cheat those around me. I should be doing my best for myself, my friends, my family, my loved ones and God. What on earth is wrong with me. Seriously.

Argh.

Man, I'm repeating myself. Ok. This post isn't helping. I'm gonna do some QT. THAT will help. It should. Always does. I'm getting off now.

Wait. I have to say this. I know I try to live up to this mantra of "Don't regret, only learn from the lesson", but darn. That's hard right now. That's hard. I'm especially hard I don't learn from it. I really wanna yell now, but I won't.

Sheesh.

Good night.,

it's over. it's final.

2007-04-18T23:20:00.000+08:00

Well. It've over. My days in the sport known as Cross-country- at least in terms of college competitions wise. I must say that I've learnt a lot and I'm definitely faster than when I started out, so I guess it's not a waste. Wait. Not guess. It is NOT a waste. Yep.

I just wanna say thank you so much to those whom have helped me along the way. Whom have trained alongside myself and fought hard. Yep. All the way since when I first started out in AC till now, in RJ with the RJ crossers, including the juniors.

I don't know. I'm glad I'm gonna be training for track and field. It'll be my final show too. My best one I'm sure. I've never done well in it so in a sense, what can get worse than that eh? I expect results though. I'm sure this cross season's laid the foundations for speedwork. My aim will be to do Nabil's time should I take 1500m and for Steeplechase, to hmmm... err at the moment do sub 10? I was really quite surprised last year when Ronghua didn't. Anyway, today's race was in many senses disappointing. RJ did not win first. I didn't either. Ha. I didn't even finish top 5. The last part of the race saw me being outsprinted by Landis (Landice? ha). Grr. Nevermind. Come track season, let's settle that. Was gonna say that to Farrell too, but apparently he's not doing. Hai. Nevermind.

The race saw RJ coming in 2nd. Quite close if I'm not wrong. We had 4,6, 12,13 they had 2, 8,9,10? Not sure. Dunno la. Hang on. See if results out ready. My dad said they were. Meaning online. Oh wait. Ok. He took photo of the results list. 2, 7, 9, 10. that's Hwa Chong. we're 4,6,11,13. 6 points. Sucks to know. Anyway, whatever. It's over. I wish I could have slept earlier. I wish I could have trained harder still. I wish, I wish, I wish. It's too late now ain't it. It's over. My Cross-country swansong. It did end with my best team finish, 2nd. However, I'll live the rest of my life knowing I could have done better. It's a really painful lesson. It was stupid. It'd be stupider not to learn anything.

Sigh. Oh well. Aquathlon this saturday. Let's do something good. Racing with Scott, this J1 swimmer, whom I found out is the son of my dad's primary school classmate. For our dad's. That'd be neat. Yep. Yep. Speaking of which, his birthday's coming up. Hah. Gonna bring him to watch Spiderman. He'll definitely enjoy it. I know it. Man. Hope he doesn't visit this place. Ha. Anyway, speaking of birthdays, since it's still the 18th April, HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAIJING. God bless and may you always always walk right with God.

Right. That's it. I'm signing off.

Night!

whee

2007-03-24T13:03:00.000+08:00

bugger. I updated my Quicktime and in order to update it, it shut down any program running Quicktime and so shut down my firefox. Grrr. Ha.

Kk. I'll make this snappy. CONGRATS KHING! on your pb of 2:04 for 800m in AC track meet. Whee. Still feeling 'grrr. stupid khing. never invite to watch' but ok. Great that you did such an awesome time. Yep. I'll have to train harder now. *=_) Ha.

Other things.... this video. If I didn't put that link, it wouldn'te be justice. Man. The middle guy is my new addition to my personal heroes list. He's good... Ha. Sweet sweet music. Hmmm. Grace would enjoy it. Think I'll show her sometime. Or personally, when I'm good enough. Not too long more I pray. Yep.

Kk. Oh wait. Yea. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THADDAEUS! (from Rj cross). Train hard, study hard and play hard! (don't just mug mug mug and study study study. RJ's not like that, despite common belief. Ahahaha)

Yep. K. Thats all for now.

Oh. Oh. Oh. One more thing. I'm reading this book now (I mean in general. not this very moment. duh o.O). Spiritual Warfare. Caijing's birthday gift to me. Not bad so far. Interesting. This stuff has always been interesting to me. Ha. Since I learnt of it in my sec 2 mission trip. Yep. Talk bout it another time.

Smile people! Don't let the burdens of this world get to ya!

Whee.

Encouraging

2007-03-12T20:30:00.000+08:00

Whoo. Ok. Short one before I go shower and stuff. Just got back from training. Kinda hit my aim times today so yea. Feeling quite good about it. Encouraged to sleep early. Ha. Haven't been. I mean, loads earlier than last year la, but still far from early. I mean, Mel sleeps at friggin 10. Not like I do real work or anything.

Hmmm. Other things.... Thanks Nivi for pointing out my mistake on Zhao Feng's Birthday date. Oh. A few more belated shout-outs.

Happy Belated Birthday on:
-15th February to Khing!! (hey dude. long time no seee man. this fri will you be there?)
-21st February to Sab!! (lol. she does NOT visit the place I'm sure but whatever.)
-10th March to Sam Chew as well as Jeanette! (I'm sure neither visit this ulu-fied place either, especially the latter) [ps: this is also one of Osama's speculated birthdates. check it out HERE ]

Yep. That's all that I can remember, so forgive me. Oh, I may as well take this chance to say

HAPPY BIRTHDAY IN ADVANCE TO ALISON, s/o ALI aka Hamster aka Airhead!

Ok. Yep. Seriously though, happy birthday to you errr.... lady? Girl? Hmmm. Kk, After tomorrow, it'll be woman at least. Ha. Lol. That's weird, calling that 0.1 cm creature a woman... Ha. Anyway, yea. Happy Birthday! May you always always walk right with God and stay loving, stay cute and stay Ally!

Yep. Alright. Gonna eat, shower then do a few PnC questions.

Night people!

A response to Marcus' post

2007-03-12T11:43:00.000+08:00

Before this post goes on in reply to one of Marcus' post, just a slight update, considering I haven't updated for over a month. I shall try do this as quickly as possible. I've got loads of work to do.

Firstly, a most most belated thanks to my wonderful class for my birthday celebrations. Although Ying Qing messed it up a lil, thanks and kudos to all of you whom put in the effort to come up with a lil guitar ensemble of sorts and playing Friends by The Rembrandts and Happy Birthday. Yep. Thanks too for the gift! Man, you all are too good to me. What did I do to deserve it? o.O I love the beanie too, Ying Qing! Special thanks goes to Aaron, to whom I know did mosta the planning. Thanks loads dude.

Ok, here's Happy Birthday to all whose Birthdays have since elapsed too (in order of occurence):

-January 27th, Michelllllle!!! (that scream's done in 'Dorothy-stlye')
-January 29th, Ying Qing!! (glad you enjoyed soccer that day, lady)
-February 7th, Grace!! (she uber-pwned at NeVeR with her self-composed 'Concerto for Two Pianos')
-February 9th, Ji Shun!!! (yea! you're even wiser now, Mr Perceptive. haha.)
-February 14th(I think...*=S), Zhao Feng!! (Mr Straight As and my "new" friend!) [thanks for the correction, Nivi. *=_) ]
-February 27th, Aaron!!! (Master! Pray you're having a good time in Malaysia now)

Right. Don't wanna talk much more, save that much has happened. Yep. An awkwardness between Aaron and self, that's since been resolved and lots of other stuff la, but I'l a-okay now. God's always more than willing to help should you ask, which brings me to reply Marcus' post now. Kk. I'll use Moca, since I know more than one Marcus.

I doubt he'll mind me posting his questions here since its on his blog, which is public. So yea. (note: the 'you' is generic, answering to my best ability, people whom have the same questions as Moca has):

Why did you create people in the first place. For your own amusement? I have to believe there's a reason why you got off your eternal contentment to create something that will cause you so much pain. Maybe all you wanted was to bask in your own glory or something. Like 'look i created something and they turned out well in the end. I'm good!' or something.

On this point, I agree with Linus that we should be glad to exist in the first place. The simple ability to enjoy is good enough- enjoy friends' company, enjoy pleasures (yes, including sex... it is a pleasure, I'm sure.) Why life is tough and painful at times is that without those pains and hurts, the rest wouldn't be 'enjoyment'. It's be "one-feelinged", monotonous. If not so, then it'd at least be much less enjoyable, something I wouldn't want. These hurdles that impede us, these obstacles are there to provide a chance to grow, to mature. As someone once said, "An obstacle is no longer one when you've overcome it." To add on to that, it's a foothold- a way to aid you to climb higher, get better.

You created us all with a purpose, one that suits YOUR purpose. Coincidence? Why bother? If you created us with no restraints whatsoever, with an outcome that even you couldn't predict, then i'd concede that maybe there is a reason for this world. An experiment of yours, if you will. Who knows if we're the only one.

But why create puppets? Because that's how i see us. We have a predetermined purpose in life and so our destiny is already there. You're all powerful so there's no way we can outrun/escape this, one way or another we're going there. How is it called free will if you already know what we're going to choose, and where we're going to end up? Where's your fun in that? It's like watching a movie where the ending is so damned predictable. You want to know what happens along the way? All our struggles and sucesses, joys and sadness, all for your own amusement?

And most importantly, why do you create puppets that question you. Puppets that want so badly to break free from their strings, even though they know they're doomed to failure on their own. Or are they? Yea, you created them. They're nowhere near as good as you, and can never be. Even the angels wern't. The devil is not a counterpart for you, he's your creation after all as well. The fact that Satan still thinks he can be better than you is laughable, pitiful, even. And maybe this statement has so much dramatic irony laden in it, only you'd know. But yea, simply because they're nowhere as powerful as you doesn't mean they're useless.

There exists two camps in discussions of predestination (which you have termed predetermination). One is that of the Calvinists and the other, the name escapes me. Basically, one believes that everything is predestined and the other doesn't. These two views are too exteremist for me. I wonder if you'd be able to see where I'm coming from, but I'll try anyway. (I wonder only because I doubt my ability to explain myself... not your ability to understand...)

I believe that yes, indeed God is ominipotent and omniscient. He is supernatural and knows all things. That leads us to sometimes ask the very famous skeptics' question, "Can God create a pie so big that He cannot finish?"

I give to everyone the resolute answer, an affirmative, "Yes, God can, but can you fathom such an occurrence?"

The famous self-contradictory question (or perhaps it should be termed a statement, since it seems to state, without giving anyone a chance to answer or reply, that "No. God cannot.") is based upon one thing: What we cannot understand or fathom, we think impossible or illogical. However, is that really necessary? Before Roger Bannister broke the 4-minute mile barrier, even scientists of his day claimed it was impossible. He still broke it, without dying like they claimed anyone who did so would. Before Phillip and Orville Wright flew for a whole 14 seconds, everyone claimed flight by man was impossible. They still flew nonetheless. What does that prove?

While it proves that we can do much more than we think and that the human body is capable of taking more than we believe it can, it serves more importantly still, to prove that until we have seen others do something, or have found something proven with empirical evidence, that more often than not and more people than not, will find that the task is impossible, unachievable. It is like talking about a Digital Camera to the Victorians. Would they understand how it works? They might believe it is a gimmick, that it is supernatural. In that fashion, some of us treat God that. Even when evidence leads us to believe and know that He is there, we refuse to believe Him or His ability.

Similarly, when we cannot understand, in our very limited human capacity what God has in store for us or planned, we doubt Him. When we cannot fathom what He is, we also doubt. Many of us whether we know it or not have this unspoken mantra: I will not believe what my eyes cannot see. Cliched as it may be, the wind is the perfect example of something that we cannot see, but which its effects we can see and thus believe it exists. As I heard somewhere once and I always quote, "For many people, to them it is about 'Seeing is believing', but for me, my God is about 'Believing and then seeing."

How all this relates to predestination is very simple. I believe that God indeed does know our every action as well as our actions of the past and the future, for He is all-knowing. Some may claim that if he wills something a certain way, that we then have no free will at all, contrary to what the Bible claims. This is in no way true to me. I believe that when we first at born into this world, some as little babies, that he truly does know whether we would end up in heaven or hell. The question then is that for those whom end up in hell, why did He choose to create them to suffer eternally.

My reply to this would be that He did not create them to go to hell. Contradiction? Fallacy? I think not. I believe that our sinful nature corrupts the very plans God mentions in Jeremiah 29:11, "...plans to propser us and not to harm us, to give us a hope and a future...". It is therefore that what should have been an easy and straigh road turns out full or detours and full of traps. Life is thus a test to see if we can manipulate around these obstacles with God's help. Without God's help, so to speak, we can indeed manipulate around some things and get through life, but the finaly obstacle requires Jesus' help. The many trials that we face are ways in which God tries to turn us back to Him. He will never put us through more that we can take (there is a Bible verse for that, but I've forgotten it. I'm sorry.) We are not created simply to go to hell. We are created for the chance to go to heaven, to enjoy living eternally. That sounds again like a contradiction and no understandable to some, since it doesn't seem like free will anymore, since God knows whether we go to hell or not. My belief, however, is that He doesn't condemn us to hell the moment we are born or salvate us (though it is available and the better option) either. What He simply does is provide a way to Heaven all the time, so that we are never condemned till we die and still have chosen to remain in our own stubborn ways. He simply 'alters' these plans he has for us as we grow up and succumb to different things of the world or as we begin to realise our reliance on Him.

The simple underlying concept behind all this is that God is supernatural, beyond our complete understanding. At each and every moment in time, he knows but doesn't condemn, simply 'alters' these plans such that there is a best plan available should we choose it.

The philosophy of your followers is such that your life should be complete once we dedicate ourselves wholly to you. That is our purpose in life. So many cliched stories echo through my mind of how 'I was once lost, but now am found', and 'knowing you has given my life purpose'. Yea, your purpose. Is that all i'm here for?

I don't want to think so. I think i have a choice of whether to obediently be your puppet, or rebel with futility, trying to do something on my own. Should I? Can I? You know, as always.

I'm nowhere near as good as you. I can't do a small fraction of the things you can. But if I could do something by myself, just some small thing. Anything. Even if you were behind it, i don't want to know. I need that feeling of having achieved something on my own.

Who'd know, that even in sin, i could be so original.

Sin is never original. Every sin, the devil's done before.

It is also true that yes, everything we achieve is because God has allowed it and thus helped us. Why should try to escape that? It's useless. This is not one thing where we cannot fathom and thus perhaps is possible. God's more powerful than we can even imagine.

Why try to do things on our own, alone when we know it is not possible? A simple example would be myself. I like to know as many things as possible, like what people say and feel; I can't always know, won't ever always know or completely know, so as Rach has once advised me, "Stop trying. You're never going to know." So I don't feel so bad when I don't, or feel so upset, simply because I know. The same way I know God is perfect and that I am not. When things don't go my way, it's because I've messed up His perfect plans for me. He has my best at heart and reliance on my own strength (which isn't even much to begin with...) will only result in a further mess of things. I'll simple trust and obey, for there's no other way.

Fight the good fight,
Finish the race,
Keep the Faith.

Some fine music

2007-01-21T10:36:00.000+08:00

Here's some music for you people to enjoy. Since school seems to already have begun being so packed, take a listen and relax.

Sex Machine by James Brown

Papa's Got A Brand New Bag by James Brown & Lenny Kravitz

Are You Gonna Go My Way by Lenny Kravitz

There. Enjoy the late 70s to early 80s funk and soul music. My latest fad since yesterday afternoon's workshop.

Arrivederci.

More thoughts

2007-01-20T23:11:00.000+08:00

I spent the day with my bro out at bugis and we kinda realised that many people get their stuff there, like it's just that we're used to shopping in malls only. Yea. Had quite a fun time. Bought myself a new belt. Haha. Yea. Bought some other things at Bras Basah too.

I'm just posting this cos we talking on the bus and the topic made me think.

So, I'm asking a question because of how I realise that on MSN I have people I don't talk to and they won't actually say hi first. I've said that I'll be the one makes the difference and bother to say hi, but that shows, doesn't it? It also makes me wonder... Should I not say hi to the people I talk to most of the time, would they say hi first?

Man this sounds reminisce of a period I was being really idiotic and trying it out on a friend to see if that person would say hi first, but this isn't. It's sincerely outta curiosity. It's not aimed at anyone, really. There's no reverse psychology here either. Nor triple, no quadruple. You get the drift.

Yea. Just wondering. We should think more about things, since it's good for us. So I try to. I won't mind replies on this.

K. Night ppl. Long day of work ahead tomorrow. I have tons due. I MUST finish em.

Buona notte.

man.

2007-01-19T21:43:00.000+08:00

Ok. I'm here just to update a lil before I shower.

First up, i failed my math retest. Sheesh. It's no consolation I did better than Sarah. We both WILL get As during the A's. Hmph. Yea. I think I'll sleep early today. Lol. That was so oops (out of point sia).

Oh. I know. Let's talk about how I got scolded by Quek for expression my fatigue after a run with yelling "AHHHH!!!"s. Lol. He was so frustrated, by ironically, it was still kinda amusing. Ha.

Hmmm. Erm. I also finally got my first copy of Pride and Prejudice.

What else. Hmmm. Oh. Some girls should seriously learn to sit properly man. Argh. Aaron's been traumatised before. Today was my turn. Man. Happened twice in one lecture as I was looking around to see if Ying Qing had arrived since she fell asleep in the library before and missed a lecture. Then lo and behold, my eyes were horribly scarred. From one of the most unexpected people too. Sigh. I also realise some guys would actually enjoy it, but man oh man, I sure as hell don't. Argh.

Had dinner today with Yi Wen and Aaron after the latter and I went to Moca's place to practise. We might try out on Monday. Supposing we do, I pray we do Smooth by Carlos Santana and Rob Thomas. I think it's doable. I'll have time to practise. Then it'd own when (being positive here) we pull it off SO well. Ha.

Ok. Lastly, I realise my temper's improved. Thank God. I don't lose my temper at my mum already. I may get somewhat annoyed but I still can reply properly or at least better than in the past. Yea. Those who pray for me, thanks. Please continue. Thanks! I realise my temper's still in control cos after being considerably annoyed today cf to any incident for quite a while, I managed to remove any annoyance. Yea. Just don't like seeing others upset or disappointed. (Yes, Aaron. Others. Generic. Non-specific.) Speaking of which, here's a shout out to Yi Wen, who's been feeling a lil blue lately (ironically, 'Blue Eyes Blue" by Clapton -Arghh, I missed his concert due to lack of funding- is playing at the moment on my comp). Cheer up okay pal? You work hard and keep it up okay? I admire your work ethic and dedication to discipline. Thanks for the inspiration. *=_)

Yea. Ok. That's bout it.

Man, this post is so disjointed save nearer to the end.

A Domani. (Hmmm. Did I get this right? Teacher! If you read this, reply! Hah.)

A new round of quizzes

2007-01-14T09:18:00.000+08:00

These came from Jishun's blog.

Your clan is a dysfunctional one. That is because you are a Malkavian. Something is poisonous about this clan's blood that drives all those embraced to madness. However, in this madness, you tend to have great insight. Unfortunately, people just take it as senseless ramblings. In every family there is an insane one. You're it.

What Vampire Clan Do You Belong To?

Mout

Ironic, tremendous internal wealth, know how to rapidly connect with others, looks for paternal authority.

Colors: male: brown, female: red carmine
Compatible Signs: Amon-Ra, Thoth
Dates: Jan 22 - Jan 31, Sep 8 - Sep 22

Role: A creator goddess, she was the mother from which the cosmos emerged.
Appearance: A woman with the wings of a vulture, holding an ankh, wearing the united crown of Upper and Lower Egypt and also a dress of bright red/blue, with the feather of Maഠat her feet
Sacred Animal: vulture

What is Your Egyptian Zodiac Sign?
Designed by CyberWarlock of Warlock's Quizzles and Quandaries

lol. Sacred animal is the vulture? wahaha.

You aren't sure where you came from. Perhaps your sire did an embrace and run. Or maybe your sire was an outcast himself. Either way, your powers are unique and really don't belong to any clan...or maybe a little from each. Because you of these circumstances, you aren't really sure where you belong. You tend to wander and do a bit of soul searching in your eternal life. Maybe some day...you have a while after all.

What Vampire Clan Do You Belong To?

that was my second try. cos i felt too many things to be varied so just one second time would do. yea. ok. gonna shower and do maths retest.

my toes

2007-01-11T23:06:00.001+08:00

check out the new Apple iPhone. lol. I'm not really that impressed, but man, it's quite interesting and different; until everyone starts getting one that is.

Anyway, just wanted to put that up. I'm waiting for my MF15 to print, so I can do my math retest tomorrow. I'd better at minimal pass.

I think I'll just share how your toes are important man. If buses didn't have brushes at the bottom of their doors, mine would be gone. The bus' doors closed on em.

Lol. Finally, I'm free! Free from being hassled by those thoughts. Hmmm. Then again, I kinda miss em, although this freedom is kinda good. I still can think them when I CHOOSE to, so I can study properly.

Ok. Printing's done. Night!

A thought

2007-01-08T22:25:00.000+08:00

On the way home, after an interesting talk with Steph about the future and our faith in God, I realised something. She mentioned how she still can't have like the ability to commit everything to Him and allow Him sovereignty in everything. (Sorry Steph, if I wasn't supposed to share this, but I think should be fine right? o.O)I then realised how hard it is for people to trust Him, but put it in another perspective. He's given you the chance to surrender it all on you own accord. That's better than saying He's gonna take it all away right. You surrendering everything also prepares you (though it can never completely prepare you) should that ever happen.

Ok. Final point. I was nearing my home when I realised this: "I would give up my life this very moment if every person I know or would come to, knows Him. I would give up everything- what I could be, what I have and what I might have. My friendships, my future, my feelings, my everything."

I'm just wondering:
1. Would I do that for any single person?
2. Would any single person die for me?
3. How many of you would give you lives for others?

Please respond. I'd really like to know.

Goodnight.

Just another day

2007-01-07T20:37:00.000+08:00

Alright. I hope this is gonna be brief, since I have an econs essay outline to do that's due tomorrow and I have to do it since I'm on a mission to be my best for God and since I don't want Lagman breathing down my neck. Yep.

Yesterday, I went to library to meet Rach and it was fun. Hah. We only got one essay outline done in 2 hours plus and so were really unproductive, but hell, it made her feel better. Yea. I was trying to get these two songs up yesterday but the internet of my neighbour was dying on me so yea. Don't get me wrong. I'd rather use my own internet, but when it keeps showing me "limited or no connectivity" it does get annoying. Yea.

Anyway, before I put the songs down, I'll just talk about some stuff today. First, the sermon in church was applicable, really applicable and something struck me. The answer's really simple, to my problem that is. My problem is that while I don't like being insecure and feeling inferior to others, I do and it annoys me because I know I shouldn't and I don't want to. It's annoying so yea, but Pastor Khong in his most-recent non-theological sermon (if some of you are wondering how a sermon can be non-theological, then it's cos today's about the aims for the church for this year and how to let it be what the theme is: Year of Victory) mentioned that "In Jesus we have the victory, victory over envy, over jealous, over inferiority..." (not the exact words, but the exact meaning) and it justs reminds me how cool God really is, speaking to me when I've not really been that close to Him. It'd all the more cool since I've heard from Him in these sort of manners twice in three days since cell group on Friday when I decided I'm gonna get serious (or more serious) with Him.

For after service stuff, I went to Kinokuniya to check out if they had something I've been looking for and I found it. Cool. So if I decide to ship it (cos I think it's cheaper wherever I found it online) and it doesn't arrive, I can go get one to use first. Neat. I got stuck at Kino though, reading a newly-discovered magazine I found highly interesting. It's called Pyschology Today. Makes me think I might do a Psychology degree after my initial dual-majors (I pray I achieve this). Perhaps if I could afford it comfortably, I'd study my whole life- not to rack up a whole list of credentials (well... maybe partially) but because I truly believe in life-long learning.

Ok. Said my piece.

Here, Rach. Two songs just for you.

Better Days by Goo Goo Dolls

And you ask me what I want this year
And I try to make this kind and clear
Just the chance that maybe we'll find better days
Cause I don't need boxes wrapped in strings
And designer love and empty things
Just the chance that maybe we'll find better days
So take these words and sing out loud
Cause everyone is forgiven now
Cause tonight's the night the world begins again
I need someplace simple where we can live
And something only you can give
And that's faith and trust and peace while we're alive
And the one poor Child who saved this world
And there's ten million more who probably could
If we all just stopped and said a prayer for them
So take these words and sing out loud
Cause everyone is forgiven now
Cause tonight's the night the world begins again
I wish everyone was loved tonight
And somehow stop this endless fight
Just the chance that maybe we'll find better days
So take these words and sing out loud
Cause everyone is forgiven now
Cause tonight's the night the world begins again
Cause tonight's the night the world begins again

(Man. When I viewed the lyrics before I pasted it, I realised it starts with 'And' adn I was thinking "Haha. Improper sentence. It shouldn't be starting with an 'And' ". Wonder if I was always like this, or maybe its the RJ effect. Lol. Doubt it though, always been a partial weirdy. Man, I like that word, "weirdy". Weirdo just don't cut it as much. Ha. Doing it again. Kk. I'll shut up and do us all a favour.)

Hole In The Head by Sugababes

Seven hours since you went away
Eleven coffees, Rickki Lake on play
But late at night when I'm feeling blue
I'd sell my ass before I think of you
Seven hours since you closed the door
Started a diet, got a manicure
Erased your number from my telephone
And if you call me I won't be at home
They say
Bridge
Why you cry-y-y
For the guy-y-y?
Say goodbye
Run away
Why you cry-y-y
For the guy-y-y?
Say goodbye
I said ok, 'cause...
Chorus
Ooh, boy you miss me like a hole in the head
Because I do boy,
And it's cool boy
And ooh, bet you never thought I'd get out of bed
Because of you boy,
Such a fool boy
Eleven hours on a brand new day
I'm getting ready to go out and play
It's late at night, I'm caught in a groove
I'd kiss my ass before I'm feeling blue
Seven hours, what you calling for?
A bunch of flowers and I slam the door
You're in my face, sorry what's your name?
Takes more than begging to reverse my brain
cuz...
Chorus
Ooh, boy you miss me like a hole in the head
Because I do boy,
And it's cool boy
And ooh, bet you never thought I'd get out of bed
Because of you boy,
Such a fool boy
I'm through with it
Over it
Not having it
Crazy sh*t
Not feeling this
intiliquit
No more, No more
I'm through with it
Not having it
This crazy sh*t
Not feeling it
Can't deal with it
No more, I quit
No more, no more
Breaking off the buns
A brand new day has just begun
Just because you made me go "ooh"
Doesn't mean I'll put up with you
Don't you dare come back
Can't u see I wont take that?
I ain't crying over you
Better fill your head up like I told you
Bridge
Why you cry-y-y
For the guy-y-y?
Say goodbye
Run away
Why you cry-y-y
For the guy-y-y?
Say goodbye
I said ok, cuz...
Chorus
Ooh, boy you miss me like a hole in the head
Because I do boy,
And it's cool boy
And ooh, bet you never thought I'd get out of bed
Because of you boy,
Such a fool boy (such a fool)
Chorus
Ooh, boy you miss me like a hole in the head
Because I do boy (I do)
And it's cool boy (yeah it's cool)
And ooh, bet you never thought I'd get out of bed
Because of you boy, (I do boy)
Such a fool boy (such a fool)
da da da da da da
da da da da da da
da da da da da da
Run Away
da da da da da da
da da da da da da
da da da da da da
i said ok cuz
da da da da da da
da da da da da da
da da da da da da
Run Away

Man. That last song brings back some memories, though if fond or not, I'm not certain. Nette had it on her blog after I told her it wasn't possible and stopped it before it got out of control.

K. Gonna eat. Then shower and try do the econs essay outline.

Night people.

Buona notte.

Post dedicated to Rach

2007-01-06T12:42:00.000+08:00

Hey there people. Taking a lil time off before I go prepare to meet Rachel for lunch and try to get some work done. We've got econs to do, so yea. I mean, perhaps it's no help that we're both darn bad at it (for now), but whatever. I'm going to live out life exactly the way God told me I should 2-3 years ago- to be a blessing and positive example to those around me.

What was said during cell last night was wonderful and exactly in line with that. It's a wonderful way to start the new year. The first cell group meeting of the year and God reminds me of what He told me and so I'll remember it all the more so faithfully.

Zechariah 3:10 (NKJV):
" 'In that day,' saith the LORD of hosts, `shall ye call every man his neighbor under the vine and under the fig tree.' "

Or in a modern version (which btw, Bono of U2 reads),

Zechariah 3:10 (The Message):
" 'At that time, everyone will get along with one another, with friendly visits across the fence, friendly visits on one another's porches.' "

How this relates is I feel that Rach could do with some help now, so I think I'll just be the blessing I can be, the biggest one at that. I ask that those whom read this and know Rach just be there for her. Thanks.

Here, Rach, what I said I'd do.

'Firsts' of 2006 that are linked to Rachel
1. First time I found anyone my age whom I think their voice (in terms of pitch and power) pwns
2. First time I've been a lady's pet (I'm her dog, not cos she makes me do things for her though. I can't even remember how it came about. Also, specifically lady because JT's called me his dog before. Ha. Unless of course.... lol)
3. First time I've been bitten (ironic huh. The mistress bites the dog. o.O) on both my shoulders and one of my knees.
4. First time I've seen an evolution, no wait. Transformation (evolution makes her sound like she was a monkey or an ape when I met her) of a person in the course of a year.(she's more feminine now)
5. First time I've met someone who has slept in a GP test. (I've the picture to prove it! Although unfortunately it's not on this comp, my sis' comp, so I'll upload it another time. Yep.)

Alrighties. I'm gonna shower and then go meet Rach now.

Oh wait, almost forgot. Or rather, forgot then remembered, that my intention was to bless you all (you can use this no matter whether you're Christian or not) with this I received in the email from my aunty. The one with whom I went for lunch that day.

The 7-Ups!

1. Wake Up !!!

Decide to have a good day.

"This is the day the Lord hath made; let us rejoice and be glad in it."

Psalms 118:24

(I think those who haven't woken up to the fact that this is A levels year, you should WAKE UP!!! too.)

2. Dress Up !!

The best way to dress up is to put on a smile.

A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

"The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7

(In line of this year being themed with the idea of "Love thy neighbour as thyself", dress up for your friends and loved ones too!)

3. Shut Up!!

Say nice things and learn to listen.

God gave us two ears and one mouth, so He must have meant for us to do twice as much listening as talking. (It doesn't mean you keep quiet all the time yea? People like myself love to hear the views of others, plus conversation allows for better friendships it used properly)

"He who guards his lips guards his soul." Proverbs 13:3

4. Stand Up!!

. . . for what you believe in.

Stand for something or you will fall for anything.

"Let us not be weary in doing good; for at the proper time, we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good..."

Galatians 6:9-10

5. Look Up !!

. . . to the Lord.

"I can do everything through Christ who strengthens me".

Philippians 4:13

(lol. Adidas isn't the solution despite their slogan of 'Impossible is Nothing')

6. Reach Up !!

. . . for something higher.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart,and lean not unto your own understanding.In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will direct yourpath."

Proverbs 3:5-6

7. Lift Up !!

. . . your Prayers.

"Do not worry about anything; instead PRAY ABOUT EVERYTHING."

Philippians 4:6

(this works. Trust me.)

A POSITIVE THOUGHT

If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.

If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it.

He sends you flowers every spring, and a sunrise every morning.

Whenever you want to talk, He'll listen.

He could live anywhere in the universe, and He chose your heart.

What about the Christmas gift He sent you in Bethlehem; not to mention that Friday at Calvary.

Face it, He's crazy about you.

I thought this was mighty special, just like you.

Pass this on and brighten someone's day(that's why I pasted it here)

and remember...

God answers Knee-Mail!

Cheers people.

Sayonara!

Man, this has to be a short post.

2007-01-04T20:03:00.000+08:00

OK. Just here for a lil update on how school's been for me so far. It's coming to the end of the second day since school resumed and I'm glad to say, I'm still alive, though I can't say with all confidence that I'll last this year (yes, Yi Wen, if you're reading this, it means that too, though not as much as I'm resolved to being quite passive. I have the time, right? Also, no rushing, eh?)

My latest day (without training) ends by 2:20pm, so that's great. I finish by 11:30am on Venedi (Friday) and so I think that's quite good. It's all thanks to cutting down little little bits of time like 5 mins from each period given to get about to the venue and being late is mostly prevented, I guess, by how we kinda have home rooms! HA. To those in RJ, my home room's B33! Drop by and say hi, man. (The man could refer to me or be an expression alone. Ha)

Yea. It's kinda cool to be back in schol after such a long time I guess. I'm looking forward to getting my brain awakee again. In the past year it's been asleep so I nearly got retained, by thank goodness that lil part of it which was awake was enough to help me advance (I can't say promote, that's a disgrace). Yea. I'm looking forward to scoring well again, so when better than this year, the A levels year?

I've got 2 new teachers. Brian Lagman Ang Peng Siong (I don't think he can even swim man. Lol. Wait, who am I to say anything. ha) and Mrs Tan, both replacing Mrs Pearly Ng and Mrs Kong respectively. Lagman Ang pwned in class today man. He came in and whacked us with 5 essay outlines by next thursday and went through more in one lesson than Pearly did during 4-5. I'm not saying she was a lousy teacher, we just made it hard for her last year and he's just better. Mrs Kong's going on maternity leave, so it can't be helped, but no big deal I guess since the new teacher seems fine too. Maths teachers are as someone mentioned today, can't remember who, mostly nice, partial I guess due to the fact that they have to be patient with those slower ones.

Alright. I'm nearly done.

Just two more paragraphs. Ha. It's been nice seeing classmates whom I haven't seen for nearly 2 months, since immediately after Oral Presentation for Project Work. (which I heard that if you're really good, they'll ask you to redo and they'll film it. also, it happens if you're really bad too. So others can see what NOT to do. I happen to think we did real well, but since no one asked us to redo, I'll just assume that since RJ's so pro, that they had more than enough videos. Ha. Lol.)

Finally, just to share, the bus ride home was interesting. The bus was a 162 and looked pretty normal from outside. I just boarded when I saw the number, didn't see the exterior. When I got in, I was in for a lil surprise. It was the Nokia Music Bus, commemorating the music phone they launched, the 5300. It had music playing and the rows were flanked with leather (faux leather I believe, duh) seats that were white. Not in the normal fashion either. They faced both inwards. They also had those seats you see Tom Jones and Will Smith sitting on on the cover of MIB ads or DVD covers. (wait, was it Tom Jones? Dunno. Nvm, you get the idea), but white and felt-like. Then they had like bar seats with mini tables. Interesting idea, though the sound system has much to be improved upon, with the thingamajig kinda messing up ever so often. I heard American Idiot by Green Day on getting up, then it changed to Where'd You Go by Fort Minor (ft. Holly Brooks) and then finally How Do I Live by I dunno who (lol. no that's not the artist.)Interesting la. Yep. Singapore's got some cool ideas. Man, the last two sentences felt so advertisement-like.

Alright! Updates' done! I'm outta here. I've been on the comp WAY long. nearly 50 mins I think.

Sayonara!

2007-01-02T11:01:00.000+08:00

I think I'll incorporate music into my blog too. I've been a member of radioblogclub for a while but not utilised it, so whats the point. I'll use it. Yea. Let's start with a few songs. Hope I don't take too long. I've got maths that needs my attention.

I'm now adding in this that these songs are kinda love songs, emo songs cos I've been getting this word from God that 2007 is a good year to love others. Not that you shouldn't love others all the time, it's just that I get the word that this year's theme is love. So yea.

Someone once remarked to me that they can't be comfortable around everyone in silence, that between some people, silence is marked by awkwardness. However, this song's to the fact that silence between us is perfectly fine, acceptable and even better still, enjoyable.

Enjoy The Silence by Depeche Mode (here covered by Anberlin)


Words like violence
Break the silence
Come crashing in
Into my little world
Painful to me
Pierce right through me
Can't you understand
Oh my little girl

All I ever wanted
All I ever needed
Is here in my arms
Words are very unnecessary
They can only do harm

Vows are spoken
To be broken
Feelings are intense
Words are trivial
Pleasures remain
So does the pain
Words are meaningless
And forgettable

All I ever wanted
All I ever needed
Is here in my arms
Words are very unnecessary
They can only do harm

All I ever wanted
All I ever needed
Is here in my arms
Words are very unnecessary
They can only do harm

Enjoy the silence

This somewhat reflects what I could be like next time, though I pray not. This one is to Nivi since I sent her the song before.

A Day Late by Anberlin

so let me get this straight
say now you loved me all along?
what made you hesitate
to tell me with words what you really feel
i can see it in your eyes you mean all of what you say
i remember so long ago, see i felt that same way
now we both have separate lives and lovers (and lovers)
insignificantly enough we both have significant others

only time will tell
time will turn and tell

we are who we were when
could've been lovers but at least you're still my day late friend
we are who
we are who we were when
who knew what we know now
could've been more but at least you're still my day late friend
we are who
we are who we were when

but thoughts they change and times they rearrange i don't know who you are anymore
loves come and go and this i know i'm not who you recall anymore
but i must confess you're so much more then i remember
can't help but entertain these thoughts
thoughts of us together

we are who we were when
could've been lovers but at least you're still my day late friend
we are who
we are who we were when
who knew what we know now
could've been more but at least you're still my day late friend
we are who
we are who we were when

my day late friend

so let me get this straight
all these years and you were no where to be found
and now you want me for your own
but you're a day late and my love,she's still renowned
we are who we were when
could've been lovers but at least you're still my day late friend
we are who
we are who we were when
who knew what we know now
could've been more but at least you're still my day late friend
we are who
we are who we were when

so let me get this straight
all these years and you were no where to be found
and now you want me for your own
but you're a day late and my love,she's still renowned
we are who we were when
could've been lovers but at least you're still my day late friend
we are who
we are who we were when
who knew what we know now
could've been more but at least you're still my day late friend
we are who
we are who we were when

I don't know if this next song is blasphemous, but I'm taking the interpretation that God provides people for us to love and trust (as th song can be taken to mean) and since (as I said earlier) I get the impression from God that 2007 is a year to be filled with love for others, this song's quite suitable. Man. Just found out that Marilyn Manson covered this song too. Hmmm. Hope it's alright still...

Personal Jesus - Depeche Mode (here covered by Johnny Cash)
[speaking of Johnny Cash, I think he's really cool so I'll put a song by him. I just read bout him. Interesting character. I also can't find the original Depeche Mode song, so I wonder how it sounds like.... meanwhile, this one ain't too bad I think.]

Reach out and touch faith

Your own personal Jesus
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who cares
Your own personal Jesus
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who's there

Feeling unknown
And you're all alone
Flesh and bone
By the telephone
Lift up the receiver
I'll make you a believer

Take second best
Put me to the test
Things on your chest
You need to confess
I will deliver
You know I'm a forgiver

Reach out and touch faith
Reach out and touch faith

Your own personal Jesus
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who cares
Your own personal Jesus
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who's there

Feeling unknown
And you're all alone
Flesh and bone
By the telephone
Lift up the receiver
I'll make you a believer
I will deliver
You know I'm a forgiver

Reach out and touch faith

Your own personal Jesus

Reach out and touch faith
Reach out and touch faith
Reach out and touch faith
Reach out and touch faith

Reach out and touch faith
Reach out, reach out
Reach out and touch faith



Here's the last song since I've spent ages listening to songs and reading stuff online. Better hurry. Not a good way to start new year, with poor discipline...

I Walk The Line by Johnny Cash

I keep a close watch on this heart of mine
I keep my eyes wide open all the time
I keep the ends out for the tie that binds
Because you're mine, I walk the line

I find it very, very easy to be true
I find myself alone when each day is through
Yes, I'll admit that I'm a fool for you
Because you're mine, I walk the line

As sure as night is dark and day is light
I keep you on my mind both day and night
And happiness I've known proves that it's right
Because you're mine, I walk the line

You've got a way to keep me on your side
You give me cause for love that I can't hide
For you I know I'd even try to turn the tide
Because you're mine, I walk the line

I keep a close watch on this heart of mine
I keep my eyes wide open all the time
I keep the ends out for the tie that binds
Because you're mine, I walk the line

Just to add some music.

2007-01-02T08:53:00.000+08:00

Enjoy The Silence by Depeche Mode (here covered by Anberlin)


Words like violence
Break the silence
Come crashing in
Into my little world
Painful to me
Pierce right through me
Can't you understand
Oh my little girl

All I ever wanted
All I ever needed
Is here in my arms
Words are very unnecessary
They can only do harm

Vows are spoken
To be broken
Feelings are intense
Words are trivial
Pleasures remain
So does the pain
Words are meaningless
And forgettable

All I ever wanted
All I ever needed
Is here in my arms
Words are very unnecessary
They can only do harm

All I ever wanted
All I ever needed
Is here in my arms
Words are very unnecessary
They can only do harm

Enjoy the silence

This somewhat reflects what I could be like next time, though I pray not. This one is to Nivi since I sent her the song before.

A Day Late by Anberlin

so let me get this straight
say now you loved me all along?
what made you hesitate
to tell me with words what you really feel
i can see it in your eyes you mean all of what you say
i remember so long ago, see i felt that same way
now we both have separate lives and lovers (and lovers)
insignificantly enough we both have significant others

only time will tell
time will turn and tell

we are who we were when
could've been lovers but at least you're still my day late friend
we are who
we are who we were when
who knew what we know now
could've been more but at least you're still my day late friend
we are who
we are who we were when

but thoughts they change and times they rearrange i don't know who you are anymore
loves come and go and this i know i'm not who you recall anymore
but i must confess you're so much more then i remember
can't help but entertain these thoughts
thoughts of us together

we are who we were when
could've been lovers but at least you're still my day late friend
we are who
we are who we were when
who knew what we know now
could've been more but at least you're still my day late friend
we are who
we are who we were when

my day late friend

so let me get this straight
all these years and you were no where to be found
and now you want me for your own
but you're a day late and my love,she's still renowned
we are who we were when
could've been lovers but at least you're still my day late friend
we are who
we are who we were when
who knew what we know now
could've been more but at least you're still my day late friend
we are who
we are who we were when

so let me get this straight
all these years and you were no where to be found
and now you want me for your own
but you're a day late and my love,she's still renowned
we are who we were when
could've been lovers but at least you're still my day late friend
we are who
we are who we were when
who knew what we know now
could've been more but at least you're still my day late friend
we are who
we are who we were when

Reach out and touch faith

Your own personal Jesus
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who cares
Your own personal Jesus
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who's there

Feeling unknown
And you're all alone
Flesh and bone
By the telephone
Lift up the receiver
I'll make you a believer

Take second best
Put me to the test
Things on your chest
You need to confess
I will deliver
You know I'm a forgiver

Reach out and touch faith
Reach out and touch faith

Your own personal Jesus
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who cares
Your own personal Jesus
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who's there

Feeling unknown
And you're all alone
Flesh and bone
By the telephone
Lift up the receiver
I'll make you a believer
I will deliver
You know I'm a forgiver

Reach out and touch faith

Your own personal Jesus

Reach out and touch faith
Reach out and touch faith
Reach out and touch faith
Reach out and touch faith

Reach out and touch faith
Reach out, reach out
Reach out and touch faith



Here's the last song since I've spent ages listening to songs and reading stuff online. Better hurry. Not a good way to start new year, with poor discipline...

I Walk The Line by Johnny Cash

I keep a close watch on this heart of mine
I keep my eyes wide open all the time
I keep the ends out for the tie that binds
Because you're mine, I walk the line

I find it very, very easy to be true
I find myself alone when each day is through
Yes, I'll admit that I'm a fool for you
Because you're mine, I walk the line

As sure as night is dark and day is light
I keep you on my mind both day and night
And happiness I've known proves that it's right
Because you're mine, I walk the line

You've got a way to keep me on your side
You give me cause for love that I can't hide
For you I know I'd even try to turn the tide
Because you're mine, I walk the line

I keep a close watch on this heart of mine
I keep my eyes wide open all the time
I keep the ends out for the tie that binds
Because you're mine, I walk the line

It's 2007!

2007-01-01T10:48:00.000+08:00

Alrighties. Posted something on the class blog and I'm here to post something of my own. I think in this post I'll do what Jishun requested because I think it's a good way to start of the New Year. That will be how I end my post though, so for now, here's the usual. A few resolutions (something I haven't seen in anyone else's blog yet, so maybe not that usual anymore), a few aims and a few prayer wishes.

A few resolutions
-To read the bible everday
-To love others more than myself
-To learn to truly be selfless
-To respect my friends, my parents, my loved ones, myself and my God
-To grow sensitive to His voice
-To give my best in everything
-To develop discipline
-To grow in Faith
-To be early, not late or just on time
-To keep my words to others
-To not disappoint others
-To be a positive example to others
-To study diligently
-To practise guitar daily, even if only for half an hour mininmally
-To be accoutable to God for all my actions

(Darn. I am really imperfect. So many things to work on. Thanks all the more to my friends, family, loved ones whom put up with my deficiencies!)

A few aims
-To get 4As, A1 for GP, A1 (or is it Band 1 or just A? Hmm) for PW
-To help the RJ cross team to recover its Championship title
-To better my secondary 4 ranking in the Inter-School Cross Country Championships
-To help the RJ Track and Field team become Champions
-To be able to play guitar a whole lot better (I mean a WHOLE lot better)

A few Prayer Wishes
-To become someone whom God can utilise greatly
-To become a positive example to others
-To become the person whom I wish to be
-To be able to manage my time excellently
-To be able to juggle my studies, CCAs and relationships with utmost care
-To be able to discern with wisdom
-To be able to hear God's voice, to obey Him

Alright, that's the end of that. Before I go on to do a list of 'firsts' which is Jishun's wish for those whom read his post that day, here's a quote from Jane Austen in her famous Pride & Prejudice (which thank God I've finished):
"Think only of the past as its remembrance gives you pleasure." My sentiments somewhat, as I think that I like to remember not only the good, but the not so good times, as it shows that I'm able to go through such periods of testing in the friendships I have, that I'm able to be a friend that isn't there only when the weather is fair and fine. To those whom I have shared such not so good moments, whether it's between ourselves or it's between yourselves and others and I'm just there to do my part as a friend and keep you going, it's been my pleasure, most definitely and I'm glad I had the honour of getting to know you all better.

Now for my list of 'firsts':
1. My first time being in a R-A-F-F-L-E-S family.
2. My first time being in a co-ed school (unless you count kindergarten)
3. My first time doing so badly for National Cross-Country Championships (I pray it'll be the only time too)
4. My first time actually talking to Rafflesians and making friends with them.
5. My first time changing classes and stream (from 07S03N in Science, to 07A01D in Arts)
6. My first time doing SOVA (Study of Visual Arts)
7. My first time doing so badly in a major exam (recall those subpasses?)
8. My first time worrying about promotion.
9. My first time being so close to my class.
10. My first time wanting to be so close to my class.
11. My first time away from my AC friends.
12. My first time doing a Vertical Marathon.
13. My first time winning a Vertical Marathon.
14. My first time meeting someone who's stayed in Italy.
15. My first time actually learning Italian, even if only a bit.
16. My first time meeting someone who supposedly looks like a Chinaman but who speaks French and whose Chinese is worse than mine.
17. My first time seeing someone's girlfriend getting pissed off at them.
18. My first time seeing Subway have a stall in school.
19. My first time singing the Raffles school song.
20. My first time being proud of being in Raffles.
21. My first time being really glad I'm in Raffles and not AC.
22. My first time eating at a columbarium (did I even spell that right?)
23. My first time to New Zealand.
24. My first time on a tour group.
25. My first time making a friend on a tour group.
26. My first time buying Christmas presents for so many people.
27. My first time I spent nearly 40 bucks on a single Christmas present. (although for birthdays I've spent way more)
28. My first time playing more Basketball than Soccer for a period of time.
29. My first time going to and AC play as not a member of the AC family.
30. My first time preferring a Rafflesian play to and AC one (it really WAS a LOT better)
31. My first time sending people home, walking them all the way home. (Ying Qing, Grace, Caijing, Steph-okay la, this one she took a cab so not walking her home la, Audrey-lol. she stays so near me. i think was in that order too)
32. My first time being so scared any single person would not talk to me again after offending them.
33. My first time having an OGL.
34. My first time dribbling and then scoring, I think. I can only recall 'push-and-runs' before 2006 and if I tried in any way to dribble, I'd surely lose the ball and definitely not score. This 'first' applies to both soccer and basketball.
35. My first time buying so many flowers in a year.
36. My first time dropping off flowers (ok. it was a single flower) at someone's home.
37. My first time going out with my cousins from my Grandaunt's side. Prior to this, it was one cousin. Not all of them from that side of the family.
38. My first time talking to any cousin online.
39. My first time thinking that a family dinner wasn't so bad afterall.
40. My first time having more than one classmate give me Christmas presents.
41. My first time having a classmate in the same Church.
42. My first time having Cross-Country teamates in the same Church.
43. My first time having a cell member.
44. My first time having brought classmates to Church.
45. My first time having been to Aaron's place.
46. My first time having been to Jing Wen's place.
47. My first time editing a video (did it for PW and it's not all that shoddy. people enjoyed it too! not just my PW group)
48. My first time doing PW with ladies. (I call them ladies because I respect them)
49. My first time running for Raffles.
50. My first time auditioning for a performance (that sucked, remember)
51. My first time auditioning for a CCA.
52. My first time I tried for TSD (got in but didn't take it up)
53. My first time being complimented on my guitar-playing (even though it really doesn't deserve it)
54. My first time taking two music lessons at once.
55. My first time liking classical music properly, I think.
56. My first time being able to play a classical piece that I thought looked insane and which isn't at all.
57. My first time sending a friend off for a holiday.
58. My first time remembering more than half my classmates' mobile numbers.
59. My first time remembering a classmates' mum's mobile number (yes Mich, your honour).
60. My first time hearing someone say that the idea of being a 'mini Scarlett (Johansson)' is bad (again, Mich's honour. and no, I'm not stating the reason why).
61. My first time hearing of someone who wants to be a Cop not to protect, but to be able to shoot people.
62. My first time hearing of such a thing as an Anthropologist.
63. My first time hearing that kids are hellspawn.
64. My first time being teased at (thank Aaron for this. and it has no basis) for having a large appendage in front of ladies.
65. My first time being able to at least somewhat define what I consider 'liking someone'.
66. My first time bothering to stay up to watch World Cup matches.
67. My first time supporting both teams in the World Cup final.
68. My first time getting a boner cos of a classmate being too close and squirming about. (that sounds wrong but it'd too bothersome to explain)
69. My first time apologising to people for weird things my mind might do to them.
70. My first time being able to explain as to why I'm weird (my mind and heart ask me to do separate things and I have both thought processes).
71. My first time 'getting into touble' because of explaining the thought processes which my heart and my mind undergo.
72. My first time seeing my primary 6 best friend being attached and then unattached again.
73. My first time playing in a soccer tournament (which we did not deserve to be kicked out so early).
74. My first time buying so 'many' items of clothing.
75. My first time playing goalkeeper in a soccer tournament (we lost cos I let a goal in, even if it were a defensive error).
76. My first time playing soccer against Jing Wen's brother's friends.
77. My first time playing soccer for Faith Methodist Church.
78. My first time playing soccer in a 90-minute match and scoring.
79. My first time playing soccer at a halfway house.
80. My first time wishing a family holiday could be longer.
81. My first time running in an overseas country.
82. My first time seeing a girl cause an 'injury' at soccer.
83. My first time seeing girls play soccer.
84. My first time helping out at Pathlight.
85. My first time I've met someone so scare of library books cos their dirty and really really will not use public toilets at all (yes, that's Sindhura Kalidas, ex-classmate and alcoholic? haha. jk, even though she got kinda tipsy at the senior class party).
86. My first time running with Yi Wen.
87. My first time someone's unofficial boyfriend asks me to take his unofficial girlfriend home. (that's Yu Juin and Enli)
88. My first time being complimented and then when I reply to the compliment saying that it doesn't seem true due to certain circumstances, being mock scolded and being told 'Don't insult my judgement k'.
89. My first time I went on a cruise.
90. My first time being mistaken for a professional photographer (happened on the cruise, because I was taking photos at the couples party my parents attended).
91. My first time I read no more than 5 books that are not part of the syllabus in a year (I think this is true and it is unfortunate that it is true).
92. My first time that I have heard of someone who has asked all their classmates out on dates.
93. My first time that I enjoyed movie not because it was good, but because of the company.
94. My first time I tried feeding someone and the person not eating.
95. My first time having a class stayover in a hotel room, a 'Grand Room' at that.
96. My first time attending supporting a classmate at a concert in Victoria Concert Hall and then embarassingly falling asleep and drooling even, after his pieces were through.
97. My first time bothering to dress up for a school play.
98. My first time I've done hill intervals.
99. My first time I've done 18km for training.
100. My first time I've received plaques for Christmas presents, both Christian and quite nice.
101. My first time I've received conditioner for a Christmas present. (lol. quite funny. but it's cos I mentioned my hair's kinda dry before I guess. ha)

Man. That took a long time. I wasn't intending to do so many. Ha. I was gonna put the 18km thingum for the last one, but I thought it goes with the hill intervals, so put it there. Plus, the last 2 are neat, so it's a good way to end off. There. My 'first's of 2006 are the first thing I've done in 2007.

Here's wishing all of you a God-blessed New Year.

Arrivederci.

Post -"Final Class Outing" Debrief

2006-12-30T19:40:00.000+08:00

For once I'm pasting from the class blog my post instead of the other way round. Here's the post on the class stayover. I'm finally incorporating photos into my blog, I think. I still can only do it via the add photo thingum, which means on Macs I can't, or at least not on mine, since it's old, so yea. Those who're interested, read on; if not, sorry for wasting your time. Thanks.

This post is simply to thank all those whom came down to the Swissotel Stamford yesterday to have a blast. To those who couldn't make it, I'm sorry, but you really missed out. I'd firstly like to extend my thanks to those whom made it down and allowed for myself to have a great end to this year which has been made wonderful by you people yourselves. I enjoyed myself playing Monopoly (never been that fun before), Twister (man that hurt and I tore my new pants, but hecK) and Boggle (i'm really not that good). It was really great to see all of you again, with half of you all having disappeared overseas (people like myself, aaron, yi wen, ying qing, nivi) and not having seen all of you for whatever various reasons.

I pray you all enjoyed yourselves as much as I did, even if I left for a while. Yep. Oh, please do thank Aaron for the lovely room. (It was quite nice, no?) He paid for it. I didn't pay a cent. So thank him, yea.

Here's the guy who made this thing possible or else staying over would be hell. Thanks lots dude!

Here's Rachel cam whoring a lil.

Here's a lil of me. Ha. No comments please.
(I didn't take this picture. Rach did)

Here's Yi Wen, in his Playboy-eqsue bathrobe outfit. What a sight for those who just came then.

Ying Qing in her "I've made it" outfit and also looking Jap-ish.

Myself, Nivi and Jishun.

Group shot!

Playing Upwords...

Some later fell downwards... while playing twister.
(Yes. Pun intended. Upwords followed by downwards)

Here's Ying Qing making a new butty...

Later on, it was my turn as well...

Ok... So MAYBE, just MAYBE I got to know the butty better...

Of course Twister involved some twisting...

Another group photo!
(With the two who won Monopoly. Yes. It was only after merging. Haha. Kk. Whatever. Don't matter. Had fun.)

There. That was some of the fun we had.

Finally, to end this post, just a thought.
I wonder what Marcus was doing here...

THANKS 07AO1D, YOU ALL ROCK.

I STONE.

just a lil list of thanks-bes-to

2006-12-25T09:11:00.000+08:00

It's Christmas! The year is coming to a close soon and it'd a good day to have a yell-out to all my pals and buddies. Here's a list. I pray I get enough people in it. Even if at the end, you don't find your name despite your being a gd-friend, please don't send me a black Christmas stocking, unless it's the pantyhose of a Santerina or it's like your Goth version of Christmas. haha. Yea well anyway, here I go.

GOD:
Thanks Lord. You've let me settle nicely into a new environment and although I didn't study for my promos and was neither conscientious in my work nor exemplary in school, you were still merciful enough for me to get promoted. It may be nothing to others, but it was so so so relieving for me. Thanks. I also thank you for the splendid times that lie ahead. I remember clearly your warning to me about 3 months ago that times ahead are difficult, but with you as my guiding light, I know I won't be floundering about. You will keep me path staight and sure. Thanks for everything.

FAMILY:
Thanks be to all of you for helping me develop my character. Thanks to my dad and mum for you putting up with my nonsense. I've done things that you both don't like, but I pray you'll forgive me of them. I will strive to be a better son to both of you. Thanks to Su Re and Wen Hsin (my bro and sis). Thanks Su for listening when mum gets on my nerves and I need someone to talk to. Thank Wen Hsin, for being a gd bro and for all your advice. Let's do our best to make our family a harmonious one. Thanks Mum, Thanks Dad, for working so hard and allowing me to have my 3 meals a day. I feel I take that for granted sometimes.

FRIENDS:
In general first, thanks for all being inspirations to me in different ways and being wonderfulwonderfulwonderful blessings to me and helping me whenever I need it. Thanks so very much. Now in alphabetical order, since if I put it in any other order, it's not impartial, my thanks to you all.

CLASS
Aaron:
Hey big guy! Thanks for this great year. It's such a good thing to have you at RJ with me, catching up with you all over again since we met at RJ on O! day (that's orientation in case you didn't know, Aaron. ha) and I thank you so much for all the lil things you've done. Thanks for a techical 5-years of friendship (although for the in between, we didn't really talk for bout nearly 3 years) and I'm looking forward to a many good ones more! God bless you and your family with love this coming year and yourself with wisdom and discipline!

Darn. Doing this in alphabetical is HARD. I'll go by groups (whose members will be alphabetical if I don't get lazy). OK, so means I'm starting with me class. K. Now to put a 'CLASS' header.

Alison:
Thanks for being a good OG mate and being fun and bubbly, always smiling and being cheery. May all your relationships be filled with joy and may you love those around you always!

Chen Xing:
Even though you don't read this blog, or maybe you do but I don't know, thanks for studying with those of us who were there during the hols and stuff. I know it can't really be counted as studyin but yea. Thanks for helping out and stuff.

Enli:
Thanks for being the lil vulture of the class. For being enthu when there's class outings and enjoying my company. Thanks for being funny and knowing how to laugh with me and also at me. God bless with faith in Him.

Jishun:
Thanks for all your one-liners and the basketball tips (even though I still am really bad at it) and for working that extra day with me at Conrad. Thanks for letting me bunk at your place that time after work at Conrad and thanks for the bringing Ying Qing and I for duck rice that time and for treating me to Wan Ton Mee that time. God bless with knowledge and trust.

Grace:
Thanks for your being more open to me and planning the class outing to the zoo, which was really quite fun. Thanks for being fun and quirky and adding your zest to the class. Thanks for all the fun. God bless you with focus on your studies and may you achieve what you set out to do.

Marcus:
Thanks for all the times you let me over to your place, for the allowing me to mess around at your place and to stay over. Thanks for all your interesting comments and thanks for you sarcasm, which is really, in retrospect, quite amusing. God bless with a love for others and discipline.

Michelle:
Thanks for playing my 'Ask-and-Answer' game where you were quite open to me and allowing me to get to know you better. Thanks for the intelligent remarks that you make sometimes and for being amusing and putting up with my teasing. (Yes, that's actually to everyone too, since I like to tease everyone.) God bless with the grades you pray for and with renewed faith in Him.

Nivi:
My wonderful new-found good friend! Thanks for being the PW mate that pushes the rest of us in the group and helping us meet deadlines. Thanks for the encouragement and the opening up to me. Thanks for the times where you played soccer and bball with the guys even though it's only yourself and Ying Qing there sometimes. Thanks for all you've done. God bless with the grades you want and with trust in Him.

Rachel:
Thanks for being a bubble of fun during GP classes when they get boring sometimes (sorry Mr Hau) and all the amusing things we've done (shut up Yi Wen, not everything I say has a sexual connotation despite your claiming it has.) Thanks for all the good times. God bless with a close walk with Him!

Sarah:
Thanks for sending me those songs you did and thanks for being the loudspeaker for laughter in GP class together with Grace, creating the much needed 'upper' that is needed at times in the class. Thanks for everything. God bless in your studies and relationships!

Sophia:
Thanks for being a blessing to me through your blog and being exemplary as a fellow sister-in-Christ. Thanks for not losing your temper at me despite your being the chinese rep and my being the chinese-rep's-responsiblity-that-causes-her-much-headaches. Thanks for your insights in our Faith and all. God bless to walk closer to Him and to love greatly.

Wei Ren:
Thanks for inviting me to your network's soccer thingum that time. Sorry I played really badly and stuff. Thanks for being so diplomatic and exemplary in your conduct towards others. Thanks for being a blessing. God bless to shine as an example to others and to get to know Him better.

Ying Qing:
Haha. Nearly forgot her. Was counting and counting and was like eh? How come not enough people in the list yet. Lol. Thanks for being a wonderful blessing to me and learning to open up to me, despite all the issues you have with trusting people. It means a lot then, for you to open up to me. Thanks for being great fun and the girl (other than Enli) who's there to hang out with us when the others can't or sometimes, just won't. Thanks for putting up with me crap and for believing in me. Thanks for the encouragement. God bless with love for your family and those around you and a renewed faith in Him!

Yi Wen:
Thanks for being the intellectual one with the interesting insights. Thanks for the experiences we shared and the fun times in RJ. Thanks for being the guy whom provides much humour. Thanks for being such an inspiration and thanks for putting up with my utter rubbish too. Thanks for the really smart comments and insights you have provided and the care and concern. God bless with wisdom and renewed faith in Him!

Zhao Feng:
Thanks for being a good class rep and you intelligence. Thanks for that evening when Yi Wen and I had dinner with you where I had the chance to get to know you more. Thanks for the entertainment and the wonderful singing that time at Victoria Concert Hall despite my falling asleep and drooling after your items were done and making a huge fool of myself. God bless with continued excellence in your studies and to find faith in Him.

Wow. That was only class people. Hmm. Ok. Better hurry.

AC FRIENDS:
Joel:
Wow dude. This is our 6th year of friendship and it's still going strong. That's really good. Thanks for the trashy fun and crazy times, the spastic moments and the rolling good fun. Thanks for letting me be a blessing to you and you to me. Thanks for teaching me many things even if you don't do it on purpose. Ha. Thanks for bothering about our friendship even when it seems like I don't. Thanks. God bless in all your relationships and with love and continued humour.

Joshua:
The guy who'se been a friend since the days in boarding school in secondary one, a big big thanks to you for talking crap with me and helping me improve me soccer. Thanks for loving me and thanks for the fun and laughter we've shared. I treasure those times. Thanks. Thanks for the funny remarks you make and the insights you share. God bless with a love for Him and others and discipline!

Khing:
Thanks for being the super-duper wonderful cross friend that was my classmate for the whole of friggin secondary school. Cheers to that man. All the friggin fun. The sharing a room in Chiang Mai, the going on a strict training diet together, th 3:18s together, the mucking around together, the lanning together, the outing to cine that day. Thanks for it all man. God bless with speed and smarts! God bless with love for Him!

Marcus:
Thanks for a good time fooling around in Orchard yesterday. Sorry we weren't somewhere happening when midnight struck and were somewhere outside Newton MRT instead. Ha. Thanks for a gd 6 years of friensdhip too man. Thanks for the fun and patience. Thanks for experiences you share and helping me out. God bless with smarts and love for others and to walk close to Him!

Ryan:
It's a been a good good 5-years of friendship man, dude. Those times just shooting at goal after school in sec 2 and watching a helluva lot of movies. Thanks for stupid things too, like leaving me a permanent scar by friggin melting my friggin finger, you sadist! Ha. Thanks for the crazy things too, like (whoa crap. nearly refreshed this page. and I'd cry cos I took so long to time out... ok. not that long cf last time, considering the length of this entry, but yea) going to town while it's school hours when I called in sick (I really was k) and then buying a remote-controlled plane and fooling around in Botanical Gardens (which now has changed a helluva lot. went there yesterday for the first time in ages, cos I had breakfast with my family, which is really first time in ages too I think). So yea, thanks dude! God bless with wisdom and discipline!

All other AC friends:
(cos I'm getting lazy and can't be bothered to type all names out). You who are reading this blog, I thank you for the fun we've had. I know that it was fun. Thanks.

AcXers:
Thanks for all the trainings we worked our guts through and thanks for the encouragement that enabled me to achieve my best. I never dreamed my whole life I'd do that. Thanks man. God bless with love for each other.

RJ crossers:
Thanks for the funny times and the trainings we've had so far. Looking forward to getting through tought trainings with you all. Thanks for the encouragement too. Thanks. God bless with discipline to study hard, eat well and sleep early!

Caijing:
Thanks for you rubbish and for putting up with mine. Thanks for the encrouagement and the birthday gift you got me this year despite knowing me properly (instead of only online like when khing introed us online when we were to watch a movie but then which never occurred) then for only for bout month plus. Thanks for being more inspired to run better and train harder next year. I believe you can make the team. Jia you! Really, you can. Your being inspired will make me more inspired, so thanks in advance. God bless with wonderful relationships and much love.

Steph:
Hey you! Don't know you all that well yet, but looking for ward to getting to do so. Yea. Thanks for being so amusing and funny and being able to laugh with me (at yourself at that) and at me too. Thanks for sharing things with me and thanks for encouragement. Thanks for the card after cross-country nationals this year. Yes. The one you wrote with Abby. Thanks for that one. God bless with love in your family and lots of smiles throughout the coming year. God bless with discipine and love.

ALL THE REST:
HAVE A WONDERFUL WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS!!!!

just a humble opinion, an interpretation

2006-12-23T16:22:00.000+08:00

I was just talking to Caijing and reading her blog and that +points up+ is the pic she had placed in her blog 2 posts ago and she said to interepret it and so I gave her my interpretation. She put it on her blog and I am koping it to place it here so you all can have a read of my humble opinion and maybe share some thoughts on the picture or my opinion too.

Here it is. Don't laugh. It may push the interpretation a bit, but I think it's still acceptable.

The ring is next to 'Heartland' and not 'Heartless'. In the photograph, Heartland appears above Heartless, showing that in the Heart (if Heartland is interepreted as a residing place in the Heart) there is a place that is above being Heartless.

The wedding ring, a metonymy for Marriage, Holy Matrimony and Union is seen in a different light, but the cliched idea of love is repeated, showing that love is greater than all and that in each person is the ability to love.It also shows that there is a thin line between being Heartless and being in the Heartland. The depth of field in the photograph could represent how in the presence of love, everything else is blur, as seen in the blur foreground as juxtaposed against the sharp and clear midground where the focus of the photograph is.

From the word 'Heartland' onwards, there are the words 'Heartless', 'Heart-rending', 'Heart-searching', 'Heart-throb', 'Heart-to-Heart', 'Heart-warming', just by numbers alone, that shows that the positive quantities of love are more than the negative ones. That can be seen in how only the word 'Heartless' has a negative bearing, compared to the others which can be viewed in positive lights.

the bottom tip of the heart is next to the word 'here', showing the love is always here and there within our reach and since it is the narrow strip, over time, we can literally work our way up to the broad areas (which represent the love increasing) where it becomes clear, like the picture becomes clearer as the heart widens. Working our way up also means that we encounter the positive words, like how in relationships we often see the good in people. But then there comes a point in time where it takes real love to overcome the 'not-so-postive' aspects of people (here represented by 'Heartless') and once we can do that, we achieve love, the essence of it and reach the 'heartland' (here, both literally as in the residing area of the heart and physically as in the word in the photograph) where the heart completes itself.

There. That's it.

Man. That was so SOVA (Study of Visual Arts) and so Lit. I miss Lit. I think I'll go carry on reading Pride & Prejudice. Need to finish up by the time school starts and I'm far from done.

Arrivederci!

whoo! i'm back

2006-12-22T22:23:00.000+08:00

Hello all my lovely friends! Ok. I'll admit I wanted to put 'loves', but sounds a tad gay. Anyway, I'm back from NZ and I'd love to blog all about it but it'd take forever and at the moment, I don't have that long. I have training tmr. Ok. Let's see.

In 160 words or less, summarise your trip to New Zealand the experience.

The trip to New Zealand outlived my expectations in many ways. Family trips have mostly been disasters. Add a stressed mother and grandmother, nonchalant grandfather and thats a recipe for trouble, but I enjoyed myself. I went to the South Island only, visiting numerous places. The tour guide spoke in chinese since most people on board spoke chinese. We heard experiences of the tour guide and learnt of the history of different locations. The weather was erratic, raining one moment and shining the next. It was winter and there was snow in the mountains, though I touched none personally. I bought few things- two pairs of bermudas and some gifts. I took over a thousand photos I believe, all in five megapixels quality. I made a new friend. I thought that it was a waste we didn't join the others in going to the North Island. I got a free t-shirt at the airport.

(154words)

There. I'll use my mum's documentation of the events to write a nice long one some other time. Hope I actually get down to it. I might add a few photos for the first time ever. Or maybe not. Each one's so huge. Haha. Yea. Ok. Forget the photos. If you ask me, I'll show you sometime. Yea.

K. Gonna shower and sleep, I hope.

Night!

just before i go

2006-12-15T01:27:00.000+08:00

Ok, actually I had been posting something but the comp shut down and I'm really in no mood to retype. Feeling rather annoyed now. Yea. Something bout my mum again, sorta. Yea. Man, I feel bad. I keep blaming her. Bah. Ok nvm.

It's 1 plus now and this is the last time I'm posting at this hour. Yea. Anyway, I met Khing earlier and had some real fun. Yea. Was good fooling around again. Yea.

Here's something for you all to do. Enjoy the remaining holidays, cos once their gone, its back to full-blown school timetable so yea. Enjoy your Christmas. Mine's gonna be spent training. At least the morning, so yea. I hope the thing Melvin's planning for that day turns out fine. Yea.

I'm leaving in bout 19-20 hours and I'll be back in 8 days. Take care yea peeps? I'm missing you all already. Yea.

Ok. Think thats all I have for now. Pray my trip's fine please. I hope its not a disaster like Sydney in 2000. I'll share with some of you some other time. You can always ask. I'll probably answer you.

See you all when I get back. Have a good week ahead.

random entries

2006-12-11T11:30:00.000+08:00

Hello to all! Gonna post a short one before I go to Swissotel to settle some stuff. Yea. Hope all of you are having a gd holiday so far. Mine's not been too bad. Yep. Many classmates have left or are beginning to go overseas and so I think I'll take this time to go grab a few old pals and catch uop. Thatd be great. Yea. People I haven't spent enough time with though they definitely deserve it. I'm flying out for bout 8 days myself. Hope I manage to squeeze in some runs there in NZ. Going both North and South in 8 days. Heard that's a sick rush. Yea. Pray for me k. Pray that I get faster there and that I don't fall sick. That my plane stays airborne till its supposed to land. haha.

Ok. Just some updates. The AcX guys did real well for the Standard Chartered, which is expected, but is somewhat scary since I'm running against them next year. Hah. Nvm la, not that I mind of course, since that would spur me to train harder. Yep. They always inspired me somehow. Yea. Great team.

Speaking of great teams, I think Rj's cross team is great too, in its own way. Just had the J2 farewell bout over a week ago and that was quite fun. The train ride back was amusing. Haha. Right Steph. LOL. Overall, the whole thing was not bad la. A bit dead for some, but I managed to keep myself entertained and stuff.

Thinking about the AC guys again and now realising that cool. PB for all the 21k runners. Tsk. I need more PBs. Yea. I should go about smashing my own. Ha. Anyway, went to play pool with Zheng Hong that day. He's quite gd. Caijing and Steph supposed to have joined Wei Wen, Zheng Hong and I but in the end Caijing pang sehed so only the four of us. Yea. Then took a friggin ex cab ride to airport to send aaron off. Tsk. Come back quick, master. Haha. Yep. Thats bout it.

Oh. Yea. Mr Tay's got me started on Maths. That's gd la, someone to get me started. In faith by Jan I'm in O's studying mood and will keep it for the whole year and I'll be safe. I know it.

Anything else? Not much. K. Gonna shower and scram. Haha. Supposed to be there by 12. Yep. Was at 10 but I delayed then the person called said 10 I was like really? Haha. Kk. Gtg.

Take care you all!

ps: Man, I am praying for a gd time at Pandan later.

just for fun

2006-11-29T14:44:00.000+08:00

Okay I was gonna blog about I don't know what, cos I realised I haven't updated in ages. Yea. Hmmm. I think I'll jsut do this thingum from Roy's blog. Visited for first time in ages.

Okay, here goes. I'll actually blog after I finish this thing. Yep.

1. how old did you wish you were?
hmmm. about this age and to stay this age. no A's cos still j1, but not sec sch kid. love my present class so yea.

2. where were you when 911 happened?
erm. i dunno man. think on the way home. roy says there was a psle paper the next day. dun rmb that. haha. oh well. but well... i was on earth. lol. ok. nvm. trying to be funny. literally.

3 what do you do when vending machine steals your money?
well... its not right but i've kicked hit, hit it and slammed it, but to no avail. i wouldn't really shake it cos there IS a sign that says something about shaking it and then it toppling and being able to kill. so err yea. heard that, Roy?

4 do you count yourself kind?
hmmm. i guess...? sometimes i think i could be kinder though and sometimes i think ppl don't bother or seem to take it for granted. hmmm.

5 if you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?
erm. i dunno. if i really had to get one eh. dunno lower back? but it'd be really really small. dun like em. i've always believed that if I weren't Christian, I still wouldn't get one because I couldn't decide what to put.

6 if you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?
i'd love to be fluent in many other languages. but i guess since i'm chinese, no 1 priority would be chinese. then maybe spanish? or italian? or french? or jap? all are cool man. i wouldn't mind being a linguist. haha.

7 do you know your neighbours?
hmmm. nope. i nly know that on the same floor as me, there's 3 other families, 2 indian and 1 chinese. also that for the chinese family, my bro knows one of them and that they're sorta nosy parkered. yea. imagine this. my bro was with his friend from barker. pri sch but whom went to barker. anyway, they're near barker rd when someone tells them that there's a boa constrictor there so they go check it out. now, i stay near newton, but this family somehow hears of it too (no, not that i stay at newton, but of the constrictor), so guess what... they take a friggin cab down. ahaha. wth. lol.

8 what do you consider a vacation?
man, before i answer that, something to prove q4. i just helped amos (aaron's bro) fix his toy. ahaha. k. whatever. hmmm a vacation if defined in terms of dictionary would be a break la. like from whatever. hmmm. MY vacation would be like friends of mine coming together and having fun. some fun that requires money and then some fun that requires none. i'm a people person, so must have people. yea. it'd be not too many ppl or its hard to manage. it could also be many many people. i'd really love for all my friends to know each other so yea. unfortunately, that seems rather impossible. haha. yea. so i think just close friends getting to know each other would suffice (lol. i was going to say 'would be sufficient, but i like the word suffice better. lol)

9 do you follow your horoscope?
i like Roy's answer. it follows me. ahaha. hmmm. this question reminds me of zhao feng. right yi wen? he remembers ppl's birthdays roughly because he remembers their horoscope.

10 would you move for the person you love?
move? like overseas? maybe. when i've found that person. hmmm. actually, i think i would. yea. dunno. it'd be hard though, since friends wouldn't be moving along. so yea. bleagh. i guess Roy and I are rather similar then, since i'd also do 'anything' for the person. man. maybe Sophie's right. we are similar.

11 are you touchy feely?
i can be... somehow this question makes me think of times when i wanna hug ppl. haha. or want a hug. also of times when i believe that with my past i could be a serial molester or something. lol. ahaha. k. this question also reminds me of occasions when i've touched ppl inappropriately by accident. yes. must highlight. BY ACCIDENT. it's really weird. you like don't know whether to apologise or pretend it didn't happen then when u do decide to apologise(after much deliberation) the person goes "huh. for what?" and you're like "err... nvm". lol.

12 do you believe that opposites attract?
yea. the Bible says they do. reminds me of zhao feng again, this question. no. not attracted to him. haha. but like he told me there's this theory of how people are divided into 4 parts. and for each 4 parts that they can be divided into, there's one option they can be or a mix of both. then, like supposedly there's two components in which if people have the same mix, they attract, but only because their other two components are opposit. but hmmm. technically, that makes them equally opposite right. ahaha. if u didn't get that, go re-read or nvm la. maybe ur dense. haha. or i didn't make sense. haha.

13 dream job?
hmmm. a mix too (yes. like Roy's...) but mine'd be a mix of doc, charity volunteer, rock star, linguist (from q6), athlete and businessman. yea. that'd rock. oh teacher and pastor too. of coruse, with the same option as erm... having time for all the people i love dearly.

15 favorite place to go on weekends?
hmmm. somehow i always end up in orchard, or maybe yishun since yi wen and aaron live in yishun. yea. but anywhere, really. no diff to me. it's the company, not the venue.

16 showers or baths?
showers. not bath tub. only time i have baths is when i'm in oz in jia poh's place (me grandma's place)

17 do you paint your nails?
hahaha. yes. hahaha. jk. of course not. but i have before. yea. i know there's a base coat, then you paint and then there's a top coat. ahaha.

18 do you trust people easily?
yea i do, but at the same time, i think i've quite an astute judge of character, since there's been no probs so far. besides, i think we should trust ppl unless they provide us with reasons to do otherwise, no?

19 what are your phobias?
hmmm. that i'll have no friends? or loved ones? erm... used to be of the dark. erm... i kinda have a fear of heights, like a lil, but skydiving has this really huge appeal so ppl think i'm joking with the heights thing. or at least its seems like i am, but to me, looking down from the top of like the shopping centre to the bottom can be scary cos u know the height, but from a plane seems diff... dun ask me why. no i haven't skydived (or is it skydove? lol) before. so wanna try though.

20 do you want kids?
hmmm. if i find the right person, yea. why not. if i don't shoot blanks either. hahaha. i know i can shoot thats for sure. ahaha. lol. kk. sorry. crude.

21 do you keep a handwritten journal?
nope. never have. i can tell most ppl anything so see no reason. besides, i have this blog to do what i want, unless it's a wee shu-min kinda comment, then maybe i'll re-consider. but speaking of that, i think she must have felt its nothing wrong or she'd not have done it. ppl don't usually sin on purpose (not saying she sinned, just that ppl consider it wrong-which i feel is a subjective matter- and i like to term wrongs as 'sins')

22 where would you rather be right now?
hmmm. nowhere, really. but i can think of various ppl i'd like to be here at aaron's place now. haha. yea.

23 who makes you feel warm and fuzzy?
hmmm. all my friends? warm and fuzzy. lol. haha. only get that feeling when i get a hug. yea. but then again, i dun really hug ppl long enough to get that feeling, but just to enjoy the physical comfort... or at least, i haven't done so for a long time, since i hugged nette. which was hmmm sec 2? lol. ok. thats a long time since a long hug. i feel long hugs are better, since they provide a physical and emotional comfort. unless of course the hug is used to comfort ppl in the first place la. mine's usually to say bye or hmmm... like at Threesome- to congratulate a job well-done. yep. good job once again to all classmates whom acted/helped put for that play. job extremely well done!

24 heavy or light sleeper?
heavy mosta the time i guess, but talking has woken me before so yea. this reminds me of my chinese tuition teacher in sec4. crazy. so light a sleeper that she floats. haha. lol. jk. so light a sleeper that when her dog which sleeps on her bed moves, she wakes. that must suck man.

25 are you paranoid?
hmmm. seldom. but i can be really paranoid when i become as such. yea. paranoia's linked to jealousy and thus doubt if u ask me. not all the time, but it can be. and i think it has been to me before. so yea. happens when i don't spend enough time with God and sin comes in real easy cos of deception. yes yi wen, sorry once again. lol. no, not calling yi wen God. paranoia is also somehwat similar to sensitivity in a way so yea i can be. can be way over-sensitive at times and totally insensitive at others too.

26 are you impatient?
nope. dun think so. lets ask. ppl! tag on this one! (if ur still here readin this uber long post)
my end of this though, would be to explain this which i've explained to several ppl before. i think in 2 parts- the mind and the heart. the mind helps me survive and the heart is my feelings. the mind keeps me from being cheated and the heart allows me to be open and to reciprocate others' love for me. I usually tend to try follow the heart. so, i can be considered impatient in a sense, because sometimes, in a situation, my mind will tell me to do something because it's impatient, because i seem to be treated unfairly, but the heart will say something else and i'll listen to it. so yea.

27 who can you relate to?
hmmm. shall i list? lol. relate to. if its understand them then there might be a few exceptions to the list, but if its talk to then here's the list. Aaron, Ying Qing, Yi Wen, Joel, Tahm, Marcus, Ryan, Ji Shun, En Li, Rachel, Michelle. Hmmm. the list stopped cos i think i can relate to many people. yea. many. so yep. no point listing. waste time. but those up there are those i'm close to so yea.

28 how do you feel about interracial couples?
wth is wrong. nothing. so yea. their kids can be hot, so no harm done. haha. besides, it's their choice.

29 have you been burned by love?
hmmm. nope. i think i've hurt ppl before though. felt like a bastard.

30 what's your favorite pick-up line?
hmmm. i dun believe in em. yea. but here's one marc shared before.
"Is your dad a baker? Cos you have nice buns." lol.
here's another one marc said he heard some guy on the radio say he'd(the guy on the radio) used before and got slapped. read and you'll see it's no surprise. makes me wonder how the girls in class, or actually the girls i know, will react to it. here. read for yourself.
"Hi there babe. Nice legs. What time do they open?"
haha. yea. that's it. anyway, is it "baby" or "babe". and is "babe" pronounced "behb" or "beh-be" or both. u can tag on this too.

31 what's your main ringtone on your mobile?
dun have a mobile. lol. haha. man. aaron and yi wen wanna get me one. lol. think they shouldn't. told em my mum'd say i'm shameless, taking other ppl's things or asking them for one, but they say they couldn't careless what my mum thinks. lol. they've had enough of not being able to contact me. lol. come. lets have a vote. how many of u whom actually reached her and read this, think that if i had a phone, u'd actually contact me. haha. lol. i get this feeling no one's gonna reply any of me questions. lol. haha. so loser one.

32 what were you doing at midnight last night?
sex. haha. jk. msn. but i got a headache shortly after i took my antibiotics. then tried to sleep. couldn't cos i felt exceedingly queasy. then went to puke out my manhattan fishmarket dinner. haha. felt so much better. lol. aaron said that i sound like "a high class bulemic. eat expensive food then go puke it out" when i told him that. oh that makes me wonder. does that mean i didn't finish my round of antibiotics?

33 what did the last text on your cellphone say?
oh shut up already. i have no cellphone man.

34 whose bed did you sleep in last?
erm. technically, my bro's. we have a double-deceker. i originally slept on the top, but we swapped when i began to place the iBook near me and listening to music and using msn till late. he had o's, which are now over. yea. pray he did well man.

35 what color shirt are you wearing?
black. some crappy power98 fm shirt i got free when they came to RJ. lol. i dun usually wear these shirts, like aaron said "I didn't think lau would wear such shirts, but i was like heck la. too lazy to find the nike dri-fit that i like. the dark blue one with the green and white words. like this. arrgh. ok nvm. that was dumb. the actual green's kinda bright and white against white can't be seen so yea. (yes. i actually went to try then realised... haha)

36 most recent movie you watched?
erm. Happy Feet! with my cute lil cousins. yea. one who's supposedly like me, a hyper nut who's loud and crazy. haha. yes ying qing, if u read this, that's the one. her name's melody. lol. haha. just realised. if she a sibling, should be named harmony. lol. man. i though i came up with a sick joke but its sorta just a variation of this one.

5 frogs were outside heaven, awaiting to see if they would be permitted. An angel appears and they are asked questions about their lives before the angel decides whether to permit them or not. The first one steps up.
Angel: So, what have you done with your life?
Frog 1:Just the usual, been going in and out of puddles.
Angel: Then you may enter.
The lights flashed and the gates opened and he entered.
Angel: So, what about you?
Frog 2: The same as frog 1, sir.
Angel: Then you too, may enter.
The same thing happened. The lights flashed, the gates opened and he entered.
This happened until the last frog. She came up and introduced herself.
Female Frog: Hi, my name is Puddles.

so yea, was just thinking of something about being in harmony. haha. lol.

37 name three things you have on you at all times.
erm. i suppose other than things i'm stuck with. hmm. my walelt, which usually has no cash. erm. a bag most of the time. and finally, erm. almost always, iPod nano.

38 what color are your bedsheets?
hmmm.. white i think.

39 how much cash do you have on you right now?
erm. nearly none? still trying to pay aaron back. lol. that makes it sound like i trying to get revenge by beating him up, which we all know is impossible.. he's "Awesome Arms" man. lol

40 what is your favorite part of the chicken?
erm. breast. hahahaha. i'm a boobs guy. haha. jk. the whole package counts. anyway, chicken. i guess the meat la. then what.

41 what's your favorite town/city?
hmmm... i guess Singapore? since most of my loved ones are here? it might be Boston next time. haha. dunno. somehow, i think Singapore will always be 1st. yea. wow. government propaganda has worked. haha. jk.

42 i cant wait till...?
erm. i dunno. get to study where i wanna in the US? erm..... or maybe till the next time we meet? haha. i dunno. being dumb here. hmmm. maybe till God's promised day. yea. that seems applicable, even though I don't really know what He has planned. oh oh. I know. till I see His face. although that means 99.9999999% that i'd be dead. not that i dun enjoy life. yea,

43 what did you have for dinner last night?
erm.i just said earlier right. Manhattan Fish Market. Ryan, Marcus and I shared a Giant Fisherman's Fried Platter or something. then a Single Seafood Platter too. dinner was quite fun. haven't spent time with the 2 of em lately.

44 do you own a gun?
haha. i agree with Roy on this one most definitely. all guys do. ahaha.

45 what do you prefer to drink in the morning?
milk i guess. or water, but water tastes weird in the morn.

46 where do you think you'll be in 10 years time?
Man. 10 years. +cringes+ that's a really familiar looking timespan. hmmm. this one I dun feel like sharing. However, by faith, it'll be what I have in mind. I'd like to be a millionaire by then, if not a multi-millionaire. I don't believe you need money to be happy,secure or live life, but I think that it helps to have it, so you can enojy the things that require money and so that you know you have it when you need it. In fact, I realise more and more nowadays that the things that require less money seem to be more fun.

47 last thing you ate?
oreos. lol. aaron's stupid joke. ahaha.

48 what songs do you sing in the toilet?
hmmm. anything that's playing on the portable speaker that belongs to justin low which i still haven't returned since he left em in the LT last year. man. i gotta return em sometime. poor neighbours. haha. me singing. lol. haha. hmmm. actually i dun think i'm bad so hmmm.

49 last thing that made you laugh?
hmmm. something up there la. ok. no. that's not laugh. last thing that made me laugh. like really laugh. dunno. but i know most of my msn convos have amusing things that make me smile.

50 worst injury you've ever had?
ankle sprain. that caused another 5 or 6 re-sprains cos of lack of care and strengthening.

51 does someone have a crush on you?

52 what's your favorite candy?
hmmm. dun have. i dun like candy in general. candy's different from mints, which is a diff case. ahaha. and candy isn't that nice. dark chocolate is. hmmm. is mentos and the like considered candy?

53 what song do you want played at your funeral?
erm.... i dunno. "Haha You're Dead" by Green Day? lol. that'd actually be amusing. but i like the idea tuesays with morrie (which is a really good read btw), where people have live eulogies. yea. i would also like people to party after their done mourning (i'm assuming at least some would. haha). i was going to say that they shouldn't be sad, but that's not really possible, cos i tried to imagine a loved one having passed away (reminds me of that time aaron, yi wen and i were comparing to see what we would do if someone we loved passed away) and even though I could party after a while (esp. if that person wanted me to. the while might jus be quite a long while btw.) but i'd definitely mourn first. personally, i'd like people to try be happy because i don't like loved ones being sad so yea.

54. four random people to do this?
hmmm. sorry. can't be random. thats dumb. random in this kinda case is never usually random. but anyway, let's break the rule of four (lol. sounds like that book title the same- "The Rule of Four" by i dunno who. no the author is not 'i dunno who'. no the author is not "not 'i dunno who' ".. -cycle repeats infinitely-) i'd love for all my classmates to do this and to write as much as i did. i'd like joel and tahm and ryan and marcus to do this too. yep. hmmm. jess as well. anyone else? not sure. hai. all of u do la.

yay! done. took a gd hour and a half. lol. or more. now to blog a lil bout what happened lately. hmmm. u know about dinner last night ready. erm. we trained at pandan for first time in how long. so yea. improved cf last year but then again, not a big deal cos last year how suck. yea. hmmm. oh. khing, if u read this u might wanna tell me if its true. marcus said he was talking to you and you said i'm dunno how pro now. ^o). wow. erm.... thanks? lol. where'd u get that idea from man. haha.
yea. ok. i think u all have enough to read. was quite fun doing this. yep. k. gonna go outisde and watch em play ps 2 now.

ciao!

Was it a good day?

2006-11-19T20:30:00.000+08:00

Hello people. Ok. Right. Sorry I haven't been updating. Ok. Let's see. Where shall I begin.

Right. Let's start with the auditions at Ben & Jerry's at The Cathay. They sucked crap and the guy asked me if I even knew what the heck I was playing. I didn't like the guy. He was kind of attitude and stuff but yea. Nvm. I can't be bothered to elaborate. Elaborated for so several people ready. Sick of it. I need to get better at guitar. Still very low standards.

Training wise, I missed training yesterday. Went for soccer in Marsiling. We played in the friendship cup. We did really badly. Rubbish man. We drawed the first two and then I played keeper and let a goal in and we lost, crashing out 1-0 to the other team. It's always me ain't it. Pffft. Sigh. I don't know if I'm one to comment, but the AC guys weren't their usual selves. Raymond played like he was so frightened to get tackled, Weng Kin kept losing possesion (totally not his usual self). Tahm played somewhat alright but still not as well as he usually does, but he wasn't so on fire like he usually is. The defence was much better than the attack in my opinion but yea. So much for making the finals eh.

Today. I had a race and it went quite well even though I didn't actually want to go down for it. I decided to go down in the end because I told Quek I was racing. Yea. I woke up aching in the arms (from keeping I supposed), like the forearms and all tight because I didn't cool down yesterday and when I met Jin Xiang before the race and we warmed up, my shoulder hurt slightly. So I decided to just do my best. I had fun anyway. The air conditioning made the climbing harder. Yea. It was tiring but a good experience la. The view wasn't that spectacular, but it was my first time climbing 73 storeys at once. It was my first-time standing on a helipad on the top of a hotel. It was my first-time seeing Singapore from so high up(other than a plane). So many firsts. Cool...

Anyway, enough of that. I fell asleep during sermon today cos was shagged out I guess. I then went for dinner with church friends and came back. Yea.

Which was when I got that feeling again... cos of some news of sorts... wow.

So was it a good day? I don't know. You judge.

Ciao.

not feeling like myself

2006-11-09T23:50:00.000+08:00

Alright, before I begin, I'm going to make it clear that this post is not really meant to be understood, so some of you may not want to waste your time reading it. Some of you may understand it, some of you may not. I can't be bothered to say any more than that. Time to start. Let's go...

When the sun shines brightly, the world is cheery and happy, despite the heat. Things are lit up and bright. The world is a wonderful place. Then the clouds of rain intrude and block off the sun, making things dark and gloomy. Then it begins to rain. The wind howls and a thunderstorm breaks out. The rain may be a welcome relief, but its somewhat melancholic too. I don't know. I like both the rain and the sun, but only one can exist at one time, otherwise, its queer. The rain is out of place when the sun is the one that is wanted.

A little man exists that has emeralds for eyes. He longs for diamonds or crystals instead, but he cannot have them. He feels he is tainted and stained. People might need his eyes, but despite them being what he feels taints him, his eyes serve their purpose-they help him see a value. The thing is, if need be, can he put aside these eyes of his and be selfless to give it to the people whom need them, whom seem to be able to use them better than he himself can? He should feel happiness for the people and himself, for he might make the difference. Should he be able to perform such a selfless task if the need arises, would he then be blessed with the crystal or diamond eyes he desires or would he end up having to crawl around, pitiful and looking for new eyes that might not satisfy him even as much as his previous eyes? Maybe he might miss those eyes afterall...

I feel like a solitary figure in a wide quagmire...

I feel like I may have to stop being myself...

I feel like I may have to live in denial...

I feel like that may be the best choice...

I may be thinking too much...

I might be making a mistake...

I may regret either way...

I can't be sure.

I guess only time will tell..

I don't know what to think...

It seems trivial yet important...

I really don't know...

Maybe it's just me.

I think I need to grow up.

I think I'm oversensitive.

I'm tired.

I need sleep.

It'll distract me.

I don't want to lose the securities and comforts I have now.

This is distressing.

I hope I'm not being a hypocrite by choosing my actions.

I pray I'm not living a lie.

I might be afraid to admit it.

I might not even have anything to admit.

I hope this doesn't affect my life or the way I live.

I think it could be good.

I also think it could be bad.

I need help.

I need God's help.

I need wisdom.

I need God's wisdom.

I'm gonna sleep. Like I said, it'll probably distract me. I'll try not to dwell on it. Maybe it'll go away... but then again, do I want it to? I don't really think so... I guess I'll just see how things go. I'm sorry if this post is incoherent. My thoughts are really incoherent right now, a jumble of the plethora of emotions I guess. I've always been an open book. For once, I've got something I'm not ready to share. I'm considering closing a chapter in my life even though it may not have begun. I may kill something off. I don't know. All these are but considerations, options, choices. I've never been good with choices. Thank God I don't have to choose now.

regarding pw..

2006-11-06T09:52:00.000+08:00

I just feel like posting something up. Don't ask me why. I feel bored perhaps. Anyway. I'll just make a mention that I think my group's quite crazy/pro. We put so much time into making a video for group presentation when that part's apparently not compulsory. Tsk... haha. Nevermind though, we had good fun doing it. I spent a good 6 hours or so editing the videos. I taught myself how to use Adobe Premiere Standard. So proud man. Haha. Seemed so cheem at first but its considerably usable when you figure out the basic ways of maniupulating something. Quite neat, quite neat. Anyway, so basically I slept at 5am and I'm tired. I left the video exporting but it's not anywhere to be found I think, so yea. It's exporting again now. It's gonna take some time.... It has a good 12010 frames. haha. Its 8 mins plus. So that works out to be... hmmm let's see-wait arh, I use calculator- roughly 25 fps. Or maybe a lil less, since its a lil longer than 8mins. Hope the teachers moderating and the people watching enjoy the video so the exceeding part is not really taken into consideration. Also, honestly, I think we deserve band 1. Yep. Or EE. haha. So thats that. I think I'll go back and sleep some more. I have training later. I don't know how far I'm running, but I know it's gonna be tiring, so yea. Ok. I'll have some proper breakfast for once first, then sleep. K. Buona notte!

Some Updates.

2006-11-03T23:12:00.000+08:00

I've been wanting to post for a while, but blogger's been down. Anyway, I think I'm not gonna put anything much about today down- I'm tired and wanna sleep. The long post you see is due to the fact that I typed that day but blogger messed up (yes. trying to stop using expletives like s****d up). So yea. Anyway, a brief summary of today was that I took my chinese A levels today and in faith, I believe I will do well. It was like God told me that Bie Li De Gu Shi would come out and it did. Thank you God. Anyway, it was my most well done paper of chinese so far in JC life. After that, I bummed around for a while before doing pw with Yi Wen and Ying Qing. Haha. We got all drenched but had quite a lot of fun. Hopefully, the final product will be great. Kudos to them for being so sporting and fun. Thanks guys. Thanks to Yi Wen for baring his top and being sporting. Thanks to Ying Qing for being so sporty and erm for the favour of the shirt in advance. Then after that, I went for the ACSian theatre performance Beauty and The Beast. It wasn't that good like I expected and Denise played such a small role, with minimal acting required. What a waste. It wasn't all that bad, but I expected more. Met Ryan also, which was good. Haven't seen the dude in a while so yea. Also met Divya at the performance; something I wasn't expecting-an RJ person other than myself at an AC production. I don't know why. Haha. Oh well. Anyway, that basically sums up my day. Yep. I'm having training tomorrow, so I think I should go. Yep. See you.

ok.i am editing this on the 4th November cos i realised blogger screwed up that day yet posted the uber long post thingum, so yea. no long post. for this one.

Updates.

2006-10-29T20:10:00.000+08:00

Before I begin, I'm just wondering: If I want all my entries to stay intact does that mean I must archive them or does archiving them just make this place neater? Hmm...

Ok... So... Time for updates. I went to watch Threesome yesterday. It was good. To think they charged only $6. That's so worth the cash. I mean, not that I'm asking it to be more expensive, but hey, there was a standard involved so yea. I'm wondering now if "Beauty and the Beast" would be worse, just as good or better? Hmmm. AC production, so it better be good, especially since it's costing more. Oh no, that means flowers again. Bugger. Anyway, Three Fat Virgins or Caged Birds alone would have been worth the $6 in my opinion. The script writers are good, seriously good. +hats off to Sindhu+ Kevin's Birthday Party... That was the really silly one with no point in it whatsoever, being random and rather immature; it wasn't even that funny either although it was at some points. Three Fat Virgins was an interesting insight although I can't place a finger as to the point; I get the idea but I have no idea the definition of the 'Fat Virgin' still... Hmm... I think that was the point... Personal Interpretation. +shrugs+ I'm not sure. Maybe Ying Qing could clarify this. Or Sindhu, since she helped write the play. +random note: this entry is gonna be mighty long(i think)... so for the impatient, you might wanna jump about to read whatever might interest you+ At this point, I'd like to say Ying Qing did a good job acting as the 'Ah Ma'. Yep. Wonder if she thought she did well.... One of the funniest parts was when she acted like a maid and cleaned the floor. HAHA. +cues the video in Yi Wen's phone...LOL+ Anyway, next- Caged Birds. This one was good too. Each bird represented a different problem that we as humans face, like Slander/Gossip (Michelle played this bird), like Indecision (Alison played this part), Politics (Rachel), Greed... etc. They were supposed to try and break free from their self-imposed prisons, but in the end were too afraid to, killing the 'Wild One' that imposed the ideas. Interesting irony though, is that Alison's character kind of made up her mind in the end that the 'Wild One' was right. The outfits were kind of J. Lo-ish though. Haha. One thing I notice about the TSD people(maybe it's just my imagination), but they seem to enjoy using the most minimalistic outifts but use the make-up to bring across the emotions and ideas, something I must admit their really good at; like Rachel's make-up with its rectangular and squarish features, seemed dominantly male... something politics seems to be related to. Yep. Good job, Mich, Ally and Rachel! After that, we hung around at Cafe Cartel where the service was rather poor, but we were also behaving like dumbasses, so some given some taken I guess. Then I bummed at Aaron's place because I had no mrt home and no cash. Yep. Speaking of which, those who wanna ask me meet you all and stuff(darn. that makes me sound so "I-think-I'm-popular"-esque), please refrain from doing activities that involve much money. I am flat broke. Dead-out broke, like a bum. Yep. Haha. Unless of course you're some hot girl. hahaha. Jk. Even then I might have not enough cash. Today during church, the sermon didn't really get to me because I kept drifting in and out of sleep. Bleagh.

Other matters... Training has been tiring for me man. I've just resumed training and am so dying due to lack of proper exercise these months. I'll be getting good again I pray. Those who can, please pray that I stay injury-and-sickness-free this season and do my best for God so I can give Him all glory yea? I've got a new motto or erm... what's that word.... Darn. I forgot. That word that describes your belief.... Darn. Still can't find it. Okay, nevermind that. It's basically "If you respect that person, give them your best." It applies to my running and to life as well. It's similar to what I was talking to Aaron about: You'll only bother to correct people whom you care about, otherwise, why would you give a darn about what they do unless it affects you? It also applies to how we should always serve others to the best of our ability; just like how if we have already gone the extra mile, then we might as well go the extra extra 200-300metres of necessary right? Speaking of training, it's high time I put my new lifestyle into practice. Otherwise, I'd be all talk and no walk, so yea. I'm not sure if I've mentioned this here before, but I was reminded kindly by the cross-country teacher and the coach recently that I've not exactly done well in either my academic area nor my CCA area, so it's high time to buck up. I'm really disappointed in myself I must say, for not achieving all that I've wanted to in this first year at RJ. Other than my wonderful new-found lifelong(I pray hard...) friends, I've really achieved nothing much. Sigh. I shan't go into details- I'm sure by now we all know them, besides, I don't really fancy the idea of getting all moody over them since things are going to change. Those of you who know of my wanting to improve myself, help me along k. It'll really be appreciated.

Next thing. Wait. Should I even mention this or should I take down the links on my blog first, so if there are any flamers they can't go to my friends blogs... Hmm... Whatever. I think I'll delete after I put up the post. I'm speaking now about the whole issue of Moca being an elitist and turds flaming his blog for that. Firstly, I do not see what is wrong with being elitist. Moca was not spreading his ideas to others and making them ostracise others. Moca was only professing to be an elitist. Moca did not say that he was right. He only stated that that was his stand, so those poor souls whom have nothing better to do, please leave the class blog alone, especially since the post was not even on the class blog to begin with. Don't go around harrassing Moca's friends and flaming their blogs too you losers. The ironic thing is that they themselves are ostracising others in a sense, putting people like Moca down. I heard from Yi Wen that apparently the whole thing has been commented about on forums too. My goodness. Seriously. I think that people whom comment on such things mostly are hypocrites anyway. They have people whom they cannot stand either and there is no right or wrong so to speak on such an issue, especially since it's a subjective topic in the first place. So unless you have something nice to say or something that is constructive criticism, get lost.

Yet the next topic: Ugly Singaporeans. Singaporeans confuse me at times despite the fact that I am Singaporean myself. I totally believe in Singapore being a wonderful place, but sometimes(or maybe more often) that can be spoilt by not simply foolish behaviour but behaviour thta is atrocious and revolting. Once again I note that this may indeed be subjective, but some things are obviously against moral standards. One simple example: In today's Newpaper, there's an article about Singaporeans harassing a woman for her husband's death certificate number so that they can buy 4D numbers. Such behaviour is simply a disgrace to Singaporeans. Really unacceptable, no? I think that so many of us could use lessons in sensitivity. I'm sorry but some people can really strike a raw nerve with their insensitivity. Some don't mean it, but that doesn't always make excusable, although they can be forgiven. Others, those whom mean it with all ill-intent and only wish to serve themselves should go live in the jungle, where they can declare their own one-man/woman- state and leave the civilised living to the rest of us humans, not barbarians or primates. I think that we all are insensitive sometimes because we don't have perfect knowledge, but tact is something many people apparently lack or leave at home when they go out. This is especially vexing I believe, when one makes comments that insult someone who has just helped you or done you a favour. Singaporeans could do with lessons in body language too. Some people don't mean what they imply with their body language. Singaporeans are also constantly given the wrong image by Ah Bengs and Ah Lians whom have no tact and get incensed at the slightest of things and carry such a bad attitude. Don't get me wrong, I still believe that in everything, something good or positive can be learnt, like how it's good to dare to be different, but we must know whether we are doing the right thing in the first place, otherwise, it's simply distasteful. Another thing that annoys me too is men whom can't treat their women right. (No reference to specific people, really.) Either that or people who can't treat others like their living beings too. Regarding the former, I suppose it applies to the whole "Chivarly is Dead (yes. note the capitalised 'D')" idea. I don't agree it's dead, since there are some of us whom still believe in much of the rules, but it's certainly in danger of extinction, especially here in Singapore apparently. There can be the elderlies with their groceries and shopping bags, struggling to manage and people, supposedly civilised people who know how to care for others, can simply remain in the seats on the MRT and not offer it to them. I'm not talking about healthy adults who are simply tired. I'm talking about frail sexagenarians, octagenarians even for crying out loud. What's wrong with you people wearing your fancy Gucci-or-Guess glasses!? What- you're blind?! Then regarding the latter, there's those people whom bully others. Those whom not only cannot get along with someone, but have to destroy their property and bully them. I personally know someone who was(maybe is, but hopefully isn't) like that. My goodness- their still humans you know... if you can't see eye-to-eye with them, just avoid them. Period.

Hmmm... I think that's all. I can't remember. Wait. There's something else, but I can't remember what...Hmmm. I can't exactly remember. However, I can take this time to apologise to anyone whom I might have accidentally pissed off(I never do it intentionally) or infuriated before, or to anyone whom I might have said words of hurt and harm or malice. I also apologise if I've belittled anyone before and to anyone whom I might have made them think they are unimportant to me, especially friends(thats different from acquaintances, who are "hi-bye 'friends'") since friends matter so much to me. I know at times I seem not to care or be really nonchalant about my friendships, but I really am not yea? So pardon me. I take my friendships seriously.

Ok. I really cannot remember anything else I wanted to mention. Oh wait. Yes. Something short. Anyone notice the haze has gone? That the PSI is down? Why? It's because God's so gracious. Last weekend, at church we had a minute or two or churchwide prayer for the haze to leave and the condition to improve. Guess what- the vey next day it miraculously improved drastically, despite claims by meteorologists and weathermen/women that it would stay till the end of November. So praise be to God!!! We can all train properly, go outdoors and breathe fresh air again! Yay!

Yep. That's all for now. Till the next entry.

Cheers.

Buona notte.

PS: If you've actually read finish this whole entry, thanks friend. Thanks a lot. Means I didn't type for no reason. It took a while. Much longer than you took to read. haha. So, grazie. Grazie.

results

2006-10-17T23:03:00.000+08:00

ok. thank God i got promoted. i think i generally improved this time round but lit was disappointing. nvm. i was feeling kinda down that day but bettew now after the run. and aaron and yiwen were so nice. got me something. thanks dudes. meanwhile, here's my results. i know they suck. but i intend to get them right. 11 people take maths in class. there's 7As, 1 C, 1D and 2 Ss. I foresee 11As next year... haha. but seriously. time to start getting disciplined. yea. and ok ally. if ur serious, i dun mind your suggestion of studying during hols. i need to. so yea. its open to anyone else too. but must be serious studying. no need to be long. just 1 or 2 hrs before going to play is fine. i also need a job man. mum's been naggin me bout earning my own money and saying she won't gimme cash during hols. so yea. bleaghx. i wanna actually buy ppl christmas gifts for once. haven't done so properly for ages. plus i've got lots of ideas for next year ppl's birthdays-class ppl, best friends, family. need some form of cash at least.

here's my results.

Literetaure D (highly disappointing. Othello got 12.5/25. WHY?!)
Maths S (this is BAD. but can't blame anything but no practice.)
Econs S (i need to find out how to answer and study this topic)
Art S (just ill-discipline thats all. it'll be corrected)
GP C (i still have yet to figure out how to write a gd essay)
Chinese E (A lvl coming up. help. i better pass)

meanwhile, i've started training again. not very gd, can be loads better. but i haven't been training for ages so yea. right. yep. i'll get better. i pray i will get SO much better.

k. i shall sign off here. here's a thought: if one wants to save money but not really compromise their lifestyle, where's the line to draw the limit in spending?

buona notte.

sono stanco.

something fun

2006-10-04T12:15:00.000+08:00

hey. haven't posted in a while and like not gonna post anything but this link i found on my class' blog's archive. here. check it out. skill,man. skill.

Finger Soccer

i'll be back nother time.gonna meet yi wen for a run now. hope its fun and alright. then gonna kick around between aaron, yiwen and myself. yep. yiwen's now in my circle of 'best friends', making the tally like 10 ppl.

k.

ciao.

the answers

2006-09-22T23:27:00.000+08:00

ok. since i guess enough ppl have tried, i shall post the answers up to the thingamajigum that is there +points to previous post+ right. here we go.

lets see. k.
1. i'm interested in eschatology. (we all know this is true. the end times fascinate me. and so do cults though their scary.)
2. i've never had a crush before, not that i know of. (this one is true. i dun recall crushing on someone. i don't know what it feels like. i can't tell if i like someone too. doomed to celibacy i guess)
3. i find the Bible is actually quite boring to read. (ok. this is false too, cos its my manual for life problems and should be all ours. as the sayin goes. "Life'd be so easy if we all read the manual". and apply of course. thats tough too. its interesting how ppl think i find the Bible interesting. i don't even read it publicly much. hmmm. oh and i have felt this way before. but no longer, it seems)
4. i have never gotten pissed off at any friend before, only agitated. (this one is true. only family members have felt my wrath, which i don't think ppl fear but i feel they have reason to. hahaha.)
5. i do not really believe everyone has a talent- some ppl just can't seem to do anything. (lol. yea fine maybe this one was kinda obviously false. haha. but i do believe everyone's good at something. though i'm not sure what mine exactly is yet. by faith, guit-playing will be one of them in the near future.)
6. i started surfin porn in p4 and one of the reasons i stopped is it grew boring. (lol. yes. this is true. and in fact, my dad caught me before. ahahaha. but yea. the main reason i stopped is cos its wrong duh. women aren't sex objects. and it'll ruin my idea of women and screw me up. plus vulgarities become worse to deal with, what with all the "f**k" and stuff. but i also did stop cos it grew boring. to mich: i'll take it as a compliment that u picked this as false even though u could have meant that i surfed and stopped not cos its boring)
7. i find school fun only because of friends. (obviously not true. i believe in learning and sch teaches. while we do not always learn everything the teacher teaches, hey we still do learn. lol. sounds so pro-PAP campaigns. ahahaha.)
8. i find sex quite revolting. (this one is true too. while i am a guy and i have surfed porn before, it really kinda revolts me. two naked bodies rubbing against each other and intertwining. somewhat a turnoff even though natural reaction is its a turn-on, as we all are sexual beings)
9. Due to 1 Corinthians 7:8 - 9, i once believed that it would be better not to marry.
"Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion." -1 Corinthians 7:8-9 (so so so definitely true. not sure if its still true but yea)
10. i have pitied the devil before. (yes i have. and i paid for it. don't do it. trust me. ask me about it if ur interested. might not be pleasant for your ears though)
11. i'm scared of commitment. (true true and true. not sure why. but i guess it is due to worry that i might cheat on the person or hurt the person. also because i feel i'm still immature both spiritually and to an extent, mentally, plus i can't really control my feelings well in my opinion.)
12. my favourite television channels are National Geographic Channel and Discovery. (yes it is. call me a nerd or whatever. although nerd doesn't exactly fit what i think of myself cos nerds are smart, really smart. this is true cos liek my dad says "you can't sit there for one hour only", in relation to to those channels. i haven't watched telly properly in ages, but when i do, it'd be that channel man. love those documentaries.)
13. talking good about myself is fine with me. i don't see whats wrong with self-praise. (false. knowing yourself is different from talking bout yourself to me, which is why i find interviews weird. they require that you sell yourself so to speak. and to me thats weird, which is why i have problems saying i'm good at something even though i might agree that i'm either not bad or good. ok. i wanted to mention just 'good' but couldn't cos of the weirdness again. so i added the 'not bad'. bah. whatever. oh and mich just told that she meant to say 8, not 12. which is in effect, what ppl term freaky and what i term interesting... cos i read 8 and thus it explains why i said what i did to mich above +points to 8+)
14. i can't tell if i like anyone as more than a friend. (this point was spoken of briefly in pt 2 so its true. shit i just realised. i put 3 false things. wth. hahahahaha. i'm a dumbass. haha. but that is REALLY queer. i remember putting 5, checking 5. wth. must have deleted them accidentally or some shit. wth. so facking dumb. ahhhh!!!! mind is not functioning these days which makes me even more worried for promos.
15. my parents know jimi hendrix's cousin. (this one is to u all, amazingly i guess, true. they came home telling me and my bro bout it one day, how they went to meet him. i thought they were jokin. but they weren't. and i also though i must have remembered wrongly when i was typing this point 15 down and went to check with my bro. and he remembered them telling us too. anyway. i just asked my dad earlier and he said it was a long time ago that he met him and not to talk bout it. so erm. yea. this post will disappear after a while i guess. maybe. weird that my dad should act like that anyway)

for those who guessed 5 things, i'm sorry i cheated ur feelings. ahhaa. oh. i think i know why i thought i put 5 things down. i wanted to use like the points then negate them so they'd be false. but forgot to. ahahaha. right. silly me. k. i shall stop saying that till promos over. so dun have bad mindset. and for those who guessed, look on the brightside. u had more chances. ahahaha.

k. yea.thats all folks.

other than that, exam period. dun stress. i'll be praying for u. u all please pray for me too yea? specific prayer requests pls tell me or tag it if u dun mind doing that. yep.

buona notte.

i've been tagged

2006-09-19T18:28:00.000+08:00

since moca tagged the whole class, i shall do this.

One. Think of 15 short bits of interesting stuff about yourself. And they've gotta be true.
Two. Come up with 5 false statements regarding yourself, but for fun's sake keep them in the threshold of believability.
Three. Jumble them all up together and list them in any order.
Four. Post them on LJ and let people guess which the five false ones are!
Five. Get 5 others to do the same.

1. i'm interested in eschatology.
2. i've never had a crush before, not that i know of.
3. i find the Bible is actually quite boring to read.
4. i have never gotten pissed off at any friend before, only agitated.
5. i do not really believe everyone has a talent- some ppl just can't seem to do anything.
6. i started surfin porn in p4 and one of the reasons i stopped is it grew boring.
7. i find school fun only because of friends.
8. i find sex quite revolting.
9. Due to 1 Corinthians 7:8 - 9, i once believed that it would be better not to marry.
"Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion." -1 Corinthians 7:8-9
10. i have pitied the devil before.
11. i'm scared of commitment.
12. my favourite television channels are National Geographic Channel and Discovery.
13. talking good about myself is fine with me. i don't see whats wrong with self-praise.
14. i can't tell if i like anyone as more than a friend.
15. my parents know jimi hendrix's cousin.

ok. there. took ages to come up with that.

try find the 5 wrong ones. yea. and i'm taggin all who read this.

ciao.

some updates

2006-09-17T01:40:00.000+08:00

ok. i am really tired. just wanna update a lil on the past few days. been fun. i managed to watch 2 movies in 2 days. yesterday(since now is sun) and the day before. watched litte man and john tucker must die. yea. both silly comedies. yea. for watching when ur bored which is what aaron and i were.

fri
3rd last official day of sch before promos. haiz. supposed to have gp consultations but din cos i din bring my stuff and the others wanted to watch a movie. so i ponned chinese-which probably means the lao shi's happier since i always talk and cause her so much probs. decided between the banquet, a munjen show and little man. by vote(not dollar vote), we decided that it should be little man. but since the show was not immediately, we went to the newly-opened bishan library and played truth or dare.
yea. imagine that. anyway, was interesting la. like i had to go up to these two random girls from whitley and ask them if they noticed if the windows were dancing o.0 funny thing is i did the 'no, seriously' thing when they went 'huh'. in the end i said nvm and walked off, leaving them staring at the windows silly-ly. haha. the other dare shall be kept private to those present. for reasons of stupid comments and erm wrong ideas. yea. then watched the movie whihc was mostly dumb though had a few funny moments. in the end went for cell and enjoyed myself with supper after that with cell ppl. i realised that i have increasingly little things to say to some of them. not sure if thats gd. i seem more at home with my class ppl and close frens of course.

sat
supposed to wake and study. din. felt lazy even though i woke at 8 so went back and slept till 10 plus then got up and headed to sch. in the end, in sch only studied like 3 pgs max. lol. played truth or dare again. haha. since i kept my dare private, i shall keep yiwen's private too. yea. when we went for lunch before that, i was looking at aaron's phone's videos when i cancelled and went back to main screen accidentally and accidentally jacked myself. cos chen xing found out bout the dare. wow. genius. but nvm. oh well. was fun la. then on the way back we filmed yingqing hugging yi wen. as in we held yi wen down and got her to hug him because he says he gets a weird shiver down his spine when girls touch him. not that he's gay la. but it was really funny. this video of him screaming. lol. reminds me of the one we made with me screaming. haha. oh well. then in the end, i couldn't study. went into reflection mode, or rather an enjoy-the-rain-clouds moment. and spent time talking aaron. got to know him better. watched john tucker must die with him at ps later, after dinner where we decided that we would not eat kfc again. cos we saw the disgusting fat in the chicken. just talking bout it makes me kinda nauseous. then we played arcade also(so much for not going out till promos over. okok. that starts now. seriously). we witnessed arcade masters at virtua striker 2. ggxx man. they really really pwned. yea. k thats all

things i really need to do:
1. list of quotes from othello and memorise them
2. 1st 4 weeks of '1000 words'
3. Econs DRQ 3 and CS1
4. practise maths

maybe i should go for the thing at yao qun's house but not help out and study instead, doing work and then watching soccer with them. hmm. gd matches. not sure. hope thats fine with yaoq. k. gtg. really late

if the translator is correct, then di ciao. if not, take care.

something to think about

2006-09-14T23:46:00.000+08:00

ok. before my post, in reply to mich's words that i;d make a poor romance novelist, lol . ok. i wrote that a year ago and had to put the short essay in context so it would fit and iPod desrciption anyway.

right... now that's done, today when i went to school, i was hit by the news that an rj boy had passed away yesterday. i believe that he committed suicide. the thing, up to this present moment, that struck me most is yi wen's words, 'it's hard to pity him when there's others out there who are suffering more than him'. i think its so true. death is not an answer, just a way to run away from all your problems, not face them or solve them. the boy's death is a tragedy and yet a joke, not that it is funny, in how it reflects the failure in our system of education in one aspect and the failure of our respect for life, even our own.

others out there suffer more than ourselves, go through so many things worse than us, so who are we to complain. i don't expect us all to be able to get straight out of our comfort zones, but do we even try to stop complaining when we are faced with trouble? or do we complain and try to run away from the problems? we should learn to face our problems, especially since most of the time they are self-created. reading mich's blog, i'm glad that she realised(not that i thought she was like that) she should face things. we can always rely on God's help in any difficulty. "Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and show thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not." (Jeremiah 33:3)[KJV]

we should also learn to take life more seriously, treating it with more respect. thats something i'm going to start doing- taking pride in doing the things i do, epsecially since i am to be an example to others in the way i live. i know i have a severe problem with punctuality, so to those whom i'm always late for appointments with, i apologise and i am now working on it. but what i mean here is to change our characters, not personalities. each personality is unique, although not all may be good and some may require changes. personally. i think my personality's fine though i have a lot of room for improvement in my character aspect. as i reiterated so many times over, i need faith and discipline. we can all do with trying to improve ourselves, learning to remove ourselves from our comfort zones, to prevent ourselves from taking things for granted, to learn to appreciate friends and things. we could treat life more with respect too, making each choice we make with care and careful consideration and with His help, for we were made in His likeness by Him. we should integrate Him in our lives. for non-Christians, we could learn to respect life in itself; for all, we could begin to live our lives in ways that would leave a lasting legacy to those around us so that others will forever remember us in a positive light, as an example. i can't help but quote Conrad's Heart of Darkness here. to be an 'Emissary of light' in the true sense of it all, to bring light to those in darkness, to bear that torch and pass on the flame that would last beyond our own lifetime.
this reminds me of when i was in primary school and i thought life sucked and felt suicidal, drawing death on a sketch book page with his scythe and his unknown face. the only thing that prevented me from killing myself was the thought that i'd go to hell after. even after that, i used to say that i w"if i could go to heaven if i killed myself now, i'd do it", but now, i can't say it anymore. i have so many things to do, that i intend to achieve in this lifetime, to continue blessing people in ways that i can, to learn and to impart, to humble myself and learn to be proud of my God.
i can say that while i've still got a long race ahead that's filled with moments of dehydration and fatigue, that "This is the only race worth running"(2 Timothy 4:6)[MSG] , that I pray at the end of my time or when God returns first (which I would like to happen in my life, for some reason) that "I've run hard right to the finish, believed all the way"(2 Timothy 4:7)[MSG].

i know that this is a stressful period, during the promotionals and everyone seems to be confronting themselves, finding faults with themselves and perhaps things seem to be going awry, all wrong. trust. have faith and remember that we can claim God's promise to Isaac because of his covenant to Abraham, "...Do not be afraid, for I am with you..."(Genesis 26:24). we should not be afraid of anything. God has provided friends, family, loved ones for us because He knows life is hard and we need support. He Himself is always 'with you'. Pray in times of need and help, He will bring you solace and strength.

so stand strong and stand firm my friends, brothers, sisters.

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize." (1 Corinthians 9:24)[NIV]

i shall end with a song, once again by petra, since i'm a pethead. ok, i changed my mind. shall end with two meaningful and completely applicable songs, both by petra. think shall put chronologically, according to their release since that also seems a gd arrangement.

Creed by Petra [Beyond Belief - 1990]

I believe in God the Father - maker of heaven and earth
And in Jesus Christ His only Son
I believe in the virgin birth
I believe in the Man of Sorrows bruised for iniquities
I believe in the Lamb who was crucified and hung between two thieves

I believe in the resurrection on the third and glorious day
And I believe in the empty tomb and the stone that the angel rolled away
He descended and set the captives free
And now He sits at God's right hand and prepares a place for me

(Chorus)
This is my creed - the witness I have heard
The faith that has endured
This truth is assured
Through the darkest ages past
Though persecuted, it will last
And I will hold steadfast to this creed

I believe He sent His Spirit to comfort and to reveal
To lead us into the truth and light, to baptize and to seal
I believe that He will come back the way He went away
And receive us all unto Himself, but no man knows the day

I believe He is the Judge of all men, small and great
The resurrected souls of men receive from Him their fate
Some to death and some to life, some to their reward
Some to sing eternal praise forever to our Lord

Stand by Petra [Jekyll & Hyde - 2003)

You had a blank stare- there in your easy chair
You watch as things get out of hand
But now your eyes blink and you begin to think
Of what could happen if you stand
You think about the ground you might have lost in this round
Your eyes are open to the things that had you bound
And then you rise up from your sleep and put your foot down
You take one final grasp of air before you drown and take a

(Chorus)
Stand - having done all this
Stand - with emphasis
Stand - no analysis
Even when you don't understand
Put your armor on
Stand on the foundation
Stand - rely upon
The strength that has always been there

And now you stand firm- but not on your own terms
We have no power all alone
But you can feel safe there with your shield of faith
The inner strength in you has grown
And when you draw your sword the enemy is fair game
We're more than conquerors in Jesus' name so take a

(Chorus)

Stand all alone if there's no one around you
Stand on your own
Stand through the night - wait for the morning to bring you the strength
To finish the fight

Stand up tall- Stand or fall
Stand your ground - Don't stand down
Stand connected - Stand corrected
Stand in faith - Stand elected

Goodnight and God bless.

buona notte. arrivederci.

singing belle pt II

2006-09-14T01:37:00.000+08:00

She sits there, humming sweetly, softly, seated of the arm of his chair. She's facing him and he glances across at her and slowly it turns into staring, hypnotised, mesmerized by her immense beauty. He looks at her body, her every curve that is visible and notices how perfect it is. He looks at her face, glowing lightly, and puts his hand around her waist, feeling her skin, smooth as silk and porcelain. He eyes her longingly, before his hand moves deftly. He is quick to remove her pink flowing dress, excitement filling his eyes. Her dress easily slides off her waist and drops to the floor. She, to his knowledge, has never worn underwear and before today, had not seen this side of her, only teases and glimpsed. So it fills him with delight, for today is no exception and he needs not wait any longer to start the appeasing of his need of her personally servicing him. His eyes are filled with a passionate lust as he takes a step back, a hunger for her that needs to be satiated. He draws in a deep breath, as he continues to feast his eyes on what her, standing stark naked but yet amazingly comfortable and at ease before him, a vast difference to his feelings and emotions. He considers of the world's wonders, this spectacular body that made himhot uner the collar everytime he met with her. He smiles, seeing that she is flawless, her body and its every contour so majestic. She seems to be beckoning to him, asking him to be . His hand moves around her body, curiosity piquing. Taking his time, he manoeuvres his hands masterfully and acquaints himself with inch of her skin. He knows she is a work of art, the piece de resistance of all he has had. All the while, she remains silent, not uttering a word, but continues humming in the sweet melodious voice she had been singing in from the start, still pleasing him. As his hands move lower down her waist, and brushes her gently, slowly, she begins to sing louder, uncontrollably, but still belting out those notes clearly. No wonder she's known as the singing belle. He continues his hand's journey even lower, caressing her with touch after touch and she doesn't stop him. Afterall, he listens to her so she listens to him. Each contact between their skin brief.

Her face seems to glow even more as he carries her up in his hands and moves her to his room, where they are out of sight. His hands glide across her lower regions, beyond her navel. With each touch, she grows more uncontrollable and he requests a change in song to add to the atmosphere. She ccomplies and switches to one that's faster-paced. His hands begin to move accordingly to the rhythm and he drums his hands all over her, provding a sensuous massage due to the kneading. She begins to sing more loudly, showing pleasure derived from his magical touch. When he feels she's ready, he shoves his hands into his pants, quickly taking it out, anxious to please her. It already has the rubber on for anticpated this moment since he laid his eyes upon that angelic person she was, and always kept himself ready for this and he is glad he came prepared, for there is no time to waste. After some more feeling and playing, when he feels that he may attract too much attention with the noise she is making as they frolick about, he eases it into her and she suddenly grows silent, her song filling him as his mouths the words to her songs and is overcome with joy beyond anything he has known and he falls asleep, with her deep in his embrace.

After some time, he gets up, helping her dress back up in her pretty pink dress and they walk, with her in his hands.

He loves his Ipod nano, the latest and definitely sexiest thing in town.

Man,don't all us guys just want one? *;) I know I do.
To see this babe in action personally or to enlist her one-of-a-kind high standard services, please call in on her at home. The address is http://www.apple.com.sg
Please note: In case you do not have the same taste as me, someone who likes them petite, there are other beauties available at the same address. No need to thank me. Thank Apple.
P.S: Girls, you know what you need to do now. Not only should you purchase one for yourself so you have someone to cheer you up everytime you are down but you also need to buy us guys one. That way, you'll be prove to us you're not jealous over the beauty of the Ipod and our romance of The Singing Belle. *;)

that was what i wrote last year, 24th September. can make a romance novelist eh. haha. romance novels are full of that-sex. rubbish books. dun waste your time reading. esp the guys, not gd for u. temptations. (which is why i won't post like that again) anyway, nearly a year since that post. and coincidentally, that was roughly when they launched the nano then and they just launched another one. if you all din get it, the 'dress' she was wearing was the rubber(get it) casing u can purchase with the ipod, which now has been replaced with a suede(sweet too) leather casing.

i remembered this cos of the launch of the ipod nano that a schmate told me bout. yea. has 24 hr batt life now man. sweet.

ok. on other things, earlier, jt called me bout a trip to china just at the end of sch that requires me to skip sch and so i asked my parents whether i could skip sch by writing an mc. ggxx. can't believe it. my mum was shocked i wanted to use an mc. and i was shocked she was shocked. seriously. she's never really had qualms, but i guess it is lying still so tmr i asking booth if i can miss sch. i shall try asking them to write a letter instead before i leave for sch in 5 hrs time(i hope). that'll be better. the trip's fully paid plus i know i'll gain from it so yea. i shall learn not to lie even bout this kind of things.

i also started studying already. yay. stayed in sch till 9.45 to study in the raffles rooms. nice place. was real quiet after everyone left. wonderful place to study. was tempted to stay and study then slp. i shall mug there from now till promos. yep. k. i think i shall retire for the night. i pray i wake on time for sch later. crap.

arrivederci.

Pastoring the City

2006-09-10T21:21:00.000+08:00

Ok. I just ate dinner and am rather full. I hung out with Cheng Yun and Ben earlier at Changi Airport after service at expo. I had Ice Kacang. The lady who prepared it gave so much ice and was so messy that she made both ben's and my ice kacang, there was so much ice around, enough to make another one. Oh well. Anyway, it was fun, hanging out with them. Simple pleasures in life. Yippee.

On another note, Promos.... ouch. 15 days i think. Something like that. Oh man. Ok. I promise myself to mug properly. Can't break a promise. Pls pray for me!

Sermon today by Apostle Khong was nice... very inspirational- the way sermons are all meant to be. Sermons seem to have more application to my life after I decided to get serious bout God again and little miracles happen, like in my previous post. So neat. Yea. His sermon was about Serving the Nations. It was interesting today, during service because I was doing intercesssion for the service itself, which meant that during the worship, instead of worshipping all the time, I was also interceding, intercessing for the Lights and Sound crew, the Musicians, the Worship Team, everyone to be able to worship and lose their emotional baggages that they might bring(whether knowingly or not), et cetera. It was all in all a neat experience.

Finally, for those who have me on MSN and have seen my latest nick, 'life is a medley, we're the instruments; learn to play 'em all gladly, music is enjoyment', it came about because lately, like Ryan mentioned, everything seems to have a song or be described by a song and so I though of life as a medley and the nick slowly eventuated because I felt it was too beautiful (yeayea. ego, but i truly love my present nick) to stay as a one-line 'life is a medley, we're the instruments'. So to end off and to reiterate my point on how life seems like a medley to me and is becoming one (man that sounds really lit-esque), here's a song to describe my inspiration and feelings after today's sermon.

Prayer by Petra

First I want to thank You Lord for being who You are
For coming to the rescue of a man who's drifted far
For calling me to be Your son and calling me to serve
Lord the way You've blessed my life is more than I deserve

Keep the ones I love so dearly
Fill their emptiness while I am gone
And fill the loneliness in me

(Chorus)
This is my prayer
Lifted to You
Knowing You care even more than I do
This is my prayer
Lifted in Your name
Your will be done I humbly pray

Let me be the evidence of what Your grace can do
To a generations struggling to find themselves in You
May they come to know the love of God
May their eyes be made to see
Give me the opportunity to share the truth that sets them free
And may unity in all things
Be the banner of Your church
And let revival's fire begin to burn

As we face the last and final hours
Turn a wayward country back to You
And keep us from the evil that devours
Keep us on the path and lead us through
Keep us in Your light until Your kingdom comes
And our work is done

This is my prayer
Lifted to You
Knowing You care so much more than I do
This is my prayer
In Jesus' name
Your will be done I humbly pray
This is my prayer

Hope you enjoyed that. Yea. All those studying for promotionals, jia1 you2!

arrivederci and ci vediamo. (think i got that right... hope i did)

Gods little miracle

2006-09-07T00:11:00.002+08:00

I'm posting this 'cos I would like to share an encoragement to all Christians and those mugging. I was feeling kind of depressed somewhat just now(who wouldn't if all they did was half a chapter of econs in 3days?!) and was talking to my wonderful classmates online and complaining about how I felt so stupid and stressed +points at tagboard for evidence+ I went offline then to try and finish off the chapter and Enli before going offline, said to vent my frustrations on my blog because it helps, but I recalled my first and previous post on venting and I decided it was not a vey nice one and I also wished to get some work done, so I picked up that darned chapter when I realise its rather late and I'm tired; it then dawns on me that I still had qt to do and that I should be committed to doing it, so I promised God that I would spend time with Him before I slept. I then carried on trying to understand my notes when I found myself beginning to doze off(if that counts as sleeping for erm like 1 sec, I'm so sorry God) and so I picked up my qt book, some book jt(my cell leader, dear classmates and other ppl) gave me and then when I turn to the page, I realise I need to read the Bible because the book's caught up with my reading. There and then, I feel like not doing that for a moment(reading the Bible) and just reading what it has to say, so I glanced through it and realised that hey, it says 'What could be impossible for the God that created the universe and everythign in it?' and that just stunned me, so to speak, as it was Him doing it again, making it such that qt is directly relevant to my situation. Then I felt inspired and I read my Bible, the 3 chapters and am now feeling so renewed and refreshed. Thank you God. Thank you.

I hope that inspired some of you and those non-Christian, that that was a good testimony. yea. Oh, ying qing, I know you visit this place sometimes and I hope you read this and take into consideration, serious serious consideration the word planted in my heart to give to you. Take it seriously please. I mean that with all my heart as a friend.

To the others, Christians and non-Christians alike, you can see here now that God is so miraculous and wonderful, almighty and kind in so many ways. He is so good to me; it makes me feel guilty whenever I doubt Him. Thank goodness the end of it all, He's still my wonderful saviour...

I shall put the lyrics of Who Am I by Casting Crowns here. It's one of my favourite songs now. I love it and I love it when I'm close to Him, in His arms, my wonderful saviour.

Who Am I by Casting Crowns

Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.

Who am I?
That the bright and morning star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart.

Not because of who I am,
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who you are.

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,(ocean)
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.
I am yours. I am yours.

Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again.
Who am I?
That the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me.

I am yours. I am yours.
Whom shall I fear? Whom shall I fear?
'Cause I am yours. I am yours.

I pray I'll always walk with You...

Some Self-reflection

2006-09-05T23:40:00.000+08:00

I was going to post something about love to me seeming like its overrated but I found something more intellectual or relevant to myself and so I shall blog bout that instead.

I realised while talking to people that I do not carry myself well. I portray an image or first impression that is not very pleasant in nature. In short, I do not present myself in such a manner that is a positive testament to those around me, as a person and especially as a Christian. I give the impression of a lackadaisical jock.

When I read(not heard) that on the MSN window, I was more puzzled than shocked. Firstly, I believe jocks have to be hot. haha. Ok, but seriously speaking, I do not know why I give off that impression. I may not be enthusiastic about my schoolwork, but I do put in some effort and I believe the way that I talk to others should at least somewhat reflect that I have morals, values, things that I actually deem wrong when others do not.

In light of that, I shall try from now on to be a positive example to others, to put in effort in my work and discipline myself. I honestly find it thoroughly disappointing that I reflect something so horrendously negative. It's appalling. Hmm. Did I spell that right? Anyway, I shall take this as a lesson learnt.

Please tag on ways I can improve myself, thanks. For those seriously unhappy about me, please voice it out. Thanks. I could do with some constructive criticism to help my imperfect self here. As to those unhappy about my face, I'm utterly sorry and apologise in advance because I can't do anything about it.

On other matters, please pray, seriously about my studies. I need severe discipline and strength to study. The stuff does not seem to be getting in. God, in you I trust and deliver the examinations, the results.

Buona notte.

yet more quizzes

2006-09-02T00:29:00.000+08:00

for thsoe of you sick of seeing quizzes on my blog already, pls stop reading this post. its on yet more quizzes again. lol. yea. i'll stop... soon i hope. with thsi stupid thing mich got the class started on. turd....

Your Observation Skills Get A C-

You tend to notice the big things in life...
But the details aren't exactly your forte

How Observant Are You?

er yea. thanks.

Your Power Level is: 71%

You're a very powerful person, and you know that all of your power comes from within.
Keep on doing what you're doing, and you'll reach your goals.

How Powerful Are You?

ok. you know what. i feel like stopping already. this post ends here.

wen loong has been bored

2006-09-01T09:22:00.000+08:00

You Are a Chow Puppy

Don't fence me in!
You're an independent spirit that won't be tied down.

What Breed of Puppy Are You?

ahhhh.... what a picture.... lol. ohwell. but what happened to greyhound?!

You Are 53% American

Most times you are proud to be an American.
Though sometimes the good ole US of A makes you cringe
Still, you know there's no place better suited to be your home.
You love your freedom and no one's going to take it away from you!

How American Are You?

oh. not bad... doth my green card cometh?

You Are 72% Open Minded

You are a very open minded person, but you're also well grounded.
Tolerant and flexible, you appreciate most lifestyles and viewpoints.
But you also know where you stand firm, and you can draw that line.
You're open to considering every possibility - but in the end, you stand true to yourself.

How Open Minded Are You?

always thought i was rather open minded....

Who Should Paint You: M.C. Escher

Open and raw, you would let your true self show for your portrait.
And even if your painting turned out a bit dark, it would be honest.

What Artist Should Paint Your Portrait?

again no idea who he is. wait. lets try the quiz again, but say i want colour in it. afterall, i might want colour in it. and kandinsky painted with colour. haha.

Who Should Paint You: Pablo Picasso

Your an expressive soul who shows many emotions, with many subtleties
Only a master painter could represent your glorious contradictions

What Artist Should Paint Your Portrait?

ooh.... a picasso. one more change. that life is not worth living without unique experiences. and then after that unique experience one but with black and white.

Who Should Paint You: Pablo Picasso

Your an expressive soul who shows many emotions, with many subtleties
Only a master painter could represent your glorious contradictions

What Artist Should Paint Your Portrait?

oooh. still picasso. k. change the other option.

Who Should Paint You: M.C. Escher

Open and raw, you would let your true self show for your portrait.
And even if your painting turned out a bit dark, it would be honest.

What Artist Should Paint Your Portrait?

this guy again. think i'll google him later.

What Your Face Says

At first glance, people see you as driven and ambitious.

Overall, your true self is reserved and logical.

With friends, you seem logical, detached, and a bit manipulative.

In love, you seem mysterious and interesting.

In stressful situation, you seem like you're oblivious to the stress.

What Do People Think Of Your Face?

i totally dun get this one, like the face derivation.reminds me of phrenology, but errr ok....

You Are 74% Grown Up, 26% Kid

Congratulations, you are definitely quite emotionally mature.
Although you have your moments of moodiness, you're usually stable and level headed.

How Emotionally Mature Are You?

oooh. the pic... nice bustier. hahaha.

What Your Sleeping Position Says

You are confident and ready to tackle life.
You are pretty vain and happy with your physical appearance.
You are born to be the center of attention, and you're unhappy on the sidelines.
You're always up for trying something new - in and out of bed!

What Does Your Sleeping Position Say About You?

that reveals my egocentric mind.

Your Career Personality: Capable, Friendly, and Energetic

Your Ideal Careers:

Actor
Advertising Executive
Artist
Counselor
Entrepreneur
Musician
Politician
Psychologist
Teacher
Television Reporter

The Quick and Dirty Career Test

i see things i like! actor! artist! counsellor! entrepeneur! musician! psychologist! teacher! nice.... especially actor, artist and musician!

Your Summer Ride is a Beetle Convertible

Fun, funky, and a little bit euro.
You love your summers to be full of style and sun!

What's Your Summer Ride?

turtle car! +smack+ chope!

You Are 16% Control Freak

There's no way you're a control freak. You're totally laid back - and able to take life as it comes.
While you definitely have a healthy mental attitude, don't get suckered into letting someone control you.

Are You A Control Freak?

nothing to say bout this one. no ideas.

You Are a Mermaid

You are a total daydreamer, and people tend to think you're flakier than you actually are.
While your head is often in the clouds, you'll always come back to earth to help someone in need.
Beyond being a caring person, you are also very intelligent and rational.
You understand the connections of the universe better than almost anyone else.

What Mythological Creature Are You?

lmao. haha. anyway, there was an english mistake in this one for one of the questions. it read what do you do when things good bad in your life. lol.

You Are Spider-Man

Quick and agile, you have killer instincts (literally).
And that kind of makes up for the whole creepy spider thing.

What Superhero Are You?

ok. so i wore the wrong suit last time. lol.couldn't decide if i wanted to see things others couldn't. that just made it sound like i could see demons. not sure if i want that.

Your Kissing Purity Score: 89% Pure

You've hardly ever been kissed

But the kisses you've given are very missed

Kissing Purity Test

ok. this one is gay. hahaha. i've only actually kissed a guy. hahahaha. joseph ling in p4. cos we were playing soccer and he was like anyone who comes near he would kiss, but me being me din care. haha. and i spat after that. lol. so it's been missed? thats gay. hahahaha

You Are Very Honest

You tell it like it is, no matter what.
Even if the truth hurts, you'll dish it out.
And while some may get hurt by your honesty...
At least everyone knows where you stand!

How Honest Are You?

lol. i am? maybe i am. but my mum says i'm a liar. a very good one.

You Should Get a MFA (Masters of Fine Arts)

You're a blooming artistic talent, even if you aren't quite convinced.
You'd make an incredible artist, photographer, or film maker.

What Advanced Degree Should You Get?

i am assuming artist here to include 'artiste'. haha.

k. i shall go now. gonna watch devil wears prada with abby trees. then meet the class. darn. that reminds me. i need to start saving money and managing my accts properly. i can't go on this way.

k.

ciao.

more quizzes!

2006-09-01T00:17:00.000+08:00

ok. i was bored. so more quiz results

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Your English Skills:

Grammar: 60%

Punctuation: 60%

Spelling: 60%

Vocabulary: 60%

Does Your English Cut the Mustard?

lol. my engrand velly sucks.

Your Birthdate: January 25

You excel at anything difficult or high tech.
In other words, you're a total (brilliant) geek.
It's difficult for you to find people worth spending time with.
Which is probably why you'll take over the world with your evil robots!

Your strength: Your unfailing logic

Your weakness: Loving machines more than people

Your power color: Tan

Your power symbol: Pi

Your power month: July

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

this is so fake. i treasure people the most. I'm high 'I'. duh...

Your Sexy Brazilian Name is:

Pele Oliveira

What's Your Sexy Brazilian Name?

cool. pele.... i like... haha. and a capoeira pic! neat!

You Are a Kinetic Learner

You learn best by doing, and you have a talent for complicated, physical tasks.
You excel at athletics, drama, and fixing things.
You would be an excellent Olympic athlete - or a Broadway star!

What's Your Learning Style?

cool... action bedeh! lol i dun even know what i just said. just seems like an apt expression.

Your EQ is 127

50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick!
51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese.
71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely.
91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that.
111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt.
131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin.
150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

What's Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)?

i like the thing on having better luck understanding chinese despite that not being my point. haha.

You Have Your Sarcastic Moments

While you're not sarcastic at all times, you definitely have a cynical edge.
In your opinion, not all people are annoying. Some are dead!
And although you do have your genuine moments, you can't help getting your zingers in.
Some people might be a little hurt by your sarcasm, but it's more likely they think you're hilarious.

How Sarcastic Are You?

welll... sarah finds my cyniscism hilarious.

You Communicate With Your Ears

You love conversations, both as a listener and a talker.
What people say is important to you, and you're often most affected by words, not actions.
You love to hear complements from others. And when you're upset, you often talk to yourself.
Music is very important to you. It's difficult to find you without your iPod.

How Do You Communicate?

the ipod thing would be true if my bro din lose the ipod transfer cable... or someone misplaced it.... and it would be especially true if i had more space on the ipod or and ipod video.

Your Learning Style: Personal and Passionate

You are very flexible and curious about the world. Human understanding is very important to you.

You Should Study:

Anthropology
Architecture
Art
Art history
Art therapy
Classics
Counseling
Foreign Languages and Literature
International Studies
Linguistics
Literature
Psychology
Sociology
Teaching

What Should You Study?

this must be inaccurate. no 'music' listed... haha.

Your Extroversion Profile:

Cheerfulness: Very High

Friendliness: Very High

Assertiveness: High

Sociability: Medium

Activity Level: Low

Excitement Seeking: Low

How Extroverted Are You?

i'm sure i dun seek exciting times.... as if...anf i dun think i'm assertive.

Your Taste in Music:

Classic Rock: High Influence
Adult Alternative: Medium Influence
80's Rock: Low Influence
90's Alternative: Low Influence
90's R&B: Low Influence

How's Your Taste in Music?

i'd say i have to agree with this one quite a lot. almost completely. just that vai, petrucci, anberlin, U2 etc not listed.

You Are Best Described By...

From the Lake, No. 1
by Georgia O'Keeffe

What Famous Work of Art Are You?

never heard of the artist or painting before, but neat... its nice...

You Are 25% Normal

You sure do march to your own beat...
But you're so weird, people wonder if it's a beat at all
You think on a totally different wavelength
And it's often a chore to get people to understand you

How Normal Are You?

errr... ouch? lol. i thought it'd be higher. at lesat 40% since my weird one is 60%.
maybe its the part where they asked if i'm comfortable having someone in the room when i am in the bathroom. i took it as in a room, but not the bathroom.

Your Old Fashioned Name Is...

Gilbert Throckmorton

What's Your Old Fashioned Name?

wonder how they derived that from 'Loong'. hmmm.

What You Really Think Of Your Friends

Jt is your soulmate.

You truly love Joshua.

You consider Joel your true friend.

You know that Ryann is always thinking of you.

You'll remember Mich for the rest of your life.

You secretly think Aaron is creative, charming, and a bit too dramatic at times.

You secretly think that Ally is colorful, impulsive, and a total risk taker.

You secretly think that Yiwen is loyal and trustworthy to you. And that Yiwen changes lovers faster than underwear.

You secretly think Jishun is shy and nonconfrontational. And that Jishun has a hidden internet romance.

What Do You Think of Your Friends?

ahahahahaha. that was really really dumb. i so do not think that of my frens.

You Are 16% Cynical

Cynical? Not even close! If anything, you're a bit naive.
Overall, you enjoy life and try not to be paranoid. Even if you've been burned before.

How Cynical Are You?

nother one thats not too bad.

You Are 16% Cynical

Cynical? Not even close! If anything, you're a bit naive.
Overall, you enjoy life and try not to be paranoid. Even if you've been burned before.

How Cynical Are You?

not sure what to say...

You Are More Mild Than Wild

You're confident, and you really aren't concerned with how "hot" you are.
Other people's ideas of what's sexy don't concern you. And this is exactly what makes you attractive.

Are You Hot?

lol...

Exotic Dancer Name Is...

Ginger

Exotic Dancer Name Generator

bet this was a 'for girls' quiz. hahaa.

You Should Be a Dancer

You have a unique combination of grace and athleticism..
Whether you become a salsa dancer or a ballerina, you need to get dancing!

What Sort of Artist Should You Be?

i wanna learn to break and learn capoeira!

You Should Learn Spanish

For you, learning a language is about career advancement and communication.
Knowing Spanish will bring you tons of possiblities for jobs and travel. Bárbaro!

What Language Should You Learn?

ok. thats all. lol. maybe not thats all so nonchalantly cos thats a lot but whatever.

buona notte.

i'm back

2006-08-29T21:31:00.000+08:00

oh ok. went blog surfin. and i am back with quiz/survey results. shit. i am supposed to be doing lit. crap. haven't started. ok. see if i can make this quick.

You Are 60% Weird

You're so weird, you think you're *totally* normal. Right?
But you wig out even the biggest of circus freaks!

How Weird Are You?

i guess that proves i AM weird. haha. lol. like terese said. haha.

Your Seduction Style: Fantasy Lover

You know that ideal love that each of us dreams of from childhood? That's you!
Not because you posess all of the ideal characteristics, but because you are a savvy shape shifter.
You have the uncanny ability to detect someone's particular fantasy... and make it you.

You inspire each person to be an idealist and passionate, and you make each moment memorable
Even a simple coffee date with you can be the most romantic moment of someone's life
By giving your date exactly what he or she desires, you quickly become the ideal lover.

Your abilities to make dreams come true is so strong, that you are often the love of many people's lives.
Your ex's (and even people you have simply met or been friends with) long to be yours.
No doubt you are the one others have dreamed of... your biggest challenge is finding *your* dream lover.

What Kind of Seducer Are You?

lol. is yiwen's better? lol. oh well. i'm not au natural then. haha. and i guess this is somewhat true from how i see it, as in the 'you often want to be the love of many people's lives'. oh wait. thats not what it said. lol. ok. but i do la, as in i mean that i try to fulfil what people look for in their dream partners(i'm talking bout the girls, duh, although could apply to guys, seriously...) as i really believe that'd make me the best that i can be and that serves God and pleases Him. please read that right. its not 'trying to be the love of others' lives that pleases Him', but the wanting to be as good as you can be.

You Are Boston

Both modern and old school, you never forget your roots.
Well educated and a little snobby, you demand the best.
And quite frankly, you think you are the best.

Famous people from the Boston area: Conan O'Brien, Ben Affleck, New Kids on the Block

What American City Are You?

after i clicked 'results', i moved over to the tab with Nivi's blog on it and then returned. i was telling myself i'd laugh if it said Boston and hey! guess what... haha. YES! whoo! Boston...! whoo! those who dunno why i'm so happy bout that, ask. lol. on msn. yea. if not, like Mich said, Fate? More like affinity. wait was that the exact quote? dunno. but yea. I think God really has plans for me. *=)
lol. i just realised. i saw Boston and i was happy already. lol. but hey! am i really snobby.and do i think i'm the best? i dun think so. unless my ego's talking. but i dun let it. so yea. hope not.

American Cities That Best Fit You::

70% Austin

70% Honolulu

65% Atlanta

60% Denver

60% Las Vegas

Which American Cities Best Fit You?

noooo. this dun follow the previous one...

People Envy Your Compassion

You have a kind heart and an unusual empathy for all living creatures. You tend to absorb others' happiness and pain.
People envy your compassion, and more importantly, the connections it helps you build. And compassionate as you are, you feel for them.

What Do People Envy About You?

lol. same as enli.

You Are An ENFP

The Inspirer

You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends.
You are also unconventional, irreverant, and unimpressed by authority and rules.
Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives.
You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're quite the storyteller!

You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.

What's Your Personality Type?

cool. i like that... inspirer... lol and i corrected the thing. it spelt 'quite' as 'quiet' or something. lol

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to obedience and warmth.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage something you've always wanted... though you haven't really thought about it.

In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

i think this one's quite true. anyway, one of the questions was about if u were an animal what would u be. lol dog, duh. thats like me now. haha.

Your Love Element Is Metal

In love, you inspire and respect your partner.
For you, love is all about fusing together for one incredible life experience.

You attract others with wit and a bit of flash.
Your flirting style is defined by making others want and value you.

Greatness and optimism are the cornerstones of your love life.
You may let go too easily, but you never get weighed down by your past.

You connect best with: Earth

Avoid: Fire

You and another Metal element: will control and smother each other

What Element Is Your Love?

lol. i believe in these elements crap, but yea. for fun. was on yiwen's blog.
one question was which season do u have you most romantice experiences. lol. summer. duh. hahaha.

darn. that took LONG. shit okok. shower, do lit and sleep. crap. sleeping late again. pffft.

buona notte.

about the previous post...

2006-08-29T21:09:00.000+08:00

oh yea. i realised that since the quiz below says that i am italian for my inner european, then i am one more step to becoming like the 'little italian virtuoso'. whoo!

on other random thoughts, i realise that God comes to us in different ways. that's the one thing i learnt today and that is what i wanted to do-post bout one thing i learnt every post, if possbile everyday.

I believe God spoke to me just now bout someone, how he wants her to return to Him. I'll go to talk to her bout it. non lo so.

buona notte.

what's your inner european

2006-08-27T01:11:00.000+08:00

Your Inner European is Italian!

Passionate and colorful.
You show the world what culture really is.

Who's Your Inner European?

found that on mich's blog. i just knew it'd be italian when i picked that i like pasta and that i wanted a ferrari for a dream car... they were the best choices available for those questions.yea. i went to my ex-class' gathering. quite fun. i shall talk bout it nother time in detail if i remember. k.

good night.

buona notte.

things i can learn from my classmates

2006-08-23T20:53:00.000+08:00

i'm gonna post something that I feel about and I'm doing it 'cos I felt like posting and have no idea what to post. It's also partially because I don't want to start work yet.
but before i start, the following was from jishun's blog which was from enli's blog. so yea. did for fun.

Loong --

[noun]:

A master of storytelling

hmmm. am i really...

Wen Loong --

[adjective]:

Like in nature to a train-riding hobo

'a train-riding hobo'?! what in Venus' penis is that. haha. lol. k. thats a bad 'rhyme'. haha.

Lau Wen Loong --

[noun]:

A poltergeist sent back in time to change the course of history forever

lol. that was rich. haha.

illyricium --

[noun]:

A person who makes a living suing celebrities

decided to throw in pseudonyms as well. and darn. i'd be rich for this one. but considering how i wanna be a kind of celebrity next time, kinda weird. lets see the result of the next one.

dog --

[adjective]:

Visually addictive

man. their dicitonary must suck. doesn't even know what a dog is... and that is so NOT true. lol. i bet aaron finally has something to reply too now, considering he says my posts are profound and he has no idea how to say anything.

Grey --

[adjective]:

Smelling like turnips at all times

wow... i tried that cos i thought having that as a name'd be cool, thus u see it on my nick, but that is some serious b.o man.

Lau --

[noun]:

A person who has the ability to be invisible

lol. if i had this, susan storm'd be my girl. lol. haha. and jessica alba, here i come. no. not to go look at her nude. thats dumb. i'd just use it to show off and shit. or scare ppl. haha.

ok. enough bullshit. on to my actual post.

Things I can learn from my classmates in A01D(who rock btw) or were previously from the class
i shall be do a grace and post it alphabetically.

Aaron
Although he's really vulgar and seems to tell people they can 'f**k off'(quote from the guy himself), he's really a good friend. He tries to be nice to all and can (though he doesn't seem the sort) help you out if you need help. He has interesting insights, considering his many experiences. I can learn increase my insights to life from him.

Alison
A very cheerful (i must add this) little girl who's mostly smiling. She can be very egoistic (half-joking) but is fun-loving and a self-professed bimbo, but she' supportive of the class and loves the class lots. She's also quite hyperactive. I can learn how to smile always from her.

Carmen
I don't talk much to her, but she seems like one with a strong character, who also has her soft side at the same time. I can learn the characteristic of strength in different cicumstances from her.

Chen Xing
The newest member of our class who transferred from Pioneer(good choice I say and he proclaims so too). Although he has not integrated completely into our class culture yet, he's uniquely different in a positive way and is humble. He knows something called self-control, something I desperately need. I can learn the self-control this guy has.

Enli
I must admit I wasn't too fond of this little vulture at first, but I grew to be. She's very mature in her actions and for someone our age. She was the person I'm was referring to when I talked about being responsible. I seriously admire her. She's smart too.

Grace
The self-denying perfectionist who is absurdly neat and tidy. Although she seems slightly odd, she's not and she can play music real well from what I know. Something I am aiming to do with the guitar. She's got this really interesting laughter that she shares with Sarah. She's also very good at literature. I can learn to be fastidious from her.

Jishun
The smallest guy in class but he has a big character and I've neve seen him get angry, not even annoyed. He's really patient and puts up with my asking questions during math. He's also sporting and funny. I can learn to patience from him.

Marcus
He's the dota freak in class. I'm not sure how good he is, but he'lol definitely kick my ass, anyone does. He's good at piano too and despite seemingly being commanding and demanding at times, he really is quite a nice guy. He wants the best for the class and is also quite smart. If he wants to do something well and puts his mind to it, he will keep doing so till he gets it right, as seen from his playing the piano so much on one song to perfect it. I can learn being dedicated to the causes I have in mind from this guy.

Michelle
She's often made fun of for being anorexic though she really isn't and actually does eat quite a bit. Anyway, she's mighty fun and one of the most interesting characters in class. She's fun to talk to and thinks before she speaks as I recall through a particular incident when Nivi came and told us to sign a petition on doing away with pw, then she said its actually useful, but not in its present state, so it should just be improved upon; myself, on the other hand, when to go sign immediately, before realising upon 2nd thought that I agree with her. I can learn how to stop and think, considering my actions before carrying them out from this girl.

Nivi
I also need to get to know her better, but I think she's quite sporty, playing basketball with the guys. Not all girls would do that and also, she gets things done; she's in my pw group and she keeps us on the ball. I can learn being on the ball and being able to finish my given tasks on time from her.

Rachel
She's the female rocker of our class now that Nat's gone. Speaking of Nat, I didn't include her because I really don't know her at all, but she's nice from what I know. Anyway, Rachel is serving in her church's worship ministry and I respect that because it takes guts to perform in front of others and also because she giving back to God with what God has blessed her with-a seriously good voice. She's also violent at times though. haha. Yiwen would know. I can learn how to give back to God with what He has blessed me with from her.

Sarah
The class' 'mother'. Haha. Seriously though, I admire her for her ability to stand sure and stedfast(lol. BB motto) in her non-conforming ways in regards to not cursing or swearing. Although sometimes she comes across as naggy, I believe she's a good influence despite her crazy laughter she shares with Grace. She is unafraid to stand for what she believes in. I can learn that from her.

Sindhu
I remember her craziness during the senior class party and her OCD ways, not using the public toilet because it'd dirty and being really scared of library books because their disgustingly and horrendously dirty. Speaking of the class party, I remember she freaked Yiwen out by wanting to give him a peck on the cheek because she felt so loving. She then proceeded to give Aaron and I one. Lol. I've never been been given a peck prior to that. Haha. She's funny and a cool person to hang around, able to amuse herself. She's witty and humorous. I can learn how to hang loose from her, enjoying my friens' company.

Sophia
The maths genius and the one bearing the nickname 'Lady of Wisdom'. She's a really good girl and its interesting that I've found out she can be crappily fun too, despite being seemingly serious. She's good at chinese and has interesting analogies like how she realised that we should be able to factorise God from the various aspects of our lives; that echoes my belief of 'If God' not the God of every part of your life, He's not the God of your life at all'. She's vey disciplined and focused, gets her work done. I can learn that from her. I can also learn frugality from her.

Weiren
Most 'screwable guy in class'. Haha. He speaks worse chinese than me, but that's because he speaks french instead. He's from my church and enjoys sports. He is fun to hang around. I can learn French from him. hahahaha. lol. Jokes aside, I can learn how to be hardworking from him.

Ying Qing
Most 'screwable girl in class'. Lol. Parallels weiren. mmmm.... hahaha. She's cool because for a girl, she plays soccer and watches soccer. She's also funky because she took higher chinese and speak italian and french too. She's got a lot of suitors. Haha. She's quite guarded but a good friend indeed. She can see the nicest things in people and is accomodating. I can learn how to see the best in others from her.

Yiwen
He's the most 'AC'-ish RI boy in class and is sporting. He's really good at KI too, seeing he nearly topped or topped the class. He's really smart too, considering all his life he's never really mugged. He considers studying to be reading through the notes the night before exams. He's also great to be around. He's playful and enjoys simple pleasures in life, something I can learn to do.

Zhao Feng
The top student in class. Ironically, he's placed last here. Man, I've been doing this lit-esque thing a lot lately, drawing similarities to lit in so many things and playing with puns. Anyway, he's conscientious and a good CT rep, responsible and kind. I can learn those character traits from him.

Yea. I didn't wanna do a whole like remember this remember that post. That I'll do after prom or something on the class blog and here, but I just thought of it that day that I should learnt at least one thing from each person I know, for that's a whole load of experiences and I should take the best I can from them; also, by putting this down, they'll know that I respect them. Yep.Ok. Done for now.

Goodnight.

be positive

2006-08-19T12:32:00.000+08:00

right. ok. just woke up half an hour ago. and after sleep i feel better compared to yesterday. days like yesterday come once in a while i guess and i'm quite happy i didn't lose my temper at anyone although i got annoyed at marc. sorry marc.

since yesterday's post was so negative i shall make this one a positive one. afterall, in retrospect, i don't like the idea of the previous post. i've never really had a liking for anything negative. so, there are several things i shall impose on myself now. from now on, each post should have a lesson learnt from the day because i am a believer that we should learn something each day although i don't always follow it.

one thing i learnt today: sleep always helps to clear your mind (in my case at least).

thanks to all those who have read the post and wrote me something. yep. i guess in that sense i'm perfectionistic. *is there such a word? hmmm* anyway, i feel better, so much better today. other than my cough being still there and my throat hurting more and my nose being still blocked-all that as a result of sleeping late for a week. and by late i mean 3am- then i am a lot better. i have many things to accomplish this weekend and i am now on a quest to be diligent in my work again. the neverending quest we all(i'm assuming we're all gd students xD)always upon.

in my aim to always try and be thankful to God, here's a song that's beautiful(no pun intended as you will see why) and the first song i thought of when i told myself that today is a good day to get things done.

Beautiful Day by U2

The heart is a bloom, shoots up through the stony ground
There's no room, no space to rent in this town
You're out of luck and the reason that you had to care,
The traffic is stuck and you're not moving anywhere.
You thought you'd found a friend to take you out of this place
Someone you could lend a hand in return for grace

It's a beautiful day, the sky falls
And you feel like it's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away

You're on the road but you've got no destination
You're in the mud, in the maze of her imagination
You love this town even if that doesn't ring true
You've been all over and it's been all over you

It's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away
It's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away

Touch me, take me to that other place
Teach me, I know I'm not a hopeless case

See the world in green and blue
See China right in front of you
See the canyons broken by cloud
See the tuna fleets clearing the sea out
See the Bedouin fires at night
See the oil fields at first light
And see the bird with a leaf in her mouth
After the flood all the colors came out

It was a beautiful day
Beautiful day
Don't let it get away

Touch me, take me to that other place
Reach me, I know I'm not a hopeless case

What you don't have you don't need it now
What you don't know you can feel it somehow
What you don't have you don't need it now
You don't need it now, you don't need it now

Beautiful day

bitching session.

2006-08-19T00:33:00.000+08:00

i'm sorry but this is a post for half-bitching, so those of you who can't stand it, please refrain from reading it. i just need an outlet for my feelings. i shall use this blog to remove anger and bad feelings. so i dun do it on others.

i do not understand why i bother tryin to help others when i cannot even properly help myself. i get myself involved in situations in which are sticky and potentially fata, where friendships could end up severed and twisted and turn sour. i don't know why i do this. i don't like saying the things i do that helps others, but i sometimes need to and it sucks. it feels so egoistic. i can't stand how others take me for granted, even my best friends sometimes. or maybe i'm imagining all these things. my egocentric mind could have been falsely telling me how i'm doing great things when i am doing something basic. it fills me up and i believe that i'm better than others. i hope not. i really do think that some of these things i do are basic in nature, but then no one seems to agree with me as revealed through their actions. maybe i'm so bad at reading people's body language that i can't tell properly and that maybe i'm hallucinating all these things. i seem to always be hurting others feelings-my family, friends, loved ones; i can never get hurt. i am to sit and take verbal and mental stress abuse and obscenity and profanity thats hurled my way. i'm the most imperfect person in the world. i seem to lose things so often. its the reason my family doens't trust me. i spend too much money and am always broke. i can't save, unlike others, unlike my classmate who can survive on 100bucks a month for all threie meals for the whole month. i get some meals and i get 250-300bucks. i complain to myself, sometimes others that i don't get enough pocket money. i feel like a dick. the same classmate works and earns her own money because she partly helps to support her household. i can't even manage my work properly. she got 6pts for O's, working through it. i, like the hypocrictical megalomaniacal bitch that i am, sat on my fat dumb ass and didn't study hard enough. i got 10pts. i ought to be ashamed. ppl say i am smart and sometimes, though i may not admit, i think so too. but i waste it away. yet through all this, i also help around the house when i can, or remember to or am nagged at when my bro(no offence to him. maybe i dun understand him as an elder bro should. which also proves i'm a bad elder bro) doesn't seem to do shit. it may sound funny to some, but i am the one that washes the darn bathroom because he doesn't seem to realise it actually gets dirty. bahhhh... i have to iron his clothes at times too. i iron my own too. i can't believe it. but then again, i also answr back at my mum, like the perfect disobedient son. haha. the irony in that oxymoron. i can't believe how i can't just do those things without feeling unhappy.anyway, i give my mum a hard time, not being the son she wants me to be, using the comp so often and not studying. yet if i were the son she wants me to be, i feel i would not be myself. she wants a real mugger son, who doesn't go online at his friend's plaec because to her thats a disgrace, who doesn't reply the teacher in jest for that's rude, who doesn't complain or snap back when she's clearly in the wrong because he's supposed to respect her, who doesn't protest when she makes fun of God, makes fun of him, makes fun of his friends, in whom he often finds so much solace. i can't please my parents, giving them undue stress. i don't call back everytime i change my mind on what i'm doing when out with friends. i take too long in the shower, study too little, use the comp too much, talk on the phone too much, stink after exercise. i can't believe i'm writing all this stuff but i'm really annoyed. i can't believe the way i'm expected to medite fights between friends and family. i can't believe the way that i'm expected to be the one to do something despite believing in Gandhi's saying 'Be the change you want to see in the world'. I can't believe how i set out to achieve so many things but never get them done and how i break so many promises. i can't believe how i take so long to learn things nowadays when i understood most things in a minute when i was younger. i can't believe the way i'm at the receiving end of true sarcasm, remarks that sting like salt on a wound as a result of being soaked in cynicism. i can't believe i let myself put up with it. i can't believe that i'm such a violent person when truly angered and i can't believe how i can't believe all these things. i can't believe the amount of patience i'm expected to have, the tolerance with which i put up despsite friends doing things that severly annoy me. i hate the way which things are so complicated. complicated things are fascinating but they annoy too and can hurt. i dislike the way i sometimes try to be someone i am not. i dislike the way that i can't do many things. i dislike politics especially in churches and i dislike severely disunity in the body of Christ. i dislike how i others can't seem to help me in my probs and how others utilise my kindness. i hate the way how egoistic that last sentence sounded. i dislike how i am weird and yet i like it. i dislike how others expect me to help them out at their beckon and i listen and give in. i dislike how they utilise their positions as friends. i like and dislike how i've never really lost my temper at a friend for i dislike that very scary and potentially dangerous side of me. i can't stand how i am not even allowed to type this post as a way of releasing frustration and annoyance. its not a good testimony to non-believers i think and my mum doesn't like me on the comp. i dislike how i want to use vulgarities but its wrong. i dislike how so many things are give and take. i dislike how i always seem to take(others tell me i keep taking) but never seem to give despite having felt that i give so much it hurts so bad sometimes. i dislike it all. i dislike being longwinded and yet it helps sometimes. i dislike the way i got i disnjured by playing soccer and someone injuring me and having had an injury-riddent year and not being to give rj a gd performance at nationals. i dislike the way i give others a poor impression of myself. arrgh.

forget it. it's a neverending list. life is a test. i want to pass it. i want to score well in it. argh. nvm. i have to learn with it. it'll happen whether i like it or not.

i shall try harder.

i shall work harder.

i shall strive for perfection despite it not ever being attainable. perhaps its summed up byt what JT said. "Lead a balanced life".

it sucks to be me sometimes. you get misunderstood and you get blamed. you blamee yourself.

but yet i think it rocks to be me. I thank God for me. i truly have uniqure experiences. I believe they helped me to grow.

God bless.

ps: it u made it here, thanks. u probably know me better now or are confused severely. either way, pls pray for me about faith, discipline, good stewardship. thanks.

pw

2006-08-17T00:24:00.000+08:00

you can ignore this post. using my blog as space for pw stuff cos my mac something wrong i think. save the documents cannot send. grrr. so pasted my survey here so nivi can take it.

Master Ousado from The First Official Association of Capoeira Argola de Ouro (Singapore)
1. What made you take up Capoeira?
It provides training in coordination of the body and helps to increase one’s control of the mind. It also teaches one patience. Capoeira also appealed to me because its community consists of beautiful people. I also got to learn more about my Brazilian culture as Capoeira is an integral part of it.

2.How, in your opinion, has Singapore’s response to martial arts, especially Capoeira been?
Every culture has its own ‘capoeira’. Capoeira in Singapore is still infantile in its nature. It requires more locals to become proper qualified coaches. It requires locals to learn Capoeira properly and achieve qualification. When those are set in motion, I believe Singapore’s Capoeira scene can be vibrant.

3. What made you choose to come over to Singapore?
I was the first master to introduce Capoeira to the United Kingdom in 1990, a good 16 years ago. It eventually grew in popularity. I saw that Singapore had no Capoeira and so decided to come down to introduce it here too.

4. What do you think can be done to increase the popularity of martial arts, specifically Capoeira?
Capoeira in Brazil is the second most famous sport after soccer and it is also considered a national pastime. There are many competitions held and the same can be done for Singapore as that would increase the awareness of its existence. Capoeira is going to be introduced into the Olympics in 4 years time and with that, its popularity would definitely increase. The media also has to cover it in its programmes and support it as that would reach out to the masses. That would be similar to the BBC’s role in the rise in popularity of Capoeira is the UK.

5. Do you think Capoeira would benefit the students if its was introduced in schools?
Of course. It would improve the way they lived their lives, especially their school live and it would help them to destress, relax. I was very playful and mischievous before practising Capoeira, but after i started, it improved my discipline and changed my lifestyle.

6. Would you say that there is a shortage of trained professionals in Capoeira locally?
There is an extreme shortage in the number of teachers of Capoeira here. There are only 2 teachers-myself and my assistant.

7. Would you be willing to give talks on Capoeira and/or provide live demonstrations if we held an exhibition to demonstrate martial arts?
Yes I would certainly do so. In fact, I already am doing that in other schools and colleges. The Ministry of Education pays me for my work in promoting Capoeira.

8. Do you have anything else to add?
I am thankful for the support I receive here in Singapore in my bid to increase the local awareness and popularity of Capoeira. The Sports Council recognises me and the MOE has read my projects. That is a first step. On other matters, I feel that Capoeira still could do with a higher level of exposure here in Singapore. I also feel that schools ned to support Capoeira more actively. The lessons i am offering are priced cheaply, at $120 per month, with about 8-10 lessons, depending on the number of weekends. Each session is two hours and the starting cost for the purchase of gear is $95.

luscher colour test

2006-08-14T23:03:00.000+08:00

ok. i gtg do work thats way overdue. lol. seems i;m always having overdue work. anyway. read on weiren's blog in an old post bout this test called the Luscher Colour Test and the results seem quite accurate. yea. check it out

my results
Your Existing Situation
Works well in cooperation with others but is disinclined to take the leading role. Needs a personal life of mutual understanding and freedom from discord.

Your Stress Sources
Has an unsatisfied need to ally himself with others whose standards are as high as his own, and to stand out from the herd. This desire for preeminence isolates him and inhibits his readiness to give himself freely. While he wants to surrender and let himself go, he regards this as a weakness which must be resisted. This self-restraint, he feels, will lift him above the rank and file and ensure recognition as a unique and distinctive personality.

food for thought

2006-08-13T17:44:00.001+08:00

Okay. I have work to do and I also have to go down to 'swim'. I do that because I really cannot swim. It's more like try to swim and fail pathetically. That's besides the point. I am writing this post as some food for thought. I'd like to think of myself as someone who thinks a lot and i know there's people who'll laugh at there, but why should i bother.

Here it goes.

On the train ride back just now from church I was talking to Marcus Koh and somehow, the conversation ended up about superstitions. We were just enjoying talking about when something he said struck me. He said 'just to be careful' in regard to taking precautions about these things; like for example, how we don't break mirrors in case it means bad luck or something.

Marcus made mention the following: there's a superstition that when a woman is pregnant she should not break sticks, bamboo or those lengthy objects, for it may affect her baby. Concerning that matter, he said that 'just to be careful' he would tell his wife not to do that next time.

He also asked me if I would do the same assuming I personally know someone whom was pregnant and dismissed the superstition and chopped a piece of bamboo or something like into fours and her baby came out with four fingers missing.

HOW ABOUT YOU? WHAT WOULD YOU DO? WHY? REFLECT ON IT FOR A WHILE. IT'S WORTH GIVING IT SOME THOUGHT.

done?

scroll down to read my answer.

That freaked me out for a while, but in blind faith so to speak, I said I still would not. That I would pray against it. That was a correct answer, but after I reflected on it, within 3 minutes I came up with my answer.

I would not because I believe that God is greater and above all those things and those things are there, placed by Satan, the father of lies, for a simple reason-to instill fear in us and to cause us to submit as a result. For that alone I would not listen. Secondly, superstitions are in the end superstitions; they are not called facts for a reason-they are not true, they just happen to be true. They can't occur all the time. Finally, God has a plan to prosper us and not to harm us, so I should trust in Him.

How about you?

What did you think you would have done?

Is it different now that you have read mine?

Give that some thought.

something interesting

2006-08-12T13:17:00.000+08:00

i got this from roy's blog. i visited cos i realised i haven't visited for soooo long. anyway, enjoy. oh yea. before that, these are my some of my aims i have set myself lately:

1. Realistically, to get BBBBBC(in order of GP, the 4 content-based subjects then CL)

2. To stay injury free till track nationals is over. not that i ever want to get injured ever again if possible. i just sprained my leg. fag. my ankle's been loose since banyar smacked em into a severe sprain last year. doc says its probably ankle laxity. crap. the physio'd better help.

3. To try and get back on track with God properly. seems to beckon to me, but i keep slacking away.

4. Not sure if this is possible, but to get to know all my class mates v. well.

5. still to get good at guitar.

Hi all, pretty long post. but i think it could be worth your time..

LETTING GO

Dr. Alan Zimmerman's comments:

Sooner or later, everyone you know will disappoint you in some way.

They'll say something or fail to say something that will hurt you. And they'll do something or fail to do something that will anger you. It's able.

Unfortunately, you make things worse when you stew over someone's words and deeds. When you dwell on a rude remark or an insensitive action made by another person, you're headed for deeper problems.

In fact, the more you dwell on these things, the more bitter you'll get.

You'll find your joy, peace and happiness slipping away. And you'll find your productivity slowing down as you find more and more time thinking about the slight or telling others about it. Eventually, if you don't stop doing it, you'll even get sick. So what should you do the next time someone betrays you? TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR FEELINGS. Even though the other person may be at fault, even though the other person wronged you, you are still responsible for your own feelings.

In other words, other people do not "cause" your feelings. You choose them.

For example, two different people could be told that their suggestions made at the staff meeting were "stupid and idiotic." One person may "choose" to feel so hurt that he never speaks up at any other meeting again. The other person may "choose" to feel sorry for the critic, sorry that the critic couldn't see the wisdom and necessity of her suggestions.

As long as you blame other people for your feelings, as long as you believe other people caused your feelings, you're stuck. You're a helpless victim.

But if you recognize the fact that you choose your feelings and you are responsible for your feelings, there's hope. You can take some time to think about your feelings. And you can decide what is the best thing to say or do.

Then, you've got to learn to WALK AWAY FROM DISAPPOINTMENT.

It's difficult to do, but it's possible. The famous 19th century Scottish historian, Thomas Carlyle, proved that. After working on his multi-volume set of books on "The French Revolution" for six years, Carlyle completed the manuscript and took volume one to his friend John Stuart Mill. He asked Mill to read it.

Five days later, Mill's maid accidentally threw the manuscript into the fire. In agony, Mill went to Carlyle's house to tell him that his work had been destroyed.

Carlyle did not flinch. With a smile, he said, "That's all right, Mill. These things happen. It is a part of life. I will start over. I can remember most of it, I am sure. Don't worry. It's all here in my mind. Go, my friend! Do not feel bad."

As Mill left, Carlyle watched him from the window. Carlyle turned to his wife and said, "I did not want him to see how crushed I am by this misfortune." And with a heavy sigh, he added, "Well the manuscript is gone, so I had better start writing again."

Carlyle finally completed the work, which ranks as one of the great classics of all time. He had learned to walk away from his disappointment.

After all, what could Carlyle have done about his burnt manuscript?

Nothing. Nothing would have resurrected the manuscript. All Carlyle could do was to get bitter or get started. And what can you do about anything once it is over? Not much. You can try to correct it if it is possible, or you can walk away from it if it isn't. Those are your only two choices.

Sometimes you've just got to shake it off and step up. It's like the farmer who had an old mule who fell into a deep dry well. As he assessed the situation, he knew it would be difficult, if not impossible, to lift the heavy mule out of the deep well.

So the farmer decided to bury the mule in the well.

After all, the mule was old and the well was dry, so he could solve two problems at once. He could put the old mule out of his misery and have his well filled.

The farmer asked his neighbors to help him with the shoveling. To work they went. As they threw shovel-full of dirt after shovel-full of dirt on the mule's back, the mule became frightened.

Then all of a sudden an idea came to the mule. Each time they would throw a shovel-full of dirt on his back; he would shake it off and step up. Shovel-full after shovel-full, the mule would shake it off and step up. In not too long a time, the exhausted and dirty mule stepped over the top of the
well and through the crowd.

That's the same approach we all need to take. We need to shake it off and step up.

Finally, you need to FORGIVE. It's difficult, especially when the other person doesn't deserve your forgiveness or doesn't even seek it. It's difficult when the other person is clearly in the wrong.

Part of the difficulty comes from a common misunderstanding of forgiveness.

Forgiveness doesn't mean that the other person's behavior is okay. And forgiveness doesn't mean that the other person is off the hook. He's still responsible for his misbehavior.

Forgiveness is about letting yourself off the emotional hook. It's about releasing your negative emotions, attitudes, and behaviors. It's about letting go of the past so you can go forward to the future.

Everyone in your life, everyone on and off the job is going to disappoint you. If you know how to respond to those situations, you'll be way ahead of most people. You'll be able to live above and beyond your circumstances.

Action:

Identify two people that have disappointed, hurt, or angered you. If possible, select two people towards whom you still have some bitterness.

Then ask yourself, "How does my bitterness serve me? Am I happier holding on to it?

Do I sleep better?

Is my life richer, fuller, and better because of my bitterness?"

If you find that your bitterness is hurting you, make a decision.

Actually decide to let it go.

Walk away from the disappointment -- which means you no longer dwell on it or talk about it.

The CHOICE is yours!

light... not high... not drunk...

2006-07-30T01:19:00.000+08:00

ok.... i just got back from ryan's birthday party... or rather, dinner-cum-music-enjoying evening....it was not bad. attended by myself, cheng, choo, marc, tahm, hector, caroline and obviously ryan himself. it was held at Timbre, a rather cool Bistro-cum-Music-bar... the food was alright but the service in terms of efficiency was terrible. i hope i'm typing this right... i am feelin kinda light, not really high but slightly, cos of one erm lets see, +thinks+ mango margarita, white russian, then a stupid stupid graveyard. yes... their all alcoholic. shit. the graveyard was probably darn darn darn darn strong.... masked by the antiseptic strepsil taste. the second half of the friggin big guiness glass i drank at once, nearly puked.
(i just did 4-5 minutes after i got home. having a slight head throb now). thank God i'm not drunk... i don't want a stupid darn hangover. crap. yea. anyway, bands that performed in the evening(or rather, night) were not bad save the stupid second group whose music sounded all the same. i think Timmy was the best band with chinese songs that sounded nice.... that's something new... crap. i feel like i have more to puke. shit. i think i will soon. after this post... after i was feeling light stupid ryan wanted me to drink more. turd... thank God i can really still know what i'm doing. crap. i can't study anymore. bugger....

on another matter...
CIP today was fun. i sold gelato ice cream at the Charity Fiesta.. yea. got lots of unwanted remnants of coupons that allowed me to try for lucky dip. i won the top prize, which was the thumbdrive plus vouchers for bodynits,but then realised they expire on 31st and for each 10 buck coupon i need to spend 50. piang. yea. anyway, i illegally exchanged the thumbdrive for a pair of armani shades... haha. alright!.... haha... ok... i shall go now. really feel like puking. crap....

yea. cheers.

au revoir!

random quotes

2006-07-20T23:22:00.000+08:00

lately there's been ppl upset bout things, so yea. enjoy life, take things easy, meet God. and watch/read/do funny things, etc.

here are a few quotes cheng sent me that are interesting. there's 10 of em.

quote 1
[raven]I tried setting my hotmail password to penis.
[raven]It said my password wasn't long enough.

quote 2 (scandaloua ally man. hahaha.)
[t-wolf]man, my girlfriend left me for some faggot named robert
[rdawg20]you don't live in Hope mills do you?
[t-wolf]ya, why man?
[rdawg20]lol, just wondering, was her namne alisson?
[t-wolf]you mother f****r

quote3
[tag]Ouroboros: lets play Pong
[ouroboros]Ok.
[tag] .
[ouroboros].
[tag] .
[ouroboros].
[tag] .
[ouroboros] .
[ouroboros]Whoops

quote 4
[jeedo]hey baby, whats up?
[indidge]umm....nothing?
[jeedo]So....want me to like come over today so we can f***?
[indidge]Wait....did you want to speak to my daughter?
[jeedo]Yes Mrs.Miller.. :-/

quote 5
[mooseondaloose]Hey Mike
[goatboy]what?
[mooseondaloose]Pussy.
[goatboy]er?
[mooseondaloose]Pussy.
[goatboy]and?
[mooseondaloose]Pussy.
[goatboy]...
[mooseondaloose]Pussy.
[goatboy]i dont get it
[mooseondaloose]AND YOU NEVER WILL.
[goatboy]bastard

quote 6
[ohm]damn
[ohm]F***
[ohm]DAMN
[ohm]i was just in an AIM convo with a chick, and my grandmother's window pops up
[ohm]F***
[ohm]i go like this to her
[ohm]"i want to suck on your clit"
[ohm]F***

quote 7
[reptile-]The first time hypr opened a box of Cheerios and looked inside he yelled, "OH WOW! DONUT SEEDS!"
[hypr]wtf are donut seeds

quote 8
[jonjonb]Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word "wand" with "wang" in the first Harry Potter Book
[jonjonb]Let's see the results...

[jonjonb]"Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.
[jonjonb]"Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything

[jonjonb]A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.

[jonjonb]"Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work."
[jonjonb]"Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. "

[jonjonb]Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls

[jonjonb]"Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"

[jonjonb]The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils.

[jonjonb]He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.

[jonjonb]He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.

[jonjonb]Ok
[jonjonb]I have found, definitive proof
[jonjonb]that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all
[jonjonb]"Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding.... Any second now, he might hear his mother again... but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to... or did he?
[melusine]O_______O
[jonjonb]Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang

[jonjonjonb]Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.

[jonjonjonb]'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.

quote 9
[blazemore]LITTLETON, Colo. - Colorado officials plan to try a 15-year-old boy as an adult for allegedly offering a Sony PlayStation to have his aunt killed.
[fliptopbx]is it modded?

quote 10 (This especially kicks ass)
Jakefeb3: do you know a turtles only weakness?
AvatarOfSolusek: no
AvatarOfSolusek: well
AvatarOfSolusek: thier slowness
Jakefeb3: there weakness is they cant roll over when they are on their backs
AvatarOfSolusek: lol
Jakefeb3: now i have a plan
Jakefeb3: if i duck tape 2 turtles together they are unstoppable

ok. gtg sleep. darn tired. hope i can wake for the run tmr morn. will add more in future. enjoy!

911 conspiracy theory

2006-07-09T03:41:00.000+08:00

ok. i haven't updated for how friggin long and i have some intentions to perhaps shut down this place, but thats a maybe only. not for certain. meanwhile, my previous interests in conpsiracy theories have been rekindled by this video. and please please spread it around. everyone HAS to watch it. it is on a very possible conspiracy theory of the 9/11 event. so yea. please share. and WATCH it! it may be long but watch it! defnitely worth the watch. for those interested in a list of websites to further prove, the end of the video has more websites as well as videos. enjoy.

Loose Change- the 911 Conspiracy Theory Video

i'm baccck!!!!

2006-06-14T00:15:00.000+08:00

+takes a deep breath and exhales+ darn the weather here in Singapore is badddd.....
i just got back from Perth like 3 hours ago. i did my 3rd Sudoku. The Aussie newspaper rated it 5 star difficulty, but guess what... i cracked it. haha. so fun. in bout 50mins to an hour though. haha. oh well. ok. as for my trip to Australia, it was a gd break. obviously while i brought work not much done. very lil. i so have to mug. hope i succeed. i'm not a mugger. i want to be one though. haha.

for my running, man oh man. i think my fitness is probably ZILCH now. don't think its realistic to run nationals for track and field anymore. yep. i have no idea how, but my groin muscle is strained. no big deal though. yea. my ankle's lots better. hopefully this high probability of missing nationals for t&f means a repeat of 2004 and 2005 for me where i missed t&f '04 before doing well in nats x-country '05. yea. pray so.

on another matter, the holiday made me fat. i am FAT. i know i sound like a dick (or maybe a girl-not being sexist here) but seriously i can't see my cheek bones anymore! lol. its seems like all my weeks of not training has made me fat. oh well. i'll burn it off. i think i'm ready to start training again. haha.

on the trip i also went for an informal session of golf lesson from some guy with a handicap of bout 1. he taught me how to hit the ball. hahah. so fun. yea

ok. thats it for now.

summary: i'm fat. i need to study. i need to start training again. i learnt golf. enjoyed the hols as a break.

strike 3 and i'm out

2006-05-15T23:25:00.000+08:00

strike 3 and im out. its the 3rd time i've sprained my ankle rather severely and this time it occurred just over a week ago at macritchie while on my long run. so ya. arrgh. i've been out for a week already and just like yester-yesterday, when i went to the doctor's for a review, he said its far from healed and should take another month off so right. i'm out for a month to let it heal properly. it better had properly this time. i get uber annoyed whenever it happens. arrgh. bugger banyar started all this when he tackled me so darn hard last year. i think it wasn't even a foul la. grrr. haha. yea. meanwhile, i've got the common test coming up soon so i have to study hard for it i guess. don't wanna fail and shit like that. man it takes discipline to get the silly study table and sit m (now fat) arse down and do my work. other jc students seem so free, why am i the only who can't manage his time properly? oh man oh man oh man. right. yea.

the silver lining in this hiatus from training is that have time to catch up i guess. God knows my need and i needed my ankle to heal. so its doing that now. i have been asking for that afterall... I also intended to take about a 6 week break from running this year and since cross, i've had 3 weeks. i have another 4 or so coming so i guess this would be this break. yea. i have to go find a way to maintain my fitness while giving my ankle its needed recovery. and i so do not know how i'm going to achieve all i've set to achieve in my mind for myself this year. arrgh. i need God's help. which reminds me, please pray for me cos i haven't had the discipline to spend time with Him daily.

two things i ask of God to grant me: Extreme Discipline, Absolute Faith.
with those, life'll be a whole lot easier.

running for x-country comm

2006-04-24T23:58:00.000+08:00

ok yea. so its late and i have to sleep but i'll just update a little. I've started studying for the common test (1 chapter, but hey its a start right) and i've decided firmly to put in a constant effort in my work and study like when i was in sec four. i think thats a good enough effort for now. if i manage to get to that stage quickly, i'll see how things go. i'm going to resume training proper soon and i hope i get a whole load faster. i've found out interestingly that the Singaporean record for the marathaon is a whole lot faster than i thought. ok. that was out of point, or maybe not, for i hope to break it in the not too distat future i hope, but thats another point for another time.

i've managed to finish my PI (thank God) and I hope its acceptable. it's rather amusing how we're expected to then pick a PI for the group from the group members. imagine if the all weren't very good. hmmm. oh well. what other updates? let me see.

oh. yes. the x-country(x-country looks nicer than cross-country don't u think? hmmm. maybe its just me) team is picking the committee for next year's team soon and it was melvin's idea or someone's idea that we all run and i've got people telling me to run and try or i'll ask myself 'what if' questions and so i have decided to run. i think i need to tell mr tay and although i have a feeling in my gut that he'll be laughing inside, but nevermind, since when have i bothered when people laugh at me? not often, so it'll be the same this time. and i figured also that maybe mr quek doesn't hate me like i thought. haha.

finally, since my mum mentioned it, albeit sarcastically, i think i shall mention it. i lost my key again. haha. yes. not surprising, but maybe its a blessing in disguise, for i have found that a wondrous place to study is downstairs, by the pool, for few use it at 8 plus and there are lights and it is silent, perfect for thoughts and such. i finished my chinese compo there just now. (which reminds me, i need to photocopy some chinese thingamajig) its way way longer than i expect. 1000 words perhaps? haha. and i think its a good effort. yea. ok. i shall end here.

oh yea. oh yea. one more thing. i borrowed Daniel's Running Formula from zhenghong. just to read. i can only experiment with my own training after jc, so yea. i'll try the vDOT thing again and properly this time, tried last year but failed horribly for i had no motivation. yep. yes. finally over with updating.

for the commonfolk, waddle on.
for the serious runners, Godspeed... and good night.

out of the sub8 club

2006-04-22T00:27:00.000+08:00

NO... i am OUT of the sub 8 club!!!! my 2.4 is ABOVE 8!!!! great. i have a lot of work to do...

and so it's over.

2006-04-12T23:31:00.000+08:00

so sits me here and i am disappointed with my dismal performance and the climax of all cross-country events in Singapore- the annual inter-school cross country performance. to cut short the whining and crap, i messed up. badly. i like so ran a bad timing. my time last year was 15"45 and this year? 16"23 thereabouts. WHAT ON EARTH. so much for third. oh well. its over. the winning streak for rj has ended. for this year. next year it'll be ours again. and i will do well. i'm NOT a one-time wonder.

now its a new chapter and soon will commence my training for track and field. somehow, this year, track and field seems to be more of a chance to do well. i sure hope its true.

anyway, thats all i have for now. its late. i ought to start my early sleeping habits tomorrow to do well for track and field. oh. i have no idea why i'm putting this down, but it may interest some of you.who knows, maybe i have a stalker out there. haha. ok. thats not really funny actually, but this world IS a weird place.

this is what i'll be up to for the next 2 weeks or so before i resume my training for T&F where i pray RJ kicks ass:

-15th April, Sat- National Juniors. 3000m Steeplechase (woohoo! this should be fun even if i don't win anything. but hope i do well.)

-16th April, Sun- National Juniors. 1500m (i've always wanted to run this event, but i'm sorta too slow. for now. haha. i'm not sure if the 3000m SC from the day before will take its toll but whatever, i'll go for this. for experience. and to see how bad my ass gets kicked by mok, dashanan{is that how its spelt?} and nabil plus the serious 1500ers)

-29th April, Sat- New Balance Aquathlon (800m swim, 5km run. should be fun. dun think can win prize. haha. if can, amazing. haha. better start swimming everyday. i'm expected to anyway, for recovery and maintenance of form till training resumes)

race screw-up

2006-03-18T19:36:00.000+08:00

imagine this. a guy running thru a race. before the race starts, he warms up and stretches. then heading towards the start line, he realises he's not warmed up enough. so he should jog around right? but he feels that others aren't doing so, so why should he be doing so? he doesn't. when the race starts, he can't move his legs and stride properly, because they've cooled down. he tries to run faster, but can't. others leave him behind. later on, after 2kilometres over, then he can begin to move. he catches ppl. for the last 600m he makes a brave effort, catching people and letting no one come near him. when he finishes, he catches his breath for a WHOLE TEN seconds. then he walks off, like nothing happened. WOW. he is not tired. he has wasted a good racing opportunity. he feels like such a retard. he didn't do his best. he couldn't do his best. he didn't do a pr(personal record). he wasn't close to his pr. 43 seconds off. he did 16:28. he thinks to himself "WHAT WAS I DOING?!" he once again goes home without a medal in the yaer of 2006. in this year so far, he has yet to bring home a medal, a single medal. no top 10 finish, no race he is pleased with. no personal records broken or rewritten. he is not pleased. he screwed up his race.

that person is me.

depression

2006-03-11T11:58:00.000+08:00

there was the great depression in America which affected the world. now there is the Wen Loong depression and i hope you peeps training well and doing good don't get affected. but i can't help it. i'm annoyed and irritated. i'm stagnating, on a darn plateau for training and running. like i can't improve anymore, which is crap. last year's time can't be my best, cos that's rubbish. wasn't even blazing fast. i don't think i can blame anyone else but myself, but i've been resting more than last year, eating properly and still getting damn diarrhoea. i mean i've had like diarrhoea for darn long but its worse lately. bad. crap. this sucks. really does. i hope none of u runners out there suffer the same fate. like crap. i am not blaming quek, but he and tay keep scolding me also, doesn't help. the discouragement. i don't know. sometimes (actually quite often) i wish i was back training at AcX, where i seemed to improve all the time. i'm stuck on the same pace for long run as a month over ago and today did only 12km and still sucked. arrrrggh.

i've even tried watching Prefeontaine The Movie and it is definitely inspiring but i can't seem to get faster. i even had to rely on inspiration just to get through the torturously slow 12km today. i've read PRE and the book's awesome, PRE himself is magnificent, awesome, spectacular. it's inspiring. I've read God On The Starting Line by Marc Bloom. inspirational too. man... i need help. God, i need your divine intervention....

i can only pray i race well this coming friday to keep me focused and that on April 12th i do a darned good time.

i have honestly even felt like quitting running, which is sooo not me. its a good sport and has always been a love of mine...

HELP ME. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?! WHAT HAVE I DONE WRONG?!

pls God.... help...

and sorry ryan. if i said i'd practice though i remember saying i didn't wanna go. yea. sorry. absolutely sorry.

arrrghh. not ryan's fault of course, it's mine, but i feel worse now. can't i do anythign right?! bleaghx...

johari window

2006-02-27T10:04:00.000+08:00

ooooh.... cool. help me do this thingy. i found out what a Johari window is. i was being random so i went steph's blog to read. and found it. haha. ryan. now i know what it is. go to the link for it and help me do!!! please! thanks. it only takes a really short while.

click HERE to help me do the Johari's window thing! please!

+ps: i am bloggin cos i'm in the sch library with 5 hours of free periods today. haha+

more random stuff for the guitar fans.
I.click here to watch a uber nice version of canon in d that rocks core (i could listen to this the whole day man)
II.this ukelele guy rocks. anyone with this song pls send it to me! (think its called "while my guitar gently weeps")
III.some cool acoustic stuff